Trapped Dolphin
by somnambulist-dreams
Summary: “This isn’t a joke, Iruka sensei. I WILL kill you,” Kakashi warned. It was quite chilling to hear Kakashi utter those words. Iruka never imagined for an instant in his life that he would feel the wrath of Konoha’s legendary copy nin... kakairu.
1. Blood Lust

Disclaimer: I'm not filthy rich and I don't own Naruto or any other characters in the anime. Though, if I did, I'd be living in paradise...

Warning: This is a YAOI fanfic, hence the kakairu pairing, so if you're not into those kinds of stuff, well, it's not my fault anymore if you read on.  
One other thing, this is my first fic I had the courage to post on the net, since there is noticeably few kakairu fics out there. Any comments, suggestions, or violent reactions are very much appreciated.  
By the way, I tend to write long chapters since in my experience as an avid fanfic fan, I absolutely despise having to wait for the page to load and then suddenly seeing only about ten lines per chapter. If you're the type who likes to read only notoriously short chapters, well, you're just going to have to endure this- or not at all.  
For those who still want to read despite all the unnecessary warnings, well, enjoy. :)

**NOVEMBER 5, 2009: Important Author's Note:** Hi... I'll post the next chapter within the next couple of days. This next chapter, however, is NC-17, which could lead to the suspension of my account if ever the powers that be get wind of it. Hence, I've started posting a REVISED version of this fiction on my lj page, **renka-sd DOT livejournal DOT com** ( just replace DOT with .). Or navigate to my profile page and just click the link there (which might be easier to do):p. Feel free to just go there and read the REVISED and edited version (now made more reader-friendly with less! grammatical errors). As of now, only the revised chapters upto CH7 have been posted there. I'll post the rest within the next couple of days, along with CH11.

Leave a comment on my lj if you want. I'll post a proper explanation and sort of apology letter for my absence these past YEARS! on my lj as well, so please go there if you're one of those who used to read this fic but since I didn't update for so long, felt cheated, and now need at least some sort of explanation to ease your curiosity/anger.

Again, I'll continue posting future chapters here, but I'll only post the REVISED chapters on my lj, **renka-sd DOT livejournal DOTcom** , so if you want the better versions, you can go there. Nothing much changed in the story, I just made some details clearer and corrected some errors here and there. If however, you don't mind reading through this, then please, do go on.

Lots of love, SD.

Trapped Dolphin  
by Somnambulist Dreams

Chapter 1: Blood Lust

He watched with intent fascination as the blood trickled from his wrist. He took his kunai and made another wound on his wrist. It stung a little, but he reveled in that familiar feeling. It seems that for these past few months, he had been slashing his flesh more frequently, and more ferociously. He would slash his left wrist several times over, and shift the kunai to his left hand and slash his right hand even as the blood flowed from his left wrist.

Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he needed something to enjoy. Maybe he needed something to negate all the numbness he felt inside of him. Maybe he just needed to feel some kind of warmth, even if it was his blood flowing in rivers down his arms. Maybe… he just needed to feel alive.

He watched with equal enthrallment as his blood swirled and mixed with the bathwater in the tub. Sometimes, he would make himself bleed up to the point where he was lying in a pool of blood and water. _Maybe someday_, he thought grimly, _this will all be my blood_.

He turned the shower on and watched the blood and water drain. When he got out of the tub, the slashes on both his wrists had stopped bleeding. He dressed up, and slowly and carefully wrapped his arms in bandages. Thankfully his uniform concealed the bandages perfectly. Tomorrow, he would wake up, take a quick shower, dress up in his spotless and well-ironed uniform, tie his hair back into a neat ponytail, wear the symbol of his country on his forehead, report for work an hour before time, smile and exchange little pleasantries with the other ninjas, and be the person everyone expects him to be: helpful, cheery, and good-natured Umino Iruka.

But for now… he would just curl under the sheets and revel in the frigid atmosphere of his room.

"Ohayo, Asuma-sensei," Iruka greeted the chain-smoking teacher.

Asuma puffed smoke out of his mouth before turning to the cheery ninja. "Iruka-sensei," he acknowledged.

"You're here early."

"Kurenai told me to meet here," he snorted.

"Aa," Iruka just said. He knew there was something going on between Asuma and Kurenai, though they tried to hide it. He found it rather amusing, but he really didn't want to pry.

He went inside the mission room, and arranged the papers and scrolls lying around. He heard a knock on the door, and when he turned around, Kakashi head peeked in the room.

Iruka blinked. "Why, good morning Kakashi sensei. Isn't it out of character for you to be here so early?" Iruka asked with a small smile.

"Actually, Tsunade-sama called us in about an hour an a half ago."

Before Iruka could say anything else, the door flew wide open and Naruto came bouncing in. "Oi, Iruka-sensei!" he shouted.

"Naruto!" Iruka said in surprise. He ruffled the boy's hair just as the two other gennins came inside.

"We're going out on a mission today!" Naruto reported enthusiastically.

"Really, you are? Why wasn't I informed of this?" Iruka asked.

"It was a last minute thing, is what I heard," Naruto explained.

"Naruto come on now, or Tsunade would throw a fit if we're late," Kakashi said.

"It's your darn fault! You were the one who was so late!" Naruto scolded his teacher as he walked back to his group. "See you around, Iruka-sensei."

"Do your best, Naruto. When you return from your mission, how about I treat you to some ramen again?"

At this, the boy's face brightened. "You bet!" he said as he walked out of the room.

Iruka watched as Naruto walked away from him. Somehow, the gesture was one he'd seen so many times before. His parents' figures as they walked away to fight the kyuubi, and the countless other ninjas who received their missions from him, and never returned. He didn't want Naruto to share the same fate as them. If there were things he cared about more than his life, it would be his students, most especially Naruto. That was why he chose to stay as a Chuunin, he wanted to remain as a teacher, and devote his time to teaching students more than just controlling chakra or changing forms, but things that could really help them in life. Things he wish he knew back when he was small. Things he now knows would help them never to turn out like he did.

He felt the familiar emptiness as he sat himself back down on his seat. He felt the wounds on his wrists itch. He gripped his left wrist tightly, trying to quell the urge to slash himself again. Somehow, he feels a sliver of happiness whenever he sees Naruto. It makes him feel like he actually accomplished something good in his life. However, the loneliness that came whenever Naruto left was almost too hard to bear. He found his right hand slowly reaching for a kunai from his holder, he gripped the cold metal of the weapon in his hand and as he drew it out, the door opened and several ninjas walked in. He placed the kunai back and closed his holder. He covered his face with his hand as he chuckled lightly. "Maybe I need a new hobby," he said in amusement.

"You called, Tsunade-sama?" Iruka asked later that day as he entered the hokage's room.

"Here are some more missions to hand out," Tsunade said, pointing to him a pile of scrolls beside her desk.

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking, Tsunade-sama, what was the nature of the mission you gave to Kakashi-sensei's group?"

Tsunade looked up from the piles of books and papers in front of her. "Worried about Naruto again?"

Iruka chuckled.

"Well, I wouldn't worry much if I were you. It's just a B class mission. Nothing they can't handle. Besides, Kakashi's with them."

"Ah, yes. Of course, Kakashi-sensei _is_ a very reliable jounin," he said in his usual pleasant tone. _Kakashi_, he thought grimly, _of course. Wouldn't want to disrespect the genius' talent_. "Well, sorry to disturb you, hokage-sama," he said as he turned to the door.

"Wait a sec, Iruka," Tsunade called out.

Iruka turned around.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked.

"Why, yes. I feel just fine. Why do you ask, Tsunade-sama?"

"You just look a little pale that's all."

"Oh," Iruka said, fearing that the medical nin had found him out. "It's probably because I haven't had any breakfast yet," he reasoned out.

"Breakfast? Iruka, it's two in the afternoon. You haven't eaten anything yet?" Tsunade asked.

Iruka smiled sheepishly, "Well, I suppose I just lost track of time."

"Ah! You're being such a workaholic again. I wouldn't have any of my ninjas starve to death. Go ahead and take a break. I'm sure someone else can fill in for you. Besides, your students will miss their favorite teacher if you get sick."

Iruka nodded. He knew there was no arguing with Tsunade. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama," he said.

When Iruka had stepped out of the room, Tsunade looked intently at the door. She knew something must be wrong with the mild-mannered Chuunin. She has been noticing it since the first time she met him. The warm smile, the kind gestures, even the gentleness he exudes, all of them seemed different. Like it's all a big mask to hide something deeper. Something totally unexpected. It didn't help that everyday she sees him, he'd grow paler and paler, and every time she'd inquire about it, he hides it with a smile. Yes. Something was definitely wrong. She wasn't a medical nin for nothing. And she's certainly not a hokage for nothing either.

Iruka stepped out of the mission room to get a quick snack, but found himself walking to the direction of Ichiraku Ramen. He smiled. This was his favorite place to eat. It brought back so many fond memories, mostly about him and Naruto. He suddenly wondered how the feisty boy was doing. Knowing him, he was probably causing a lot of ruckus in his mission.

He pushed the flaps aside and was about to sit down when he noticed a familiar figure sitting at the edge of the bench. "Kakashi-sensei!" he gasped.

Kakashi turned to him, and smiled sheepishly under his mask, evidenced only by his eye that arched playfully. "Hey, Iruka-sensei," he greeted back.

Iruka was dumbstruck. "Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be in a mission with Naruto and the others?"

"Well… I figured they can handle the mission themselves," he said.

Iruka's face registered an indignant expression. "H-how could you let them go out on a mission by themselves? They could get seriously hurt!" Iruka protested. He was even more dumbstruck when the copy-nin just burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Iruka asked angrily.

"You," Kakashi answered. "You looked like the end of the world is near. Relax, Iruka-sensei. Tsunade-sama arranged a mission for the three kids only. I wasn't even asked to tag along."

"But… Tsunade-sama told me---"

"That I was with them? She just didn't want you to worry, knowing how fidgety you get when Naruto could be in any potential danger."

"So why did you come to meet Tsunade-sama then?" Iruka asked.

"Hey, you're going to eat, right? Well, sit down, sit down," Kakashi insisted.

Iruka remained standing. "Are you purposely trying to avoid my question, Kakashi-sensei?" he asked.

"No, why would I do that? Well, if we're going to have this little chat then you might as well sit down, am a right?" Kakashi reasoned out.

Iruka sighed and sat himself down. The server came to him, and he ordered ramen and some water. "So? Do you have a mission as well?" he asked, although not sure why it would matter to him if he _did_ have a mission.

"Actually, I do have a mission. But I'm not just about to reveal it to a lowly school teacher like you," Kakashi said.

"I knew that was coming," Iruka just mumbled. He has become used to Kakashi's frequent insults and puns against him being a low level chuunin and a schoolteacher. In fact, he'd be surprised if Kakashi suddenly forgets to insult him. However, it didn't mean that he got used to it that he had to like it. Iruka resented Kakashi for that. Resented him for being able to deliver wisecrack after wisecrack and degrading his already non-existent self-esteem. Resented him more for being the one person to replace him in Naruto's heart. As far as Iruka is concerned, Naruto only thinks of him as a person of the past. No future.

He felt himself plunge into that frigid darkness he usually felt when he was alone. _Well_, he smiled inwardly_, I'm always alone_. The wounds on his arms began to itch again, and he was feeling the urge to see that bl---

"He-ey, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka snapped out of his daydream to stare directly into Kakashi's eye, uncharacteristically wide with curiosity. "What is it?"

"You looked like you were in a whole different world. Worrying about your little baby Naruto again?"

Iruka tightened his fists on the table, and Kakashi watched with great amusement as his knuckles grew white. "Naruto is not a baby!" he protested.

Kakashi was taken aback by what he said. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I know that kid's not a wussy. I meant he's _your_ baby, you could've very well been his mother the way you treat him," Kakashi explained, only to realized he had just made the situation worse if what Iruka's enraged expression showed anything at all.

Iruka stood up and turned to the counter, "Can I have that for take-out instead?" he called out, rather loudly.

"What, no angry retort, _Iruka-sensei_? I bet you just want to punch me now, am I right?" Kakashi said smugly.

Oh yes, Iruka wanted to beat the man up so badly. Yet he knew if he very well as tried to lay a finger on him, he'd be the one who is going to end up black and blue. Besides, Kakashi'd just love that. It'd give him a chance to belittle him again. Iruka just stood there silent, hands into tight little balls at his sides, as he waited for his food. When the server arrived, he took the plastic bags and paid for his bill. "It was nice seeing you again, Kakashi-sensei. Good day," he said with a very fake polite tone of voice.

Kakashi just laughed, and called out to him as he walked away, "If you don't release that anger, Iruka-sensei, you're going to explode one of these days!"

Iruka tried to ignore him as he walked swiftly away. Yes, one of these days, he might just explode. Why the jounin always tormented him and bullied him was beyond Iruka. Was he just like that? Did he get his kicks from making everyone else feel miserable? Oh wait, scratch that. For making Iruka miserable? It was bad enough that he insulted his skills, even made fun of his personality, what he couldn't take was Kakashi insulting his relationship with Naruto. It was just too much.

Kakashi turned back to his food and scratched his head as he forced a sheepish smile on his face. It seems like every time he talks to the chuunin, all that come out are cheap jokes and insults. Why he couldn't just have a normal conversation with the guy is beyond him. "Way to go, Kakashi. You've really done it this time," he said.

The lights almost seemed blinding in the darkness of the night, and Iruka found himself alone again in the mission room, cleaning up after the ninjas who were all too eager to leave. He was fine with doing the heavy-duty chores anyway since he had nothing else to do…except probably wallow in self-pity again. Then, suddenly, the door to the mission room flew open and Naruto came bouncing in.

"Naruto!" Iruka gasped.

"Iruka-sensei!" he yelled quite enthusiastically.

"You're back from your mission so early? I take it went well?" Iruka asked.

"You bet! Although that bastard Sasuke had to show off again," he complained. "But, anyway, let's go. You promised me ramen, Iruka-sensei," he reminded him.

Iruka looked at the watch and noticed it was already half past eleven. "Naruto, it's way too late for ramen. Ichiraku's closed already."

Naruto pouted, and Iruka felt like somebody had just crushed his heart, if it wasn't already crushed. Maybe he was spoiling Naruto too much.

"We'll do it, tomorrow at lunch time. I promise," he said.

Naruto's face brightened. "Okay then," he agreed. "By the way, I saw Kakashi-sensei before I came here, and he said something about comforting my mommy? What did he mean by that?" Naruto asked.

If it weren't for the look of pure innocence and curiosity on Naruto's face, Iruka would have already burst into violent fits. "It's nothing, Naruto. It was just a cruel joke. Shouldn't you be sleeping already? It's really late, Naruto," Iruka said, changing the subject.

Naruto stared at his teacher's face for a moment. Iruka's face looked like a mixture of vexation, fatigue, and anger. "Something wrong, Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

"No. Naruto. Just tired, that's all," he told the boy.

"You sure? You'd tell me if there's anything wrong, right?" Naruto asked.

Iruka couldn't help but smile. Naruto had always been a very considerate person, which was often misread by people as being nosy. "Sure, I would," Iruka replied. He would've hated to lie to his favorite student, wait, ex-student. But he just couldn't tell him, _yes everything is wrong. I'm sick of my fucking life. I just want to bleed to death one of these days, but I just couldn't do it. To the very end, I am what Kakashi always said I was. A weakling. And I end up hating myself even more._

Naruto grinned widely. "Alright. I'll go home now. Tomorrow, at lunch, right?" he confirmed.

"Yeah."

Naruto ran down the darkened hallways of the headquarters, and when he was a good measure away from the mission room, he stopped and a puff of smoke engulfed him. When the smoke subsided, Kakashi appeared in Naruto's place and was standing in the hallway, his visible eye lost in deep contemplation. He was quite rattled, and intrigued at the same time. He sensed Iruka's heartbeat grow rapid when he asked if there was anything wrong. Meaning there was something going on. And from the looks of it, it was something so serious that Iruka would even lie about it to Naruto. "Something is definitely wrong," Kakashi said to himself.

TBC

AN:  
Well, here ends chapter 1. Again, any comments, suggestions or violent reactions are very much appreciated.

By the way, since the local TV channel here has this irritating habit of showing reruns of Naruto instead of the more recent episodes, I am sadly, and frustratingly, inadequately informed. They've probably only shown upto episode 106 or somewhere close to that. So, in line with my trying to make my fic a bit more believable, here are a few questions I'd appreciate a lot if answered.

1. Exactly what time DOES Ichiraku close during the night? Do they even close at all?  
2. I know Iruka teaches at the Ninja Academy but he also has a job working in the mission room. So then when does he teach and when does he work in the mission room (does he teach only on weekdays and work during weekends and after school hours)?  
3. How do they determine when a ninja will become a jounin? Do they have a test or something like that?  
4. I heard a nasty rumor that Kakashi will die towards the end of the series, is that true?

Also any errors in my story (typographical, grammatical, or simply illogical)? Please, do tell me.

Thanks.  
somnambulist dreams


	2. Betrayal

Disclaimer: I'm not filthy rich and I don't own Naruto or any other characters in the anime. Though, if I did, I'd be living in paradise...

Warning: This is YAOI, so if you're not into those kinds of stuff, well, it's not my fault anymore if you read on.

One other thing, this is my first fic I had the courage to post on the net, so any comments, suggestions, or violent reactions are very much appreciated.

Chapter 2: Betrayal

The sharp edge sunk into his flesh again, reopening his wounds every single time. He reveled in the familiar feeling of the warm blood flowing from his wrists. He watched it flow down his arms and into the bathwater, swirling in the tub and tainting the water with a faint red. He turned the shower on and pulled the plug to drain the water. He closed his eyes as he ducked his head under the spray of warm water. Then suddenly his eyes shot wide open. Had he just imagined it? No. He had definitely heard it. Someone had broken into his apartment.

He left the water running and silently but swiftly got out of the shower. Turning the shower off can alert the intruder, he would have to remember to turn it off later. He took a hand towel and wiped the blood from his wrists, and wrapped his arms with bandage as quickly as he could. If he was going to confront a possible criminal in his home, he might as well do it like he was in perfect shape- and with clothes on. He grabbed for his navy blue boxers that were thankfully in the bathroom. He didn't want to chase a criminal in the streets of Konoha butt naked. He was a teacher, for crying out loud. He put them on with lightening speed as he pressed his ear against the door, listening for any kind of movement outside, but hearing none. Maybe it was just his imagination. But, if there's one thing he learned with being a ninja and teaching little kids to be ninjas, it's to always trust your instincts.

He gripped his kunai tightly with one hand, and with one swift movement, he pushed his door wide open ready to strike anyone who dared to break in his apartment. His eyes grew wide when he saw that nothing was disturbed in his room. So far, there were no signs that anyone even went in. However, when he moved deeper into his room, he noticed one minuscule detail. His window was half an inch open!

Then just as he realized this detail, he felt a movement behind him and he dodged quickly as a shuriken went whooshing past his ear, catching some of his unbound hair. He turned around and several more shuriken were thrown at him, all hitting him square on the chest. Then poof! Iruka was engulfed in smoke and when the smoke subsided, a tall lampshade was in his place, riddled with shurikens.

'_Darn, I liked that lamp_,' Iruka thought as he hid behind his study table and waited for another movement. The room was dark, he couldn't see the perpetrator, but he knew he was there. It was a shinobi! A well-trained one in fact. Iruka instinctively grabbed towards his thigh only to realize he wasn't wearing his shinobi uniform. He had left his kunai holder on a table at the far end of the room, his vest and other equipment along with it. He cursed his luck that he was only armed with a single kunai. He smirked darkly. '_That means I have to make do with what little I've got.'_

Iruka jumped out from behind the table and charged his assailant foolishly head on. He got a good look at his face, and he gasped in surprise and utter bewilderment. "Kakashi-sensei!" he gasped before his assailant threw kunais at him, and he was hit several times over. Then poof! Iruka vanished.

Kakashi was taken aback. "Bunshin no jutsu?" he whispered.

A million and one thoughts came rushing into Iruka's mind at that instant. Was this really Kakashi-sensei, or an enemy pretending to be him? No, it couldn't be. Why would an enemy pretend to be Kakashi-sensei and then try to kill him? He was but a lowly chuunin. Unimportant compared to countless other more powerful ninjas. It just wouldn't make any sense. Which leaves him with the only other possible explanation. That it was really Kakashi-sensei that was trying to kill him. But for what reason, he had absolutely no idea. Was Kakashi working for the enemy now? Or did he suspect Iruka to be the enemy? He couldn't be quite sure. '_Well_,' he thought grimly, '_if it really is Kakashi-sensei that's targeting me, I'd be dead in no time at all_.'

Concentrating chakra in his hands, he took the table and threw it in Kakashi's direction. Kakashi immediately punched the table, splitting it in half. Then, out of nowhere, Iruka charged him again, kunai in hand. He blocks it with his own kunai, and for a split second, Iruka's dark eyes locked gazes with his own as he whispered, "You can kill me anytime, but I won't go down without a fight."

Kakashi chuckled. "As you wish," he replied, his other hand appearing out of nowhere, another kunai in hand. It took Iruka by surprise, but he managed to dodge the full force of the attack. He stumbled several feet away from Kakashi, one hand on his chest where a nasty slash was bleeding profusely. If he hadn't been able to move in the very last split second, he would probably be lying dead on the ground, a kunai stuck in his heart.

Iruka still managed a smirk as he spoke again. "Don't know exactly why you are doing this, but I'll play along," he said before raising his arm to his side and smashing the glass of the window and immediately jumping out of the apartment. He knew if he would have at least a small chance of survival, he needed to get out of that small cramped space. He jumped up on the rooftop, the sting of the freezing tiles on his bare feet and the chilly air on his hair and skin still damp from his bath startled him a bit, but he wasn't deterred. He sprinted, to where he did not know. He stopped immediately when Kakashi appeared in front of him again.

"Where are you going, Iruka-sensei?" he said in a teasing voice.

"Thought I'd level the field a bit more," Iruka said. What level the field? The field's greatly slanted in favor of Kakashi. He thought it a grave insult that Kakashi would not even use his sharingan eye on him. Of course, he'd never use it on a weak chuunin like him.

Iruka scratched the scar on his nose as he smiled sheepishly. "Then there's this little thing about me hating to clean out blood from my sheets."

"This isn't a joke, Iruka-sensei. I _will_ kill you," Kakashi warned.

It was quite chilling to hear Kakashi utter those words. Iruka never imagined for an instant in his life that he would feel the wrath of Konoha's legendary copy-nin, but now that it is all too real, his thoughts suddenly turned to Naruto. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. If Kakashi had really allied with Konoha's enemies, which wasn't entirely impossible, then this must mean that Konoha is in grave danger, not to mention Naruto and the others who trust him so much. _Naruto_. He would probably be the only reason why Kakashi is trying to kill Iruka. Iruka was close to the boy. Closer than anyone. And if he could get rid of him, he could manipulate Naruto any way he wanted. He could even make him release the kyuubi inside him.

"Just tell me this, Kakashi-sensei, since you are just so eager to get rid of me," Iruka began. He steeled himself. He realized if his suspicions are correct, he had to survive this, if only for Naruto. "What country are you working for?" he asked.

Kakashi gave a hollow laugh as he took two kunais and twirled them around on his finger. "Why would you assume I had betrayed Konoha? If I had indeed turned against this country, would I not be targeting the hokage instead of some small fry schoolteacher such as yourself?"

"Why then would you be intent on killing me? Unless it's all for a bigger picture. Unless you're going to use my death as an advantage to manipulate someone," Iruka revealed his thoughts.

"Oh?" Kakashi said in an amused tone. "And who would this someone be then?"

"_Naruto_," Iruka said.

Kakashi's visible eye turned grim, and Iruka sensed that he must have been smiling a devious smile under that mask. He chuckled. "I've always admired your intelligence, Iruka-sensei. But I also knew you were too smart for your own good," he said as he reached a hand to his tai-ate, smoothing his palm over it, and when he put his hand down, it revealed the infamous musical note insignia of the country of sound. "Didn't I tell you that you mother the kid too much?" he continued. "So with you gone, murdered in cold blood, well it's only very easy to fuel the hatred in Naruto's heart."

Iruka was expecting this, but when his suspicions had been proven right on the mark, it felt like he was thrown off a cliff and hit by a hundred raging bulls. Panic rung in his ears as he desperately tried to come up with a good plan to survive until such time when he can tell someone of Kakashi's treachery. He had to warn someone! "You're sick, Kakashi-sensei. I never knew you would sink to such a low level as being Orochimaru's lackey," Iruka told him.

"Well, like they say, I know which side my bread is buttered. Let's get this on, shall we? I still have to practice my speech to comfort Naruto when he sees your mangled body," Kakashi said.

"You bastard. I'll do everything I can so that you won't ever have to lay a hand on Naruto again," Iruka growled, crouching and suddenly bursting into a sprint towards Kakashi. He tried to strike with his kunai again, but Kakashi just deflected it and sent him flying several feet away. Before Iruka could even land his feet on the mossy roof tiles, he felt the sting of cold metal on his abdomen and realized that Kakashi had just appeared right in front of him, his eye upturned in what seemed like a pleased expression, and stabbed him with a kunai on his abdomen. Iruka withdrew immediately, thanking all his luck that the kunai had only sunk an inch in him before he was able to regain his footing and back away immediately. He landed with one knee on the tiles near the slanted ledge of the roof. He pressed his hand on his abdomen as blood gushed out of the open wound. The sight of so much blood spilling from him didn't bother him much. Even the sting was one he thought he actually got used to already. '_Just an inch_,' he thought. But an inch was all it might take for his guts to spill out, if ever that were the case. He had to be more careful and think of a plan.

He caught sight of a light at the headquarters. Tsunade-sama's room. He thanked his luck once more that Tsunade felt like doing overnight work. He would make the headquarters tower his destination. If he could let Tsunade know, then all would be alright. Kakashi would think twice before he went up against the hokage herself. Better her than some other ninja Kakashi could take out immediately. Even if he had to die, he had to let Tsunade know that Kakashi had betrayed them first.

He stole a glance at where he kneeled, and an epiphany struck him. _Perfect_, Iruka thought. He righted himself immediately and tried to muster a perfect fighting stance despite the potentially lethal wound on his abdomen.

"Why do you resist, Iruka-sensei? You **do** remember that I am far stronger than you," Kakashi said as he slowly walked to Iruka, and suddenly vanished only to reappear right in front of him. He gave a devastatingly powerful blow to Iruka's gut, right where he had stabbed him, and Iruka spat out blood, aiming it at Kakashi's visible eye. This surprised Kakashi, but he quickly shielded his face with his arms. Iruka took this opportunity and lunged at Kakashi with his kunai, which by some miracle he still had. He had but grazed Kakashi's vest when the man took a couple of steps back to dodge his attack.

"You might be stronger," Iruka began. Kakashi barely caught a glimpse of Iruka smirking weakly, his hands channeling chakra on the roof, before the tiles in his feet collapsed and sent him falling into the apartment below. Somewhere between the roof giving way and him falling, he heard Iruka say, "but I'm smarter."

He found himself lying on a pile of rubble in Iruka's living room a split second later, dusty and with small bruises in some places. He chuckled as he stood up. "I certainly didn't expect this," he said as he brushed off the dirt from his uniform, and became irked when he saw the slice on his vest that Iruka's kunai had made. He also hadn't realized that measly attempt at an attack had left a fine red slash on his abdomen. "Oh well," he said. "Gotta get him back for this," he thought out loud.

Iruka went down to the street and made a dash for the headquarters as soon as Kakashi fell into his apartment. He knew that wouldn't stall the experienced jounin much. But it might buy him a couple of seconds' head start, and those couple of seconds might spell either certain death or a chance at victory. He hadn't even made it half way to the headquarters when he heard the barking of several dogs. _Kakashi's mutts_, Iruka thought. Somehow he had to lose the dogs. He caught sight of several barrels of some very strong wine lined up just outside a beerhouse right up front. He stabbed each one with his kunai as he passed by, spilling its contents all over the street. Maybe the pungent smell of wine would deter the dogs for a short while. Then again, maybe it won't. He cursed himself for not knowing the inner workings of some higher-level shinobi techniques. Nevertheless, he was grateful that even if he hasn't been in a life or death situation for so long, his instinct and skills hadn't dulled that much. Otherwise, he would be dead by now.

He only had a couple of blocks more before he reached the headquarters, but somehow he knew reaching it this easily would be too good to be true. And he was right for a couple of seconds later Kakashi had caught up with him and was now chasing him with dozens and dozens of shuriken. One grazed his shoulder, another one scratched his arm, and a couple more sliced his legs, but he did not slow down. In fact he increased his pace, and jumped up the nearest building, ready to spring himself forth towards Tsunade's window. But before he could even jump, Kakashi was but several feet away from him.

"Why do you try so hard to live, Iruka-sensei? You know I can't very well let you squeal to the great hokage," Kakashi said.

"I know that. I just thought I might as well try. Besides… I made a promise to Naruto that I'd treat him to ramen tomorrow. And I'll do everything I can to keep that promise," Iruka said.

Kakashi chuckled darkly. "Naruto? But Naruto's on a mission right now," Kakashi said.

"What?" Iruka asked, anger and bewilderment evident in his voice.

"Something wrong, Iruka-sensei? …You sure? You'd tell me if there's anything wrong, right?" he said, in the same tone of voice that Naruto used earlier that night.

Iruka felt like ice-cold water had just been dumped on his head. It wasn't Naruto he was talking to that night. It was Kakashi pretending to be Naruto. And to think he felt so guilty lying to the boy. He was so fumed by now that he charged Kakashi with everything he got, momentarily forgetting what he was supposed to do. "You bastard!" he screamed as he attacked.

Kakashi threw several more shuriken at him, but Iruka dodged them, and when he was about to strike at him, Kakashi took out two kunais and caught Iruka's kunai in the middle, and snatched it out of his hands. He quickly tried to stab Iruka on the chest, trying to end the battle then and there, but Iruka, now unarmed, shielded himself with his bandaged arms. It was the first time Kakashi noticed the sloppy bandages on his arms, and when he slashed them, he tore off most of the bandages, revealing to his sight several small self-inflicted slashes that were still very fresh and had started to bleed.

He hadn't noticed he was staring at them until Iruka hid them from his view and turned around and dashed towards Tsunade's window. Kakashi tried to move, he knew he should, but he found his feet too heavy. So he just reached for shurikens and threw it at Iruka, albeit sloppily and half-heartedly.

Iruka ran towards Tsunade's window like he'd never ran before. He was so shocked that his enemy had seen his wounds, and was sure it'd be the end of him. He remembered suddenly why he was running from Kakashi a while ago, and that was to warn Tsunade about him. That's why he ran. He almost let his anger get the better of him, and for a moment he lost sight of his true objective. But not anymore. He would get to Tsunade no matter what.

He concentrated all his remaining chakra onto his feet as he crouched low and jumped as high as he could so that he could reach Tsunade's window. '_Kakashi could definitely take me out mid-flight_,' he thought, but no onslaught of attacks came. He lunged forward and broke Tsunade's window. He rolled in the room, and when he looked up, desperate to tell Tsunade of Kakashi's betrayal, he found Tsunade lounging comfortably on her chair. She took one nonchalant peak at the badly wounded Iruka from behind her papers and muttered, "It's about time."


	3. A What?

Chapter 3: A What!

"Tsunade-sama! I have something to say to you," Iruka said, urgency evident in his voice, as he stood up and walked quickly towards Tsunade's table.

Tsunade waved a dismissive hand. "I know already," she said.

"You what!" Iruka asked.

"Kakashi come in," she called out, and Kakashi suddenly appeared perched on her windowsill, the same silly upturn of his visible eye.

Iruka immediately went into a fighting stance, but Tsunade stopped him. "Relax, Iruka. Kakashi hasn't betrayed Konoha," she explained.

"What do you mean?" Iruka asked, utter bewilderment evident on his tired face.

"What she means is…" Kakashi said as he reached one hand to his hitai-ate and smoothed the metal once more, and revealed the insignia of Konoha again.

"But… I don't understand!" Iruka said. "What does this all mean, Hokage-sama? Is this all some kind of a joke?"

"No it isn't, Iruka. Call it a simulation."

Iruka's anger was boiling to a point where he could almost wring Tsunade's neck. "A what! Simulation?" he protested. "With all due respect, hokage-sama," he said through gritted teeth. "This doesn't feel like a simulation to me," he said pointing to the nasty slash on his chest and the deep wound on his abdomen.

"Well, we wanted to put you in a life or death situation, and test your capabilities as a ninja. Just wanted to make sure if you teachers weren't growing rusty," she explained.

"Couldn't you have just warned me, so I could've at least dressed up for this 'simulation' of yours, hokage-sama," he complained.

Tsunade looked at him once more, and could barely stifle a small laugh. Iruka's hair was still damp and disheveled, and he was literally only wearing his boxers, which were now riding low on his waist and soaked with blood. "Did you just get out of the shower, Iruka-sensei?" she asked with much amusement.

Iruka nodded angrily.

Tsunade burst into peels of laughter. "You do have a point," she said in between laughs. "At least you had the presence of mind to put on some underwear," she said.

"I didn't realize this was so funny, hokage-sama. I thought I was going to die tonight. I might as well have died," Iruka said.

"I had no intention of killing you anyway, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi explained.

"He's right, Iruka. This was a test. I wanted to find out what you would do if you found one of your comrades had turned against the country. These are very tough times, Iruka. We need to be prepared for anything. But, as I said, this is only a simulation of a very likely possibility. Certainly, I did not want you dead," Tsunade explained further.

"Besides, don't you trust my precision hitting? I didn't hit any internal organs or anything like that at all," Kakashi said.

Iruka felt like the world had just conspired against him. He did not know if this was real or just a very cruel joke. Iruka sighed. "So, how did I do then? Did I fail? Would I have to take a make-up test for this then?" Iruka asked.

"No, not at all. You passed. Although I noticed you guys did quite a lot of damage outside. Don't worry, we will fund the repairs on your apartment, as well as those barrels you emptied," she told Iruka. "By the way, this testing is a very confidential matter, so as not to alert the other ninjas whom I'll be testing as well, is that clear Sir Iruka?" she asked.

"Yes, hokage-sama. But people would be wondering why I got so beat up, won't they?" he said.

"Oh yes, that. Well, tell them you fell down your roof when it collapsed," she explained.

Iruka was still very angry inside. '_So the hokage was watching all this time_.' Nevertheless, he managed his usual kind and mild-mannered mask and nodded in agreement.

"And you can go to the hospital to get those checked before you go home. You have a class tomorrow, remember?"

Iruka's eyebrow twitched with vexation. "Yes, hokage-sama," he said as he stepped out of the room.

"So, what did you think?" Tsunade asked Kakashi.

"He handled himself pretty well. I thought at first he'd surrender and just let me kill him, but then he fought back, and well, you saw what happened," he told her.

"And did you find out about the other thing?" she asked.

Kakashi's eye darkened. "No. Nothing. Even when I pretended to be Naruto, he insisted there was nothing wrong," he said. He then remembered the slashes on Iruka's arms. That was what Tsunade wanted him to find out. However, he thought it better to confront Iruka about them first, rather than reveal his secret to the hokage.

He had to admit he was quite startled when Tsunade told him he had a special mission that morning.

"_What special mission?"_

"_Treat this as a class T mission," Tsunade told him._

"_A class what? Class T?" Kakashi asked._

"_Yeah, a Class Tsunade mission."_

_Kakashi's droopy eye drooped even more. "Couldn't you have picked a better name for it?"_

_A cross-shaped vein appeared at Tsunade's temple. "It's none of your business, Hatake," she retorted. "Now," she began, her tone growing more serious, "Read this and we'll talk about it," she said handing him a folder, with a big, red, sign stamped across it that read, CLASS T MISSION._

"_Umino Iruka?" Kakashi asked upon reading the file. Inside was Iruka's file with information dating to as far back as his ninja academy days "Why him?" he asked._

"_I've been having a weird feeling about him since the moment I saw him. I think something might be wrong with_ _him. From what I've heard he used to be a vibrant, and mischievous little kid. Now, I just notice he's a bit more, hmm… shall we say subdued? I've asked around and from what I've gathered he has no real close friends, except maybe Naruto, and has a non-existent social life. It seems his life revolves around teaching students in the ninja academy, and nothing more."_

"_So the guy's a bit reclusive. So am I," Kakashi replied._

"_And look at you, you're pretty screwed up, that's for sure. Ever thought that maybe he's as screwed up as you?" Tsunade replied._

_Kakashi thought for a moment. "Point taken. So what your saying is this test will double as a way for me to find out his dirty, little secrets, am I right?"_

"_You got it," Tsunade said._

"_But what if he's got none? The guy seems amiable most of the time, always eager to help others out, workaholic bastard, too. Maybe that's just the way he is," Kakashi insisted._

"_Ah but, your forgetting one thing, Kakashi-sensei… the person who is always ready to answer the pleas of others, is most often than not, the one person whose cries of help are always left unheard." _

"Who knew that Tsunade had a philosophical bone in her body," Kakashi grumbled as he walked towards the emergency room of the hospital, where if he's lucky, he could still catch Iruka, and maybe try to make amends with the man.

He really didn't want to hurt the chuunin in any way. He had been hesitant, had thought of throwing the Class T mission in Tsunade's face, but he restrained himself since it was **his** mission and he **had **to do it. He almost backed out the moment he saw Iruka burst out of his bathroom, looking absolutely immaculate with his hair unbound and still dripping with water, his gorgeous chest bare and his abs rippling with every movement, the only article of clothing on him, his blue boxers riding enticingly low on his hips. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wished Iruka had come out with no clothes on.

Kakashi sighed. It seemed that for a short while now Kakashi had been eying the younger man. Okay, maybe quite a long while now. Ever since Kakashi first met him, when Iruka had confronted him about his trend of failing his students. He could never forget the anger and intense emotion burning in Iruka's deep brown eyes, and from that moment on he knew he had it bad.

At first he was content with just seeing him once or twice a week, but as time progressed, he wanted to see Iruka more often, sometimes he even made unscheduled trips to the ninja academy or to the mission room, in the pretense of finding a runaway Naruto who conveniently appears a few moments after. He knew Naruto couldn't resist the urge to go to his favorite teacher to ask for a free ramen meal at Ichiraku's, and so sometimes during practice session, he would forbid them to eat lunch and ask them to continue practicing. He would then pretend to sleep, and when Naruto sneaks away, he springs into action.

It also seemed that his dreams as of late turned sexual in nature. _Tangled limbs under the sheets, sweaty bodies and skin against skin, Iruka's sensual lips upon his own, Kakashi's hands running through shoulder-length silky brown hair, moans and pants that turn to screams of pleasure, the object of Kakashi's desires crying his name over and over again as he---_

Kakashi faked a cough. Thank goodness he wore a mask, or the blush on his face would be all too obvious. "Okay, enough thoughts about that now. Focus, Kakashi, focus," Kakashi reminded himself as he continued to walk.

Of course there were more pressing matters troubling Kakashi's mind, most especially those slashes he saw on Iruka's arms. It looked like the chuunin was hacking his flesh in the bathroom when he snuck into his apartment. He was deeply troubled with this revelation. "Tsunade's right. There is something seriously wrong with Iruka."

"You should be a little more careful, Iruka-sensei," the nurse giggled at the hospital emergency room. Iruka was surprised at the energetic and ditzy nurse, and just managed a sheepish smile on his face, and he hoped that it was believable enough to her. He must look like a big klutz right now, falling from a hole in his roof.

"I should never have waited that long to get that roof fixed," Iruka reasoned out.

"Well, the wound on your chest should start to heal within the next couple of days. This, however," she said, pointing towards the wound on his abdomen, "would probably make you feel very uncomfortable for weeks," the nurse informed him.

"It's not that serious anyway, is it?" he asked.

"Oh no. It's a good thing no vital organs were hit, or else you'd need more than three stitches," she said.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted. Iruka didn't even bother to look at the person's direction.

"Oh, what are you doing here, Kakashi-sensei?" the nurse asked.

"Was just passing by," Kakashi said, a very stupid reason, he realized. But then the nurse just smiled and flashed all her pearly white teeth, believing every word he said. When he walked towards Iruka's field of vision, Iruka saw that Kakashi held no telltale signs of the battle that just ensued, and Iruka felt a little bitter that he didn't even scratch the man.

"That's good then, you don't mind accompanying Iruka-sensei to his home tonight? He insists that he doesn't need---"

"That's not necessary," Iruka interrupted.

"I don't mind at all. You could suddenly collapse out in the street if you go home by yourself," Kakashi reasoned out.

"Yey!" the nurse squealed. "That's settled then. So, remember Iruka-sensei to change the bandages as often as possible. Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?" she asked, her unusually long eyelashes batting with the request.

"No. I still have a class early tomorrow. I have to prepare," he said.

She pouted. "Alright, if you say so."

Iruka staggered out of the building in a matching blue patient's clothes and a pair of slippers he loaned from the hospital, his blood-soaked boxers in a plastic bag. Kakashi was just a few steps behind.

"You sure you don't need me to …uh… assist you?" Kakashi said in a teasing tone.

"No," Iruka snapped at him.

"That nurse…" Kakashi began, "she seems smitten with you."

Iruka's frown deepened. Is this Kakashi's idea of small talk? Well, he wasn't to eager to converse with the person he thought was out to kill him just a while ago. "Oh? Funny I didn't notice that since I had all my attention on the gaping hole on my stomach," Iruka replied.

Kakashi chuckled. "Come on, Iruka-sensei. Why are you still mad? The test is over now, you can relax."

"Easy for you to say, you were the one trying to kill **me**," Iruka grumbled.

"Now, now, Iruka-sensei. There's no need to get angry. You **do** understand the purpose of the test, right?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka spun around to face Kakashi, who stopped dead in his tracks when he was almost nose-to-nose with a very irate Iruka. "Let me tell you something, Mr. High-and-mighty-jounin, yes I understand it quite well but it's not really that easy to accept what just happened especially when you're the one in the receiving end of that whole goddamn test!" Iruka said all in one breath.

Kakashi's one visible eye was wide with surprise at the sudden outburst of the chuunin. '_Wow_,' Kakashi thought, '_he looks so cute when he's angry_.'

"I've never seen you this angry before," Kakashi said with slight amusement in his voice.

Iruka's eyebrow twitched with vexation again. "Argh!" he growled and turned around, walking, or rather, staggering faster than before.

Kakashi quickened his pace a bit to catch up with Iruka. "Alright, alright. I admit Tsunade's methods are a bit harsh," Kakashi said.

Iruka gave him a death glare that would send any man to the farthest corners of the globe. Kakashi gave a nervous chuckle. "Okay then, so they are really harsh, and very disturbing. But I suppose she's the hokage. A very sadistic hokage, but still a hokage. She has to know what she's doing, right?" Kakashi said.

Iruka fell silent for a while. After a few paces, he spoke again. "So, impersonating Naruto, was it her idea or yours?" he asked.

Kakashi scratched his head guiltily. "That would be me," he said, but quickly regretting his confession when Iruka walked even faster, "But…" Kakashi began as he caught up with Iruka again, "it seemed like a fairly logical strategy to use Naruto against you, well, you being like a mo- I mean, father to the kid. You really can't help it. An enemy could exploit your relationship with him at any moment," Kakashi reasoned out.

Iruka sighed and combed his hand through his hair. "Your right," he finally admitted. "It's just that…" he began, stopping again and turning slightly to Kakashi's direction.

Kakashi stopped dead in his tracks. He was startled with the deeply gloomy expression in Iruka's face. Suddenly it wasn't so impossible for him that Iruka would inflict pain on himself. He always saw the younger ninja to be so cheerful and vibrant, that's why he had been attracted to him in the first place – he seemed almost too perfect for him. But now, now that he had a glimpse of another side of Iruka, a side that was dark and at the same time very vulnerable, he found that Iruka was flawed after all, and the idea only made his feelings for the man increase tenfold.

"…Well, I … never mind," Iruka said before turning back around and walking up to the stairs towards his apartment.

Kakashi didn't even realize they were already in front of his apartment. Iruka was about to tell him something important damn it! Why did he back out all of a sudden? "So… does that mean you won't be harboring any bad feelings?" He asked, an all too eager tone in his voice.

"I… need some rest," Iruka just said, without even turning around to look at Kakashi.

Kakashi watched from the foot of the stairs as Iruka disappeared into the dark apartment and closed the door. Somehow he loathed himself for even accepting the mission, but at the same time he knew he couldn't have refused the hokage. Yet, he felt he wounded the chuunin more on the inside than out, and he could never forgive himself for that.

TBC

AN: Hello. Sorry it took so long. I tend to prioritize updating the AFF version of this fic. If you want you can check it out there. I think I got out 5 chapters there already. That version is a bit more adult than this... but nothing too serious. Thanks to tsukiraven for reminding me to update here. I'm really busywith school right now (got exams every week andtons of papers... argh, I hate school!)so the fic is currently collecting dust. Again. I'mreally sorry for not being able to update. I am planning on revising first before I add more terrible mistakes in the fic. But anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter... well, until next time (which is, hopefully, not so far from now).

somnambulist dreams :)


	4. You Don't Have to be Alone

Hi! I'm almost too ashamed to be posting this. It's taken me so long to post. It's a classic case of anything and everything going absolutely wrong for me. Rest assured, I am back from the dead and continuing this story. Please gift me with your patience and understanding (even if it's more than I deserve). Anyway, I will not delay things any longer. Here it is:

Disclaimer: Naruto and all of its characters, names, etc. are NOT mine. If they were, there'd be more Kakashi-Iruka going on, if you know what I mean.

CHAPTER 4: You Don't Have to be Alone

Iruka closed the door behind him and noticed that his apartment was freezing. He opened the lights and the gaping hole in his roof looked even worse than he thought it did. There was dust and rubble all over his living room. "This has got to be one of the worst days of my life," he said as he sluggishly walked towards his bedroom.

He opened the door, turned the lights on, and grimaced at the sight of his broken window, his lamp riddled with shurikens, and his study table lying in smithereens on the floor. Then there was this distinct sound of gushing water.

"Oh crap!" Iruka gasped as he staggered to his bathroom as soon as he could. There was water on the floor outside his bathroom and he almost slipped. He turned the lights on in the bathroom, and found his bathtub overflowing with water, his shower on full volume. He splashed his feet on the flooded tiles and turned the shower off. As his luck would have it, the plug on his tub fell on the drain, and caused a major flood. He would have to mop his bedroom and bathroom floor before he slept lest the water seep into the floorboards and make the wood rot. "Okay, this IS the worst day of my life."

By the next morning, Iruka felt like crap. He spent all night trying to fix his apartment. He had mopped his floor, covered his broken window with some plastic, and took one of his sheets and covered his ceiling with it as well. He discarded his lamp, as well as pieces of wood that used to be his table. He swept the dust off of his living room floor and got rid of all the rubble. By the time he was finished, he only had an hour and a half to sleep before he would wake up again and prepare for class.

He watched with hooded eyes as his students took a pop quiz. He knew it was unfair to give the kids a quiz but he wasn't really feeling very well. The wound on his stomach hurt like hell every time he moved. He thought he had a fairly good tolerance to pain, but this wound was almost unbearable.

"A- Konohamaru, what are you doing?" He said when he noticed the mischievous young boy playing with something under his desk.

"Nothing, Iruka-sensei," the boy lied.

"_Konohamaru…" _Iruka said, his voice foreboding. "…Give it to me."

The boy stood up, and reluctantly went to his teacher's table. He hid the item behind his back and refused to look at Iruka.

"Come on now," Iruka urged.

Konohamaru quickly handed it to him and ran just as quickly back to his chair.

Iruka looked at the item he held in his hand and frowned. "A water balloon?" he said. 'Why did he look so guilty, then?' he thought.

"Oi, Iruka-sensei," someone called out to him in an all too giddy tone of voice.

Iruka feared the worst, and as he turned to look at the direction of the door, he felt like all the blood drained from his face. There, peeking from behind the door and waving like an overly eager fan girl, was Kakashi-sensei.

A distinct sound of something that just popped got Iruka's attention, and when he looked down, a look of pure horror registered on his face as he noticed two things: one, that he had unconsciously popped the water balloon in his hand; and two, the balloon wasn't filled with water, but with black paint.

Instantly, the whole class roared with laughter at the sight of their teacher with splatters of paint on his face and all over his clothes.

"Alright, alright. Keep quiet and finish your quiz. If anyone dares to sneak out again, I will make sure you have quizzes every day for the rest of the week. Got that?" he threatened. The laughter died down to suppressed giggles. Iruka walked out of the classroom, and the children burst into laughter again.

Iruka frowned as he passed by the chuckling jounin beside the door on his way to the restroom.

Kakashi instantly stopped laughing when Iruka ignored him completely. "Hey, Iruka-sensei!" He called out as he followed the rather stressed-out teacher towards the restroom.

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei? Have you come to laugh at me some more?" Iruka said as he started to scrub the paint off of his arm.

"You have to admit, that was pretty funny," Kakashi said as he started to laugh again, but was stopped by the glare he received from the chuunin. "Okay, I just came here to tell you that I'll be coming over at your apartment tonight."

"Coming over? What is it this time? Part 2 of the test?" Iruka protested.

"No, no. Nothing like that at all. I can see you're still angry with us… that's why I'm telling you that I'm coming over… since if I came unannounced, you might think I'm there to assassinate you again. Anyway, the reason is Hokage-sama told me to help you fix your apartment, and of course, to show you that I'm really not out to kill you, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi reasoned out.

"Are you serious?" Iruka asked.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Kakashi said, his visible eye curving upwards.

"I can never tell anyway," Iruka mumbled.

"So, is that a 'yes'?"

"You'd still come even if I said 'no'," Iruka said.

"Exactly. Great, then I'll come at seven."

"Whatever you say," Iruka just said.

"I'm bringing the stuff to fix your place. Oh, and dinner's on you, alright?" Kakashi asked, but vanished soon after without waiting for Iruka's reply.

Iruka let out an exasperated sigh. He walked back to the classroom and sighed again upon opening the door. The classroom was empty, and quiz papers were scattered everywhere. "Looks like today's going to be a loooong day."

Iruka looked at the wall clock for the nth time that night from where he sat in the dining room. He had resorted to using the dining room since the living room wasn't very inhabitable at the moment. He noticed with quite a frustrated sigh that it was already 10:25 in the evening.

"Seven my ass," he snorted as he continued to check the papers. His head was starting to ache, especially right after he checked Konohamaru's paper, which had little doodles for answers, and a very interesting drawing of a paint-soaked, jaw-slacked Iruka at the top of the paper.

He heard a small rumbling sound and noticed that his stomach was complaining. 'Ohhh… I knew it was a bad idea to wait for him to arrive before I ate my dinner.'

Deciding that the notoriously unpunctual Kakashi-sensei would probably not come at all, Iruka stood up and walked out of the dining room and into the kitchen. 'Maybe it was for the best that Kakashi didn't come,' Iruka thought. After recalling that Kakashi knew about his dark secret, he thought that he'd rather not talk about it with the man. 'Although if he does decide to squeal on me, I really don't have a choice,' he thought. 'But…' he said as he stopped in front of the refrigerator. 'Kakashi-sensei doesn't seem to be one to go blab about other people's secrets Maybe, he'll just forget about it and keep it to himself…' he thought.

"Oh, who am I kidding. It's Kakashi-sensei. He's probably going to use this to make my life even more of a living hell," Iruka said.

Opening the refrigerator door and removing the take-out dinner he bought more than four hours before, he decided to reheat it to finally get something inside his stomach. He took the noodles out of the packaging and placed it on a pan.

"I bet he even enjoyed every second of that 'test'. I should've probably just punched that sadistic bastard on the face," he thought out loud as he moved to the stove by the window, and when he looked out, he saw the said masked face directly in front of his.

"Ghah!" He gasped, stumbling backwards in sheer surprise. The pan flew from his hand, and Iruka grabbed it as quickly as he could, and saving almost all of its contents from ending up on the floor. He set the pan down and looked at the window again. There was no mistaking it. Kakashi was perched on his windowsill, his masked face and both his hands pressing against the glass.

"Hey, nice catch. Didn't scare you too much, did I?" he teased.

Iruka frowned. "What the heck are you doing there anyway? You could've used the door!" he protested.

"But I just love seeing that look of pure shock on your face. So, are you going to let me in?"

Iruka let out an exasperated sigh. He opened the window and Kakashi jumped in the kitchen. "I swear, you just live to torture me, don't you?" Iruka accused.

Kakashi raised his hands defensively. "Not at all. This isn't even what I would consider torture, Iruka-sensei," he said, his visible eye gleaming with mischief.

Iruka rolled his eyes and proceeded to reheat the food on the stove.

"So… is that dinner?" he asked.

"Yes…," Iruka said, "What took you so long, anyway? I've been waiting for more than three hours already."

"Aww… was Iruka-sensei excited to see little, old me?" he teased.

"Don't flatter yourself, Kakashi-sensei. I haven't eaten yet, and I'm starving," Iruka explained.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "You haven't eaten yet? Did you wait for me?"

"I think that would be obvious by now," Iruka said, stirring the noodles in the pan.

"That's just so sweet, Iruka-sensei. I didn't know you cared that much for me."

"I don't," came Iruka's deadpanned reply.

"So, as a token of my appreciation," Kakashi said, completely ignoring Iruka's words, "and well, as a peace offering too, here's some sake. Let's drink while we eat, or while we fix your apartment," Kakashi said, pulling out a couple of bottles of sake from inside his vest.

Iruka blinked as he stared at the bottles of sake sitting at the countertop. How did he manage to hide those bottles in his vest anyway? Iruka shook his head slightly. "Drink? But it's a school day tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei. I don't want to teach with a hangover."

"Don't be such a wuss, Iruka-sensei."

"A wuss?" Iruka asked, a cross-shaped vein appearing on his temple, and the thought of punching Kakashi seemed to be very appealing at the moment.

"Hey, it's not like you're going to get drunk. You could handle your alcohol right? Besides, you look like you need it," he said.

"Fine," Iruka sighed. The idea of drinking didn't seem all that bad at the moment. Besides, he knew there was no arguing with this man right now.

Moments later, Iruka found himself enthusiastically eating dinner across the table from Kakashi who had conveniently brought his Icha Icha Paradise and was reading it while eating, and using it at the same time to cover his face from Iruka's gaze.

Iruka was so hungry that he didn't notice the jounin staring at him, his eye peeking just above the little book. When he looked up from his plate, he saw the jounin had barely touched his food.

"What's wrong Kakashi-sensei? Don't you like the food?" Iruka asked.

"Oh, sure, sure. It's perfect. I was just so amused by you," Kakashi said.

"Huh?" Iruka said, his eyes wide like saucers.

"I didn't know you could eat as much as Naruto does when he's eating ramen."

Iruka blushed slightly from embarrassment. "I was just really very hungry, that's all," he reasoned out.

Kakashi smiled behind his book and resumed eating his food. It amused him that he found everything about this man so endearing. The way he would gobble up those noodles in his mouth, which Kakashi bet was a very talented mouth, and the way his cheeks flushed whenever he was embarrassed, which he could easily picture in an entirely different and more intimate setting.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi snapped out of his trance and noticed the very person inside his thoughts looking at him curiously.

"What were you saying?" Kakashi asked.

"I was asking you how you intended to help me fix my apartment without any materials," Iruka asked.

"Materials? Oh. Right. Don't worry about them. The reason I was so late was I actually went to the hardware store before I came here."

"Right," Iruka said sarcastically.

"I'm being honest. The materials are at your doorstep, we could get them later."

Iruka felt his eyebrow twitch. "At my doorstep?"

"Yeah, I placed it there before I went to your kitchen window," Kakashi explained.

"So, you went out of your way just to play tricks on me? Heh, I should've known," Iruka mumbled.

"Aww, come on Iruka-sensei, you make me sound like such a terrible person," he said casually before sipping some of his sake.

"I don't know why this would surprise you, Kakashi-sensei. First of all, you insult me every chance you get. You call me "Naruto's mommy," and you tell Naruto all sorts of stuff, and I have to deal with the results. Why, just the other day he asked me what you meant when the two boys were fighting and you said that Naruto should just service Sasuke and get it over with. I had to spend all afternoon doing damage control without telling him what you really meant," he ranted.

Kakashi chuckled. "Well, you have to admit, that was pretty funny."

"You even go to the Ninja Academy and the Mission Room pretending to look for Naruto, but you just go there to make fun of me and make my day miserable."

"Now, now, Iruka-sensei. You've got this all wrong…" Kakashi tried to explain. He replaced his mask and dropped his book on the table. 'Reading that now might not be such a good idea,' he thought.

"You disguised as Naruto to trick me, and last night, I thought for sure you were going to kill me. Now, tell me Kakashi-sensei, what DID I get wrong?"

Kakashi scratched his head. "Hmm… well now that you've said all that… It does seem like I am pretty harsh on you… but the reason being… I mean, I… I don't exactly do it on purpose, you know, the insulting part."

The uneasiness in Kakashi's voice startled Iruka a bit. It was quite out of the jounin's character to be acting like this. "What do you mean you don't do it on purpose?"

"What I'm trying to say is… ah, how do I put this… I'm not really very sociable and… I guess I say the wrong things more often than not. I don't do it intentionally… it just comes out," he explained. 'And of course, I just get so frickin' tongue tied when I'm around you that I don't know what else to say,' Kakashi thought. 'But you'd probably freak out if I tell you that.' Kakashi smiled inwardly.

Iruka was once again rendered speechless by Kakashi's peculiar actions. But, before he could ponder more about the subject, the jounin started chuckling again.

"I never thought I affected you so much Iruka-sensei, I'm so flattered," he teased. When he saw that Iruka was about to explode, he stood up from his seat and reached for the sake bottle. "But let's not talk about this now. Have some more sake, Iruka-sensei," he said pouring some more sake in Iruka's cup.

Iruka blinked and decided to just let it go. He found Kakashi's behavior puzzling. For a moment there, Iruka thought Kakashi was about to say he's sorry, and then poof… he was back to his old demeanor. He sighed. 'I should've thought this would go nowhere,' he thought. "If I had known better, I would say you're trying to get me drunk, Kakashi-sensei," he said before taking a sip.

Kakashi chuckled. "No, no, of course not. I just thought that maybe if you were a little tipsy, you won't be so irate… and of course, it'd be easier to get you in bed with me."

Iruka sprung from his chair, nearly knocking it over, and spewed out the sake he had just sipped. "WHAT!" he gasped.

Kakashi broke into fits of laughter. "You should've seen the look on your face, Iruka-sensei!" He said in between laughs.

Iruka's cheeks grew red with embarrassment once again as he wiped the sake from his chin. Of course it was a joke, what else could it have been, right? He sat back down on his chair and grumbled when he noticed the laughing still didn't cease. "It wasn't that funny," he said with a small pout that Kakashi thought made him look absolutely adorable.

"Did you actually think I wasn't kidding, hmm?" Kakashi teased.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not interested in you in that way, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said.

"Oh?" Kakashi said. "What a shame then… you would've enjoyed my company," he said, winking his visible eye at Iruka.

"Would you stop this already? I'm not like you. I'm straight!" Iruka defended.

"Sure you are," said Kakashi sarcastically.

Iruka let out an exasperated sigh, which seemed like he has been doing quite often lately. "Fine. You can keep indulging in your delusions all you want. Can we just continue eating so that we could start fixing my apartment?"

"Whatever you say. Although if you DO change your mind…"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka scolded.

"Yes teacher, I'll be quiet," Kakashi said with a chuckle. "But… it's just that I've been such a very bad boy… aren't you going to punish me sir?" he added, making sure to make his voice sound a little younger.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Iruka nearly screamed, earning for himself a jounin howling with laughter.

The night went on, and before Iruka knew it, they were sitting on the living room floor surrounded by several empty bottles of sake. Every time they would finish a bottle, Kakashi would miraculously produce another one from inside his vest. All thoughts of fixing the apartment vanished from their alcohol-saturated minds.

"Why d'ya bring s-so many b-bottles, Kakazhi-senzei?" Iruka slurred.

Kakashi replaced the mask over his face and placed his favorite book on his knee. He leaned closer to the chuunin sitting across from him until they are almost nose-to-nose. "It's a known fact that drunkenness significantly lowers a person's inhibitions, making interrogations a lot easier," Kakashi explained, the clarity of his voice revealing just how far from drunk he is.

"Huh?" Iruka asked. His brain felt more like mush and he didn't understand a word Kakashi had just said.

"So… tell me, Iruka, why do you do it?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"This," Kakashi said before he took one of Iruka's hands and pushed the black sleeve of his uniform up to his elbow. He turned the hand palm-up to reveal the slashes on the man's arm.

Iruka looked at the wounds intently as if seeing them for the first time. "Oh. That," Iruka said.

"So, Iruka, why DO you do it? Why?" Kakashi asked again. He looked back down at Iruka's arm as his own fingers lightly traced each wound. His gaze returned to Iruka once more only to find him fast asleep and even snoring lightly.

"Oh great," Kakashi said. He stared at Iruka's sleeping face. His face was flushed from all the alcohol, and his mouth was slightly open. He looked so innocent when he was asleep. Like a little kid. This time, it was Kakashi's turn to sigh.

He stood up and, as gently as he could, he lifted Iruka and carried him to the bedroom bridal style. "Too bad you're asleep. There are about a couple dozen jokes I could tease you with right now."

Kakashi carefully placed Iruka on his bed. He removed the chuunin's shoes, and struggled to get his vest off as well. Then he covered him with a blanket and sat down beside him for a while. "You know… you don't have to do this," he said. "There are a lot of people who care for you, Iruka. If those people ever find out you're hurting yourself like this, they would be deeply hurt as well," he paused, waiting for a reply that he knew would not come. He then noticed Iruka's tightly bound hair and thought that he would be more comfortable sleeping with it loose. "Well, that and the fact that you're just too gorgeous with your hair down," Kakashi thought out loud. He reached for Iruka's hitai-ate and removed it. He then removed the bind on Iruka's hair, and his breath hitched as the shiny strands spilled wonderfully on the white pillow, making Iruka look more divine than he normally is. "You're just a livin', breathin' wet dream, aren't you, Iruka?" he asked, thinking of all the times he's imagined running his hands through Iruka's hair in his fantasies.

"What did you say?" came Iruka's reply.

Kakashi's heart almost stopped when he heard his voice. "You're awake all this time, Iruka?"

"No… I just woke up… what are we doing in here?" Iruka asked groggily.

"You fell asleep in the living room. I brought you here," Kakashi replied.

"Oh. You did?"

Not wanting to waste this opportunity, as well as all those bottles of sake they consumed, he began his interrogation again. "So, Iruka, about what I asked you a while ago…"

"About this?" Iruka asked, rubbing his right hand over the wounds on his left arm. "Aah… I guess you'd have to ask sooner or later… If I tell you… could you…uh…" Iruka trailed on.

"Could I what?" Kakashi urged.

"Could you… just keep this to yourself. It's not something I want Naruto or the other kids to find out."

"Sure…" Kakashi replied, thinking it was so characteristically Iruka to think of Naruto and his other students before anything else.

"I just… I do it because…" Iruka began, the conflicting emotions evident on his face. "Well, the pain… makes me feel alive," Iruka confessed.

"But you don't need this to feel alive, Iruka," Kakashi immediately told him.

"The sting of cutting… takes my mind off of all the pain I feel in here…" he said, bringing a hand to his chest.

Kakashi reached for the hand Iruka placed on his chest, and covered it with his own. "You don't have to do this. You don't need this," he repeated.

Iruka snatched his hand away from Kakashi's hold. "How could you know what I need? What I feel?"

"I know what you must be feeling. You're not the only one who's hurting Iruka…"

"Oh?" Iruka said disbelievingly.

"What would it take for you to believe me? Do you need proof? Proof that this is all unnecessary? Proof that your life is not as worthless as you think?"

"I…" Iruka began, but couldn't find the right words, his eyes gazing intently at those wounds on his arms.

Seeing the troubled expression on Iruka's face made the jounin's heart break. Kakashi was starting to feel like it was impossible for him to help Iruka. He could think of only one way, one way for Iruka to finally open up to him completely and allow Kakashi to help him, to make him realize just what a wonderful person he is. And that was for Kakashi to open up completely to him first.

"Look at me Iruka," Kakashi said, the tone of his voice turning deadly serious.

Iruka brought his gaze back to Kakashi's face. His eyes grew wide at what the jounin was doing. He had pushed his forehead protector up, revealing his sharingan eye. Iruka stared at his mismatched eyes and was mesmerized.

"Do you feel like you're trapped, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked, bringing one hand to his mask and slowly started pulling it down.

"Like the walls of your world are closing in on you?" Kakashi continued, brining his mask down further.

"And your life is choking you ever so slowly towards your impending death?"

Kakashi said before finally removing the rest of his mask.

"I'm here, Iruka. I can help you. You don't have to be alone."

Iruka almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. Kakashi's face, unrestricted by any mask, those eyes, mismatched in color, but each with their own fiery intensity, that wonderfully shaped nose, and those soft, inviting lips uttering words of comfort to him. Words he never knew he needed so badly.

"If you let me in, you'll never have to be alone anymore."

Kakashi leaned closer and closed the gap between their lips.

A/N:

Yeah. I know. Does it sound crappy to you? Or Just Ok? Should I even bother continuing? Comments, Suggestions, Violent Reactions are welcome. You can bitch all you want about how ugly this fic is, I won't mind. A review is a review. Everyone's entitled to his or her own opinion.

For those who have read this fic in AFF, I'm so so sorry. I'm probably going to continue this fic here, since I'm so out of the loop (having been internet-deprived for so long since my PC crashed, but now I've finally warmed up to using my laptop. Yey!) and I just can't figure out how to return to the AFF site (stupid, stupid me!). So if you could just tell me, that'd be really grrreat!

Again, I am so, so sorry. I've finally gone back to writing this fic after so long. May I just remind you that these chapters are only part of the first draft, and therefore, have never been checked for errors or revised in the least. So, I will be doing some revisions of the chapters I've already made coz I can't stand all the stupid mistakes I've made. If you could be kind enough to point out some errors, or give me new ideas, that'd be really great. I just hope someone would still be interested in reading this after I've literally abandoned it for several months.

Sincerely,

Somnambulist dreams


	5. Four Words

Hi. If you've seen this on aff, this isn't a new chapter. Sorry. It's been revised a little though. Next one will be out in a week or two. See A/N at the bottom for more details. 

Disclaimer: I'm not filthy rich and I don't own Naruto or any other characters in the anime. I'm not gettin' any money from doin' this either, awright? 'Coz if I did own Naruto, there'd surely be more half naked guys, and lots more Kakairu action going on… hehehe.

CHAPTER 5: Four Words

"If you let me in, you'll never have to be alone anymore."

Kakashi leaned closer and closed the gap between their lips.

Kakashi closed his eyes as he felt something inside of him explode as he finally felt Iruka's soft lips on his. The anticipation- all those moments of hoping, of dreaming to achieve this one moment, swirled together and threatened to overflow inside of him- all because of this one perfect kiss. If one kiss is all he'll ever have, if one kiss is the only thing he'll get to share with this man- then so be it. He'll remember this divinely wonderful feeling for the rest of his life.

His eyes grew wide when he felt Iruka's arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer. He sighed mentally. In all honesty, Kakashi had been scared shitless that the chuunin would reject him. But all his doubts and anxieties vanished when the man lying beneath him began to respond to his kiss.

For a brief moment they were content with the sweet and gentle kiss they shared, but when Iruka held Kakashi tighter, and arched his body towards him, Kakashi lost what little control he had left. Kakashi deepened the kiss and released all the hunger and passion he held inside of him. His hands moved of their own accord, searching for the smoothness of Iruka's skin, needing the warmth of his flesh against his own.

Kakashi broke the kiss and stared straight into Iruka's eyes. Those once uncertain orbs were now filled with passion and lust. Only for him. Kakashi couldn't help but smirk. He wanted this so badly… and looks like Iruka did too. "Let's lose these…" he began, tugging at Iruka's black undershirt, "…and these, too," he continued, moving his hand down and tracing the waistband of Iruka's pants with one finger.

Iruka shuddered with anticipation and blushed even harder. "You're the one who's fully dressed, not me," Iruka said, giving his own tug at Kakashi's vest.

"Eager to see the goods, huh, Iruka?"

"Just stop talking and get on with it already," Iruka said impatiently.

The smirk on Kakashi's face widened. That's the feisty Iruka he liked.

Kakashi moved away slightly to get rid of his vest. He threw it somewhere in the room and proceeded to remove his shirt. He took more time than necessary lest he'd look overly eager, which was really what he was right now. The moment he got his shirt off, he hissed in pleasure as he felt Iruka's hands touch his chest lightly. His teasing hands ghosted over his nipples before moving down to trace the well-defined muscles of Kakashi's abdomen.

"No fair, Iruka. It's your turn to take off your shirt…" he said as he leant over some more to whisper in his ear, and effectively trapping Iruka's hands between their bodies. "…and my turn to feel more of you," he continued, licking the shell of Iruka's ear and moving lower to place gentle kisses on his neck.

Iruka let out a sound that was a mix of a whimper and a moan, and Kakashi thought he could get addicted to hearing all the sounds he could possibly make.

"So?" Kakashi inquired when Iruka chose not to reply.

"I can't… take my shirt off… with you crushing me… to the mattress like this," came Iruka's broken reply.

Kakashi's eyes grew wide momentarily. He could feel himself blushing as he moved away from Iruka once more. "Heh, didn't realize it," he said with a sheepish smile, that faded into a serious expression once Iruka started to pull his shirt up. He watched intently revealing his slender waist, then his washboard stomach, then the smooth expanse of his chest.

Before Iruka could even remove his shirt entirely, Iruka let out another loud moan as Kakashi latched his lips onto a nipple, and sucked hard. "Kakashi… ahhh… let me… get this off… first," he said, pertaining to the shirt stuck on his shoulders and neck.

Kakashi reached for the shirt and with one swift jerk, he pulled it off completely, earning a yelp of surprise from Iruka. He couldn't help but chuckle lightly as he moved on to the other nipple, giving it equal attention.

"Kakashi please…" Iruka breathed out.

He raised his head to look back at Iruka's flushed face. "Tell me what you want, Iruka," he said.

"What I want?" Iruka asked tentatively.

"Yes. Tell me what you--- Ahhh!" Kakashi moaned when he felt one of Iruka's hands slide further down in between their bodies to lightly rub against his crotch.

"I want this," Iruka said, a smirk of his own grazing his lips.

Kakashi moaned again when Iruka moved his hand, giving such delicious friction to a part of his anatomy that was already agonizingly hard even without the added incentive. In the haze of his lust, Kakashi managed to chuckle. "I didn't know you were so forward, Iruka."

"That's only the beginning, Kakashi," Iruka whispered sensually in his ear.

Kakashi thought it was just a miracle that he didn't lose it right there. He felt like he could explode any moment, and dreaded he might suffer the embarrassment of shooting his load in his pants before anything really interesting even happened. Normally, he would last longer than this. But, damn it! This was Iruka!

His lovely hair, his soft skin, his delicious mouth, and his captivating eyes that gazed back at him with so much fire and emotion. This is the man he's been pining after for so long. The figure in all of his dreams and fantasies. The only person that could possibly send him down on his knees. The only person he truly lo---

"Oh, I love you Iruka," Kakashi voiced out his thoughts before he could even realize it. Then his face paled with horror when what he said finally clicked. 'Oh shit! Oh shit! I love him? What the fuck was that? I'm going to scare him off!' His mind screamed.

And when his still hazy mind registered the look of sheer surprise on Iruka's face, he felt his body growing numb. He didn't intend for that to slip out. He didn't even know if he meant it. But now that's it's out, and with Iruka looking at him like what he just said was the most ridiculous thing in the world, he suddenly wished he had his mask back to hide the pain of embarrassment and rejection that was probably oozing from his face right now.

But, then came a sweet smile.

And a light kiss on his nose.

And then a soft voice that said:

"I love you too, Kakashi."

Kakashi's eyes shot wide open, confusion and uncertainty flooding his senses. He sat up and looked around his familiar surroundings. Wasn't he--- hadn't he---? He shook his head and looked around the room just to be sure. He sighed in disappointment. He was back in his own apartment, in his own bed, with no sign of Iruka anywhere. He sighed in disappointment. So, it was just another dream.

He leaned on the headboard and crossed his arms on his chest as he tried to sort his thoughts out. Somehow, at the back of his mind, he knew it was just a dream. "That explains why everything was going so fast, and why Iruka was THAT willing," he thought aloud. Then he frowned when he recalled the last part of his dream. "I love you Iruka?" he scoffed. "I swear that sounded so puppy love-ish. I don't really LOVE Iruka, do I?" He asked himself.

He always thought his attraction to Iruka was purely on the physical level. "After all, Iruka's hot. He looks so adorable when he's angry, and even more adorable when he's embarrassed. He's intelligent and much more talented than the other ninjas of his rank. And he's also very feisty. He'd never back down against a far stronger opponent. He's kind and caring, and he's very passionate about his work and those little devils he teaches. He---" Kakashi caught himself before he said anything else that would just disprove his 'only on the physical level' theory.

His brows furrowed. "Okay, I'm getting more confused by the moment," he said. "Am I actually in love with Iruka? Hmm…" he paused.

He's never actually been in love before, so how would he know if what he was feeling for Iruka was IT? Well, there's the fact that he couldn't get his mind off of Iruka and the way his eyes burn with fervor every time they fought, and how the redness would spread across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose every time he blushed, and how his face would seem like it was glowing every time he smiled. Those images were burned at the back of Kakashi's eyelids, haunting him wherever he went.

Kakashi thought it was also true that he felt this insatiable yearning to always be close to Iruka. And in those moments when Iruka was close, he would wish he had the power to stop time and just live in those moments with him for all eternity.

Kakashi stuck his tongue out in disgust. "That almost sounded too cheesy," he chuckled lightly. "But…" he stopped and sighed as the mirth on his face slowly subsided. "…do those things constitute love already?" he thought as he reached his hand up and rubbed the tip of his nose, where the Iruka in his dreams had kissed him.

'I love you too, Kakashi,' the words rang inside his head.

"Because if I'm not in love with him… then why do I want the real Iruka to say those words so badly?" he said thoughtfully.

"Maybe… I…" he said, but was cut short the moment he recalled something Iruka had said the night before. And those words were nowhere near what he dreamed Iruka had said. He frowned. "How could those four words hurt so much?"

Yes, now he remembered what happened the night before very clearly. After he had kissed Iruka last night, Iruka had said four words that felt like acid. And to think those words weren't even that harsh, really. 'It was just the way he said it,' Kakashi thought. 'Like he was really sure. Like it was something infallible.'

He looked up the ceiling and envisioned the scene exactly as it had occurred. With hands clutching the sheets, and eyes staring straight into Kakashi's, Iruka uttered,

"I don't need this."

Kakashi felt like he was going to puke. He went out on a limb, and gave Iruka more than just his help, but his trust as well. He placed his emotions on the line, which proved very difficult for him since displaying his feelings did not come naturally for him. Despite all of these, Iruka still replied, "I don't need this," and shoved it back at his face like all of it was worthless.

"I've never been rejected like that before, and it just had to be Iruka," he said with a bitter smile.

He sat on his bed for a few more moments as he tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings once more.

"He's probably not going to want to talk to me anytime soon," he thought out loud. But, he remembered just how Iruka looked before he left last night. Iruka's beautiful face was contorted in an expression of anguish and confusion. Kakashi would be downright heartless if he just left things the way they were.

Then, a glint of something sitting on his side table caught his eye. He turned to his side and noticed a single kunai. It looked well used, with several nicks here and there. It looked like any other ordinary kunai. But Kakashi knew exactly what that small weapon was.

It was Iruka's.

Kakashi had retrieved it after Iruka had dropped it during the 'test' thinking that the weapon might still hold some use in the future. It was the same kunai Iruka was using to slash his wrists, and the same kunai he used to defend himself against Kakashi that night. 'How ironic,' he thought. 'The weapon he was using to slowly kill himself, was the same weapon he used to save his life.'

And then, it hit him. He couldn't believe he only realized it now. "When he thought I was going to kill him, he did his best to stay alive so that he can protect Naruto," he said.

He could hear Iruka's voice in his head clearly.

"You bastard. I'll do everything I can so that you won't ever have to lay a hand on Naruto again," Iruka growled.

"He was very angry then," Kakashi said. "And even angrier when he found out I copied Naruto to trick him."

"I know that. I just thought I might as well try. Besides… I made a promise to Naruto that I'd treat him to ramen tomorrow. And I'll do everything I can to keep that promise," Iruka said.

Kakashi chuckled darkly. "Naruto? But Naruto's on a mission right now," Kakashi said.

"What?" Iruka asked, anger and bewilderment evident in his voice.

"Something wrong, Iruka-sensei? …You sure? You'd tell me if there's anything wrong, right?" he said, in the same tone of voice that Naruto used earlier that night.

"You bastard!" Iruka screamed.

"That may just be the key," Kakashi said thoughtfully. 'I might just be able to pull this off.'

With that thought in mind, he retrieved his old determination and self-confidence, and casting his bruised ego and his emotions aside, he got up from his bed and started to formulate a new strategy to help Iruka. And maybe if he could see Iruka again and maybe talk to him and get some things cleared out, he'd know for sure whether he was actually in love with him or not.

"I've been going at this all wrong," he thought out loud. "This is not just some mission. This is Iruka, and I'll be damned if I don't succeed."

A/N:

Hi. Again I'm really sorry it took so long. I should actually be studying right now for this huge exam I have on Tuesday, but I just had to sneak an update since I haven't updated for an eternity. I corrected some tiny errors here and there, but please forgive me for the others I've missed. I know there are some errors in this fic that are just unforgivable, if you could point them out, maybe volunteer to be my editor or something, I would really be grateful seeing as I am just itching to revise the whole thing.

For those of you who have seen this fic in aff, I will be continuing it there as well (finally!). Yes. You read it right. I will be updating the fic both here and in aff, although due to the hell I call "college," it would probably take me at least a month to get the next chapters up.

Thanks to those who have cursed me over the months for not updating but have nevertheless stayed to read whatever I came up with. My fear of your wrath pushes me to write on. But seriously, I appreciate those who still read my stuff (and give reviews or emails, of course) despite my total inability to update regularly. So as a thank you, I will be putting the next chapter up in a week or two, seeing as I have had it shelved inside my laptop for months already. The next chapter should clarify a few things that some people might find confusing in this chapter.

Hope you still stick with me,

Somnambulist Dreams 

"Sleep? What's that?" the college student's ultimate question.


	6. Doggy Talk

Title: Trapped Dolphin

Author: Somnambulistdreams

Summary: Iruka has suicidal issues, and Kakashi seems to be out to get him.

Rating: NC-17 (for later chapters)

Pairing(s): Kakashi x Iruka

Feedback: Oh yes please!

Characters: mainly Kakashi and Iruka … and Naruto and the gang, and the other teachers

Betas: On the lookout for one, or two, or three. Interested? Hehe… feel free to tell me.

Disclaimer: I'm not filthy rich and I don't own Naruto or any other characters in the anime. I'm not gettin' any money from doin' this either, awright? 'Coz if I did own Naruto, there'd surely be more half naked guys, and lots more Kakairu action going on… hehehe.

(This chapter is partially betaed. Will acknowledge her on the next chapter… if I get to contact her again. )

Chapter 6: Doggy Talk

Iruka woke up that morning with a slight headache and a jumble of memories from the night before that he thought were best left forgotten at the moment. He went on with his morning routine almost mechanically that he was somewhat surprised to find himself already seated at his desk in the classroom, with no recollection of how he got there.

Shaking his head slightly, he decided to stop trying to forget what happened the night before, since it was making him more absent-minded than he normally was. Then again, facing the facts was proving to be a lot harder than suppressing them.

He sighed heavily. Sure, last night, everything went on normally, well, as normal as everything would get when you're with Kakashi. The sake was great, too great in fact, and he found himself drinking a lot more than usual. Now that he thought about it, Iruka wished he drank maybe a couple of cups more. Hell, maybe a bottle more for good measure. That would have surely made him really, really drunk. Drunk enough not to remember most of the night. Ah, but no. He had to be intoxicated enough to pass out and yet, sober enough to remember almost everything.

Of course when he did pass out in the living room, and when he woke up in his bed, with Kakashi sitting next to him, he deduced that the jounin either carried him, or dragged him there. And by the lack of new bumps and bruises that he was almost positive he would acquire if Kakashi had decided to drag him around like a sack of potatoes, he deduced it was most likely the first option.

Now, Kakashi carrying him to his bed? That was weird. But not so surprising. Well, not as surprising as the next thing that happened. He still couldn't believe it. Kakashi had removed his mask and kissed him. He closed his eyes, recalling what had happened.

"If you let me in, you'll never have to be alone anymore."

Iruka's eyes shot wide open. The feeling of Kakashi's warm lips on his—it was something totally foreign to him. And yet, as the jounin pressed his lips further onto his, a questioning tongue sliding lightly to touch his lips, begging for entrance, and as Iruka opened his mouth quite unsure, then feeling that tongue enter his mouth and worship it and coax his own tongue to life, as Kakashi's left arm snaked to rub the small of his back reassuringly while his other arm cupped the back of his head bringing them closer together, he felt himself slowly melt as the heat of the other man's body mingled with the painful numbness inside of him.

Iruka closed his eyes and thought it was impossible to feel this warmth that Kakashi was bringing him. Slowly he began to respond to the jounin's touch, to the jounin's wonderful kiss. He finally gave in to the incessant coaxing and his tongue moved to touch Kakashi's tongue. He let his muscles relax and mold his own body perfectly towards Kakashi's. That warmth was something so incredible; he felt the need to have all of it – to feel the heat of the other man's body all over his. For the first time in almost all of his life… he felt like he had someone… he felt like he belonged… he felt like he wasn't alone anymore. "I'm here, Iruka. I can help you. You don't have to be alone," the voice of this man resounded in his head. "If you let me in, you'll never have to be alone anymore."

'If I let him in… I'll never be alone anymore…' Iruka repeated in his mind. Suddenly Iruka's thoughts became a jumble of questions and doubts. Why was Kakashi doing this? What did he do to be honored with this? Did he deserve such a feeling? Why was Kakashi offering his warmth to him? Why was he offering to share with his pain? Why? What did he have to gain from this?

Iruka grew more and more confused by the moment. Kakashi… his kiss… his arms wrapped around his… everything made Iruka feel things he never felt before. It was just so good… 'This is too good to be true,' he thought. The realization made Iruka open his eyes as his doubts and fears threatened to boil over. 'This can't possibly be real… Who would want to be with me?' he thought sorrowfully. He stopped kissing the older man back, and used his hands that were once slack to push Kakashi away from him.

Kakashi reluctantly broke their kiss. He moved his hands to rest at the sides of Iruka's slender waist. He noticed that Iruka's face was flushed, like an embarrassed little kid, and he just looked so adorable. But, at the same time, his adorable face was etched with a look of defeat. "What's wrong?" he asked, staring into those beautiful chocolate orbs.

"Why a-are you doing this, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked, his voice faltering a bit.

"I don't want to see you alone… Iruka," he replied, his tone was sincere and for the first time, he didn't call him Iruka-sensei. Just Iruka.

It was beyond belief.

"Stop it, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said, pushing the man's chest with a hand half-heartedly.

"Why do you want me to stop, Iruka? Tell me why, and I'll stop," Kakashi told him. He knew the younger man was confused.

"I don't need this," Iruka replied, looking straight into Kakashi's mismatched eyes in an effort to convince the jounin of his conviction. But as he felt he was being drawn into those beautiful, expressive eyes once again, he realized that he was the one who needed to be convinced. "Not this," he said more firmly.

For a fleeting moment, Kakashi looked like his whole world was eroding around him. The image of his handsome face wearing that clear expression of hurt was like a kunai through Iruka's heart. But that expression quickly faded into an almost impassive look that Iruka thought it was just a figment of his imagination. After all, why would Kakashi be hurt? Surely, he can't possibly care for Iruka like he claimed, right? Iruka's brows furrowed even more.

Kakashi relented and removed his hands from Iruka. By this time, Iruka didn't know what to think, what to do. He braced himself when he sensed Kakashi was about to speak. Would Kakashi get angry? Would he take on a 'holier than thou' attitude and start lecturing him about not hurting himself? And what if he suddenly leaves and tells everyone of his secret?

"Why, Iruka?" was all Kakashi said.

Iruka's eyes grew impossibly wide. He spoke in such a soft, solemn tone that Iruka thought could never have come from Kakashi's mouth. He searched Kakashi's face for that same look of hurt he saw not a moment ago, a sign that might just make him believe Kakashi's sincerity.

It wasn't there.

Instead, there was that same impassive expression on Kakashi's face, a look most probably perfected from all his years of being a ninja. But then… those eyes. Iruka couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. Despite that nonchalant look he wore, Kakashi's eyes fearlessly showed his emotions, that same emotion of deep hurt from Iruka's rejection, and something else. Dare he say, longing and desire?

"I—," Iruka began before he choked at the sudden onslaught of emotions, and he couldn't find the right words to say. Were there even right words for it? Kakashi's offer of help sounded appealing… the kiss that came afterwards was infinitely better… he almost felt like Kakashi really cared for him… but was it all real? Iruka was sure he WANTED it to be real. He wanted the sincerity that he thought he heard in Kakashi's voice to be real. He wanted it to be real so bad that the possibility that it might just be fictitious terrified him. What if it was just something his overly hopeful and currently overly hazed mind wanted him to believe?

There was a long silence. Iruka opened his mouth to speak several times, and found himself unable to utter a single sound. Once again, he found himself wishing he wasn't so weak and useless. He was supposed to be a ninja! He was supposed to be able to think clearly in stressful situations. He was never supposed to let his emotions rule him.

Iruka had to mentally snort at that last thought. 'Never supposed to let my emotions rule me huh? But that's exactly what made me like this in the first place,' he thought cynically.

He watched Kakashi just silently sitting there, staring back at him, waiting for whatever it is that Iruka was planning to say or do. Iruka was far from getting his thoughts and emotions in order, but somewhere at the back of his mind, he wished he could go back into Kakashi's embrace and feel that soothing warmth once more. But he struggled to steel himself. He has already shown Kakashi just how weak he was, he could at least hold on to the last bit of strength he had in him at that moment.

"Just go, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said when he finally found his voice. "I don't need this," he repeated with more conviction. Maybe if he said those words enough times, he might actually start believing them.

Kakashi's expression was unreadable. He sat there, watching the conflicting emotions on the chuunin's face.

"Kakashi-sensei, please just go."

Iruka was startled out of his reverie by a paper shuriken that whooshed past his ear. He looked wide-eyed at his classroom filled with energetic tykes who, in turn, looked equally wide-eyed at him. "All right, who threw that?" he asked the class. They continued to stare innocently back at him, as if they were all perfect, little angels. Of course, Iruka knew no one would ever admit to anything, nor snitch on the guilty party.

The kids' eyes went from wide to saucer-sized when their teacher suddenly started laughing. "What's wrong with him?" asked Moegi.

"He's probably on some kind of medication," Konohamaru replied.

Iruka was still chuckling when he bent down to pick the paper shuriken from the floor. He sat back straight on his chair and brandished the shuriken with a wide grin on his face. "If you're going to throw shurikens, try aiming them at more strategic points than your opponent's ear, okay?" he said. He threw the paper weapon at Konohamaru who nearly toppled over his seat in an attempt to avoid it, however unsuccessfully. Said weapon hit the boy square on the chest. "I believe that's yours, Konohamaru," he continued.

"It's not mine!" Konohamaru denied.

"Oh? Too bad, I was actually going to thank you for giving me an idea for an activity we could do today."

"Huh? Really?" Konohamaru asked in a mixture of suspicion and confusion.

Iruka nodded. "Kids, what do you say we go out to the training grounds for a while?"

The whole class cheered, and before Iruka could even utter another sound, there was a flurry of colors and stomping little feet. In an instant, the classroom was deserted.

Iruka shook his head as he chuckled again. "Kids," he muttered. "If there's one thing that could make me forget about everything else… it would have to be those silly kids," he said.

Kakashi sat on a tree branch not too far away from the ninja academy as he watched the little students seated around on the grass making paper shurikens with their sensei. He heard Iruka specifically instruct the kids NOT to throw the shurikens until he said so, but judging from all the paper weapons flying around, it looked like the kids' short attention spans just got shorter.

'He seems fine, like nothing happened at all,' Kakashi thought. 'But, he always seems fine.' His gaze followed Iruka who moved a safe distance away from his charges and finally gave the go signal to the hyperactive kids. Lots of flying shurikens accompanied by shouting, laughing, and running ensued, with Iruka occasionally running after the rambunctious tykes as he shouted out warnings like 'Hey, don't wipe your snot on the shurikens!', or 'What the-? That's an explosion tag!' or 'I said throw paper shurikens, not rocks!'. And after each little glitch in his new class activity was ironed out, he would chuckle and sit back down and just watch the kids do some 'training' contentedly.

Kakashi noticed that Iruka looked his happiest when he was with his students, whether they be those ninja academy brats (or devils, Kakashi couldn't make a clear distinction) or the genins and a few chuunins he used to teach. He could tell he cared a great deal for all of them, and Kakashi understood that Iruka must be scared to lose any one of them. In fact, Kakashi thought that Iruka was quite similar to him, and yet quite different at the same time.

Kakashi understood all too well what it felt like to lose someone you cared for, which was why he avoided getting close to another human being. That was why he wore a mask, sneaked around town all the time, and almost never socialized with anybody, just to avoid getting too attached to anyone else. But Iruka… he knew how painful it was to lose someone close to him, and yet he still cared for others, he still allowed each of his students a place in his heart. That, in itself, was dangerous, for every student he would lose, he would lose a part of his heart as well. The threat alone of losing a student would probably be terrifying for him.

But Iruka was a ninja. He shouldn't be ruled by his emotions. He shouldn't be terrified. But the truth was, every ninja still had moments when their feelings got the better of them, every ninja gets terrified even if they would never admit it, even Kakashi. Especially Kakashi. Heck, very much like Iruka, Kakashi had a lot of ghosts haunting him everywhere, in his thoughts and in his dreams. And while he busied himself with all kinds of hazardous missions, or spent his time torturing Team 7, and indulged himself in anything and everything Icha Icha Paradise, just to make those ghosts disappear even for a short while, Iruka on the other hand, busied himself with teaching at the ninja academy, and indulged in a few moments alone in his apartment, hurting himself and making his arms bleed.

Yes. They were both very alike and very different at the same time. They share the same problems, yet they deal with them in polar opposite ways, neither of their solutions better than the other's. Maybe with this knowledge in mind, Kakashi could find a way for both of them to solve their problems without further damaging each of their already unstable states of mind.

Ah, but he was once again spending too much time thinking.

Looking up to the sky, and noticing that it was noon, Kakashi frowned and realized that he was already sufficiently late, meaning he was more than three hours late, for a meeting he had with his team of genins. Team 7 just arrived from their mission early that same day. He wanted to get them back on training. They'd been slacking off for the past few weeks. Maybe this could also distract his mind and give himself a few moments of peace.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" Naruto and Sakura yelled in unison the moment Kakashi decided to grace them with his presence. Sasuke just shrugged.

"We just got from a mission and we're tired and it's hot out! I feel like a sun-dried tomato out here!" Naruto continued.

"What was it this time?" Sakura asked. "You had to rescue another cat from a tree?"

"No… it was a dog," Kakashi replied.

"A dog? You didn't rescue a dog up a tree. You're lying!" Naruto said.

"Of course, he's lying, dumb ass. Dogs can't climb up trees," Sasuke told Naruto.

Naruto frowned. "I'm not a dumb ass!" Naruto yelled at Sasuke. "And sure they can climb trees. Kakashi-sensei's dogs climb trees," Naruto argued, feeling quite proud that he proved Sasuke wrong.

"You're a dumb ass alright. Kakashi-sensei has ninja dogs. If they can climb trees, then they can climb down too."

And once again, Naruto came crashing down to reality. But before Naruto could offer another retort, if ever he did come up with one, Kakashi had stopped them. "No. No dog up a tree. I just had some problems with my dog," he said.

"Ah, I see," Naruto said understandingly. "It's the fleas!" he said in realization. "Ack! You probably got fleas yourself!" he said taking a huge leap backwards.

Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "No. No fleas," he corrected. "He got injured a while back, and ever since then, he became morose."

"That's just plain weird. No way did your dog become a rose!" Naruto declared.

"MOROSE," Sakura nearly yelled. "Depressed. Miserable. Gloomy. Down in the gutters. Get the picture?"

"Oh," Naruto said. He turned back to Kakashi and uttered, "So what's this gotta do with why you were late again?"

"I was thinking of ways to cheer him up all morning," he explained.

"Hmm… maybe he's like that 'coz you're not paying attention to him," Naruto said.

"I doubt he's doing that to get my attention," Kakashi said with slight amusement as the image of a certain cute, little dog with a scar on the snout and a wagging tail entered his mind.

"Then how about getting him a female dog? She'll surely take care of him, and he won't feel bad anymore!" Sakura suggested, eyeing Sasuke, as if saying, "I'll be your female dog if you want!" Sasuke just shrugged and once again, ignored the silent pleas for affection of the pink-haired girl.

"Or bring him some ramen! That sure cheers ME up," Naruto suggested.

"That's 'coz your brain's made out of noodles," Sasuke muttered.

"And yours is just probably all soup," Naruto snapped back, giving the other boy a death glare, and failing miserably for all that talk of ramen had reminded him of just how hungry he was. Suddenly, Naruto felt more determined to solve his sensei's predicament, if only to get him to let them eat first. "Or friends!" he blurted out. "Bring him to his friends. They could spend some time together, play or do all sorts of stuff, keep him busy, and then he wouldn't feel lonely anymore, right?"

Kakashi smiled under his mask although he showed no change in demeanor on the outside. Naruto unwittingly hit the mark once again. He'd voiced out exactly what Kakashi had in mind.

"Sure. Friends. Why didn't I think of that?" Kakashi agreed, earning a smug look from Naruto. "But, enough about that," Kakashi said as he pulled out his favorite orange book. "Tell me about your mission."

"Mission? Why are you asking? You've never asked before," Sakura said.

"Come on, I just wanna know, and after that, we could start your training," Kakashi asked.

"Aww, training?" Naruto complained. "We just got back. Don't we at least get to eat? And we've been waitin' all this time. I haven't even slept yet!"

"Whining again? Don't tell me you're tired already, dobe," Sasuke said.

"I'm not tired! I can train all day! Heh, I bet I can even outlast you today," Naruto said with a sneer.

"Oh, you're on," Sasuke said.

"That's the spirit. So… who got more bad guys?" Kakashi asked.

"Hehe, of course I got more of them!" Naruto bragged.

"It was more like they got more of your clones," Sasuke scoffed.

"Oh, and you go talk! All you did was show off!" Naruto retorted. "Ohhh…Look at me! I can change my eyes from black to red!" he said, mimicking Sasuke. "Now they're red, oops, black -- "

"Come on, will you guys quit it?" Sakura said, trying to break off the two arguing boys.

This time, Kakashi showed his smile with his visible eye curving upward. He turned his attention back to his book, with the sounds of shouting and name-calling in the background. "Ahh… the comforting sounds of adolescents bickering. Just the kind of peace I need…" he said with a content sigh.

A/N:

Yes. You're not hallucinating. It's an update, like I promised. As usual, college is hell. Exams are killing me. I've got 4 more coming up in the next two weeks, so like I've said before, don't expect an update for at least a month after this one. The next chapter is only half done… and I will get to it as soon as I get these hellish exams out of my hair.

So, to whom do we owe this update to? Well, special thanks goes to all those who patiently review, of course. I'm surprised anyone even bothers to leave reviews, but thank you. Really. I owe you guys a lot. I will try to reply to reviews from now on, just to acknowledge you and show you my gratitude.

I have enabled the anonymous reviews, thanks to amberblood. I actually did not know you could do that. Oh stupid me. Anyway, please, leave reviews. Good, or bad, I don't mind. Keep them coming, and I'll try to speed up writing and updating as well.

Thanks!

SD

heh, it gets tiring writing my whole penname. Besides, SD can also stand for Sexy Dolphin. Very appropriate. Hehehe…


	7. The dolphin, the scarecrow

Title: Trapped Dolphin

Author: Somnambulistdreams

Summary: Iruka has suicidal issues, and Kakashi seems to be out to get him.

Rating: NC-17 (for later chapters)

Pairing(s): Kakashi x Iruka

Feedback: Oh yes please!

Characters: mainly Kakashi and Iruka … and Naruto and the gang, and the other teachers

Betas: On the lookout for one, or two, or three. Interested? Hehe… feel free to tell me.

Disclaimer: I'm not filthy rich and I don't own Naruto or any other characters in the anime. I'm not gettin' any money from doin' this either, awright? 'Coz if I did own Naruto, there'd surely be more half naked guys, and lots more Kakairu action going on… hehehe.

A/N To commemorate the one-year anniversary of my first posting of this fic on the net, I made this chapter a little longer than usual just for you. Enjoy. 

Chapter 7: The Dolphin, the Scarecrow, the Senbon-sucker, and the Human Inflatable

Iruka stacked the mission reports on the desk as neatly as he could and heaved a heavy sigh. If he what he heard was correct, Team 7 returned from their mission early that day. But he has yet to see Naruto and the others. He was worried that one of them could have been seriously injured, however, if one of them were sent to the hospital, he would've heard of it already.

Then there was that nagging thought at the back of his head that Naruto forgot about their little agreement to get ramen. It used to be that every after each mission, Naruto would rush to wherever Iruka was and spend as much time as possible narrating his newest adventures, then after some pleading from the blonde boy, they would head on over to Ichiraku's for a hearty ramen meal. But lately… they haven't been spending as much time as they used to. To know that he was assuming a smaller and smaller role in the boy's life was slowly breaking his heart. He felt even more insignificant. More worthless.

He felt the itch of the wounds on his arms and his eyes were drawn to a small smudge of blood on the bandages on his right arm. A particularly deep slash near his wrist reopened slightly from all the writing he was doing. It has been a couple of days since he last cut himself… and he suddenly found himself greatly missing the stinging sensation. The urge to see more of his blood grew by the second and he contemplated retreating to the comfort room for a few moments to indulge his desire for pain… something to overtake the aching in his chest…

…When suddenly, a typhoon in orange ran straight into his desk and toppled over the other side, taking everything down with him, including a very confused Iruka.

'Naruto?' he thought. Iruka cleared his mind of all previous thoughts and looked at the blonde-haired boy that just crashed into him. 'He's here! He didn't forget…' he thought as he felt his joy bubbling up, only to be interrupted by a sickening feeling that crept up to him, 'wait a sec…is this really Naruto, or just another one of Kakashi-sensei's sick jokes?' he asked himself.

"Iruka-sensei! I'm Ba-aack!" Naruto said with enough enthusiasm to scare Gai out of his sickly-green spandex, an incredible feat in itself.

Iruka grinned. That sealed it. This was definitely Naruto. Not even Kakashi could conjure up that much enthusiasm. Although Iruka wasn't happy with now having to doubt if Naruto was really Naruto every time they met, he was, for the time being, ecstatic to see the boy once again. Iruka just shook those thoughts away and chuckled at the boy sitting on the floor beside him. "I can see that. Would you mind getting off of the mission reports?" he asked with amusement.

"Oh! Right," Naruto said, jumping to his feet and taking a handful of papers and dumping them on the desk.

His former teacher just smiled as he stood up as well, righting his chair, and sitting back down, intent on trying to return some semblance of order to his desk. "How did the mission go?" he asked as he sifted through the various papers.

"Great! Naturally, I did better than Sasuke!" he boasted, and continued on retelling the whole story of their mission in vivid detail, even reenacting just exactly how Sasuke looked when one of the bad guys managed to punch him in the gut. "Anyway, training was like hell today. Kakashi-sensei didn't even let us eat!" he complained.

Iruka chuckled, knowing where Naruto's train of thought was leading. "So, are you hungry?" Iruka asked.

"You bet! How 'bout that ramen you promised me, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, almost giddy with anticipation.

"Sure? Why not?" Iruka agreed happily. He was wrong to doubt Naruto when it came to ramen. The boy would die without it! "I'm due for a break anyway. Just gimme a second to rearrange this, okay?" he told Naruto.

"'Kay. Hurry up, Iruka-sensei. I haven't had ramen in days!"

"Okay, okay. I'm hurrying," Iruka said with another chuckle.

0.0.0.0.0

Iruka and his vibrant ex-student trudged down the road towards Ichiraku. He was thankful Naruto and the others were back from their mission. He couldn't explain why, but Naruto always managed to lift his spirits up. It seemed that the boy's happy-go-lucky attitude was infectious.

They laughed together as they approached their destination, but Iruka stopped dead in his tracks, his laughter fading completely at the first sight of silver hair.

"He-ey Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said excitedly, bouncing onto the seat next to the copy-nin.

"Oh hey, Naruto. You alone?" Kakashi asked.

"No."

Kakashi turned around to see Iruka taking a seat next to Naruto.

"It's nice to see you again, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka greeted with a smile.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. 'Oh, he's good. That smile almost looked real,' he thought.

"Always a pleasure, Iruka," he replied with as much sugar as he could muster, watching Iruka's face intently to see if he could catch even a single shred of evidence of what transpired the night before. But once again, Iruka just stared back at him with the same smile.

Naruto looked at Kakashi then Iruka and then back at Kakashi and wondered why there was something off with the way they looked at each other, despite the pleasantries they just shared. Shrugging it off as a product of his weariness, and the fact that he was really hungry and in dire need of his ramen fix, Naruto banged his fists on the table and declared, "I've got a GREAT idea!"

Iruka shifted his attention back to his ex-student and did his best to pretend the other teacher did not exist. "What's this about now, Naruto?" he asked.

"Let's see who can eat more bowls of ramen, Iruka-sensei. Whoever loses has to pay the bill!" he said, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

"Oh, no!" Iruka said, shaking his head. "Not that game!"

"Aww, why not?" Naruto whined, standing up from his seat in protest.

"Because," Iruka began, placing a hand on top of Naruto's head to urge him to sit down, "I'm not willing to go a week without cash, coz' that's about as much ramen you ALONE could eat."

"Come on, Iruka-sensei! Afraid you'll lose again?" Naruto challenged.

"You'll have to do better than that to convince me," Iruka declared.

"But you said you'll treat me to ramen today, did you forget?"

"No I did not forget. I WILL treat you to maybe a couple of bowls, but if you want more, you'll have to buy them yourself…"

"Aww, Iruka-sensei! Two bowls!" Naruto whined again.

Kakashi watched the two arguing and felt like he was an outsider. Not that he minded the slight feeling of alienation. It was actually kind of nice to witness them debate over as simple a thing as paying for ramen. It was quite… endearing. Things like this really showed just how close one person was to another, and Kakashi found himself silently wishing that he could be as close to Iruka as Naruto was, to be able to engage him in a debate over trivial matters just like that, without worrying about repercussions. He knew that it would take time, and a lot of hard work, and maybe not so many rejections in the future, but he was more than willing to go through all of that and more, if only to get that crucial inch closer to Iruka.

Kakashi had to blink a couple of times when he realized he'd been thinking too much that he almost did not catch the two get into an agreement: Iruka was going to pay for three bowls of ramen for Naruto, instead of just two, a compromise Naruto was a bit short of ecstatic about. They made their order, and Naruto turned to Kakashi again.

"So, Kakashi-sensei, have you ordered already?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, just before the two of you arrived," Kakashi replied, glancing at Iruka to see he was tracing an invisible circle on the table with his finger. He could tell Iruka was far from comfortable with him being there. He almost felt guilty for somehow intruding on Iruka's 'alone time' with Naruto. "But I'm afraid I'll have it to-go instead. I just remembered there's somewhere I have to be right now," he added.

Iruka's eyes grew wide when he heard what the jounin said. He couldn't help but feel relieved that he was being spared the torture of acting amicable with Kakashi, however, the fact that it was Kakashi himself who was saving him the trouble; well he didn't know what to think of it. "You can stay if you want to. We don't want you to think you're intruding or anything," Iruka blurted out, to his great surprise, as well as Kakashi's. 'Oh crap, what if he does stay?' Iruka worried.

Kakashi thought it was a nice gesture, despite that fleeting look on Iruka's face that clearly read, 'Please say "no"!' He thought about staying just to see what Iruka's reaction would be, but he realized it was too early to be getting on Iruka's bad side again, and just opted to stick to his story instead. "Oh, I didn't think I was intruding," he lied. "I believe the hokage requested an audience with me about an hour ago. It'd be fun to eat on the rooftop while I watch her harassing Shizune, or vice versa, before I report at her office," he said with a chuckle. He had to admit, that idea just popped into his head, but it seemed quite appealing.

"If you insist," Iruka said, trying his best not to sound relieved.

0.0.0.0.0

Iruka stopped at the grocery store to get a few things he needed for dinner that night. On days when take-home paperwork was light, he would cook for himself instead of getting a delivery. It was a welcome distraction, and it helped him relax a bit. The moment he stopped in front of his door, however, all thoughts of cooking dinner flew out the proverbial window. There was something off, and he knew it. Someone was in his apartment! Talk about déjà vu. He opened the door with a quick swing, ready to lunge at the intruder with a kunai.

And found an unmasked Kakashi hanging upside down from the hole on his roof.

"Kakashi-sensei!" he yelled.

"Yo, Iruka!" he said, jumping down from the ceiling and landing a couple of feet away from the still-in-shock chuunin. "How was work?" he said in a pleasant tone.

"What are you doing! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!" he scolded, placing the kunai back into his bag.

"Aww, don't be like that…" Kakashi said with a pout.

Iruka had to blink to get his focus away from those lips. He wasn't used to seeing Kakashi without his mask. He almost looked naked. And damn, why did he have to look like a cute little kid when he pouted?

"What is wrong with you, Kakashi-sensei? Have you forgotten what happened last night?" he blurted out before he could think, and he silently cursed himself for bringing the mood back to 'awkward and unbearable'.

"No, I haven't," Kakashi said in a serious tone. "And I don't take rejection very well, Iruka," he said, stepping a little closer to Iruka.

Iruka couldn't help but feel a little nervous. He braced himself for what would happen next.

And was in another form of shock when Kakashi grinned. "But, hey, thanks for reminding me why I am here," he said, holding a hammer up. "I promised I'd help you fix your roof, didn't I? So, treat this as a sort of… peace offering," he said.

"Peace offering?" Iruka repeated.

"Yeah. I admit I kinda went a little overboard last night…" he stopped to gauge the expression on Iruka's face. When it seemed he was still on safe grounds, he continued with a much more lighthearted tone, "but I blame it solely on alcohol and stupidity. So could we just put it all behind us, and get to fixing your roof?" he asked, waving the hammer in front of Iruka's face.

A few seconds passed and Iruka just stared at him. Then he spoke, "You really can't stay serious for too long, can you?" Iruka asked, this time he didn't seem as apprehensive as before, and Kakashi was relieved.

"Heh, being too serious just isn't me," Kakashi said shaking his head. "Besides, as much as I enjoy making you angry," he paused, then he smiled and added, "I enjoy making you smile a whole lot more."

And there it was.

Umino Iruka.

Red as a tomato.

And Kakashi smiling like an idiot.

Iruka immediately lowered his head, hoping the jounin didn't notice, and cursing himself at the same time for letting Kakashi's words affect him. Kakashi was, after all, only joking with him again.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei…" Iruka began, gluing his gaze on the part of the floor between their feet.

Kakashi, sensing something serious again, cleared his throat and replied, "Yeah?"

"Could you… answer me honestly… and as seriously as you can?" Iruka asked.

'He's looks so nervous and unsure… it's so cute,' Kakashi thought. "I give you my word," Kakashi replied. "What is it about?" he asked.

"…"

"Well?" Kakashi urged on. He had an idea of what Iruka was going to tell him, and his suspicions were proven correct when he saw Iruka rubbing his right wrist with his left hand.

"…You didn't tell anyone, did you?" Iruka asked, his voice almost a whisper.

"I promised you I wouldn't, didn't I?" Kakashi replied. "And I would never break a promise… especially one I made to you," he said, reaching out a hand to Iruka's chin, and slowly lifting Iruka's head up to look at him. He smiled when he saw Iruka's eyes wide and unsure. He moved his hand on Iruka's shoulder in a reassuring gesture and bent a little forward, until their noses were almost touching each other. Iruka suddenly grew nervous. He's not going to kiss him again, is he? "Don't worry about it, alright? Worrying will cause you lots of wrinkles, and we don't want that now, do we?" he asked with a wink.

Iruka shook his head slightly.

"Ah! Look, you've got lines on your forehead already, tsk, tsk, tsk," Kakashi said, shaking his own head.

Iruka's eyes grew wider and he pushed Kakashi away. "I DO NOT!" he growled, hands flying to his forehead, only to realize he was wearing his forehead protector and Kakashi could not have possibly seen any lines even if there were. He pouted, and grumbled, "Jerk."

Kakashi just laughed at him. "You wouldn't be the first to tell me that."

"Let's just get the fixing over, all right?" Iruka said.

"Aye, aye, captain," Kakashi answered, turning around intending to climb back up on the roof through the hole.

"Kakashi-sensei," Iruka called out again, effectively stopping Kakashi in his tracks.

Kakashi turned around to see Iruka's head bowed down once again, his eyes boring holes on the floor. "Yeah?" Kakashi asked.

"Thank you," Iruka said softly, shyly.

Kakashi could not help the triumphant grin forming on his face. Iruka might still be a little bit confused and uncomfortable with him, but at least he was not mad anymore. Just a single victory, but still a victory nonetheless. "You're welcome," Kakashi answered.

0.0.0.0.0

A moment later, when the groceries were safely stored in the refrigerator, both ninjas were on the roof, Iruka removing broken tiles, and Kakashi happily pounding away on his hammer. "So… how was work, Iruka?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he replied quietly.

Kakashi sensed Iruka was still a bit reluctant to talk to him, much less be with him. He knew gaining Iruka's trust and friendship would take some time. He can't expect to be close to Iruka and for things to drastically change just like that. But he had to be persistent. If not, Iruka would just push him away even more. "I see, so you hold paper-shuriken throwing practices everyday?" Kakashi asked.

"How did you know---?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi felt like punching himself on the face repeatedly. 'Way to go. Why don't I just confess that I stalk him almost everyday while I'm at it,' he scolded himself mentally. "Uh, I heard one of the kids talking about it on my way to see the hokage," he lied.

Iruka looked at him critically, realizing that if he was lying, Kakashi had a foolproof way of not showing it, even if he wasn't wearing the mask. "I thought it would be nice for the kids to go out and have some fun once in a while. I _have_ been a bit negligent lately," he explained.

"Negligent? Seriously Iruka, anyone who can stand to be with those little devils for more than ten seconds is far from negligent. If anything, they help keep you alert, am I right? Who knows what those little minds of theirs are plotting to do next," Kakashi said.

Iruka chuckled lightly. "I suppose you're right," he said.

Kakashi smiled. "There, see? Smiling suits you far more than that gloomy face," he said.

"Stop the flattery, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said.

"It's not pure flattery. It's the truth!" Kakashi defended. "And by the way, great job on collapsing your roof. I really didn't expect that," he commended. "How did you get it to cave in so easily? You hardly used any chakra!"

Iruka arched an eyebrow. "Is that your idea of making me feel better, Kakashi-sensei? If you must know, I used up almost all my chakra trying to defend myself!"

Kakashi couldn't help but feel relieved by the moment. Iruka was out of gloomy mode and back to bantering mode instead. This was a good sign. "Hey, you're taking it the wrong way again. I only want to know."

Iruka sighed. "It's because of Naruto," he replied.

Kakashi blinked. Ah yes, the answer to all Iruka's problems. Naruto. "You'll do anything for him, won't you?" Kakashi asked, feeling a tinge of jealousy that the boy affected Iruka so much.

"Yeah, that and because he stuck an explosion tag on my living room ceiling when he was still in the ninja academy. He said he was trying to get to a fly… and well, ended up creating quite a large sunroof instead. I fixed it but the support beams became pretty weak after that. I just remembered that when we were fighting, and thought I'd use it against you," he explained.

Kakashi's eyes grew wide in amazement. Iruka was truly something else! It seemed his intelligence was beyond mere chuunin level. He knew just the right concentration of chakra to use, and the exact position to focus it on the roof so that it only caved in where Kakashi was standing, and not where he himself was. "Sometimes I forget you're just a chuunin, Iruka," Kakashi said with a wide grin.

Iruka's eyebrow twitched again, "Yeah, just a chuunin. Sorry I'm not a jounin like you."

Kakashi merely chuckled. "Don't worry about it. We can't all be jounins," he said.

"Nah, I disagree. I think Iruka-sensei could be a jounin if he wanted to," a voice suddenly interjected.

Both men turned around to see a glint of a senbon in the moonlight.

"Genma-san!" Iruka said in surprise. He stood up before taking a quick glance at Kakashi and was even more surprised to see that mask back on his face. He didn't even see him put it on!

"Hi. It's so nice to see you, Iruka-sensei!" he said cheerfully. "Kakashi-sensei," he acknowledged with significantly less enthusiasm. "Did I interrupt something important?" he asked, noticing the death glare coming from Kakashi.

'Yeah, my alone-time with Iruka!' Kakashi wanted to yell. "What do you want?" he asked, not caring to mask the irritation in his voice. 'Go away. Everything was going so well!' Kakashi wanted to say.

Genma just gave a knowing smile. "The hokage wants a word with both of you," he informed them.

"A word with us? Do you know what for?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah I know, but I think it's best if you hear it from her, right?" he said with a sweet little wink at Iruka. And before Genma knew it, there was a hammer flying his direction, and his foot almost suffered a gruesome death if not for his quick hop a split-second earlier. "What the fuck!" Genma cursed.

Both Genma and Iruka turned to Kakashi, who was looking at his hand with curious, wide eyes. "Oops… that hammer just slipped from my hand!" he said in feigned innocence and disbelief. "I wonder why?" he said, letting his smile show on his visible eye.

Genma was just itching to bury his senbon in Kakashi's throat, or better yet, where the sun don't shine. Instead, he chose his strategy carefully, and walked towards Iruka, taking the chuunin's arm and hooking it on his own. "Well, shall we go to the hokage?" he asked.

Iruka stared wide-eyed at him. What the heck was wrong with Genma? But before he realized it, he was already nodding, and was poofed straight into the hokage's office.

A very annoyed Kakashi followed a second after.

"Oh! Oh! Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi felt his blood curdle at the sound of that shrill voice.

A tall woman with pink hair in pigtails and a chest that were more like inflatable water floaters, came bounding towards Kakashi, and immediately attached herself to Kakashi's arm. see author's note 

"Yuiko-san," Kakashi said through gritted teeth. Things were quickly getting from bad to worse.

'Yuiko-san?' Iruka thought. 'Ah, I remember now. She's a chuunin! And obviously another one of Kakashi's crazy fan girls,' Iruka thought with slight annoyance.

"I'm so glad! When they told me I'd be working with two jounins and another chuunin, I never expected you'd be one of the jounins! This is so great!" she squealed.

"Work?" Kakashi asked, feeling his face pale at the very thought of working with this breasts with legs.

"Yes. Work," Tsunade finally spoke. "I'm sending the four of you on a mission," she informed them.

"A mission?" Iruka repeated mechanically. A thousand and one doubts came rushing into his mind. He was going to be sent on a mission. A mission. After months of not being in action. Well, not counting of course Tsunade's little test. And he didn't fare quite well, if the uncomfortable wound on his abdomen was any indication. What if he failed this time?

Tsunade's voice knocked Iruka back to reality, and he shoved his thoughts away for the moment.

"It's not that dangerous, mainly just a retrieval mission, but the client insisted that we send as many ninjas as we can spare… and for the hefty amount they're paying us, we can afford to send the four of you," Tsunade explained.

"If it's not that dangerous, then wouldn't four be an overkill?" Kakashi asked.

"Overkill, likely. But, as of now, we need to keep many, if not all our clients satisfied or the other villages would think we're vulnerable. I don't want to give them any ideas. If the client asked for as many ninjas as we can spare, and we only send one or two, then how would that look?"

"I see. Sending the four of us for this mission will show the other villages that we are still in full force," Iruka nodded in comprehension.

"I'm glad you understand," Tsunade said.

"But why the four of us? Isn't there anyone else available?" Kakashi asked. Sure he was looking forward to working with Iruka, but it'd be even better if he got rid of the senbon-sucker and the inflatable.

"Aawww, Kakashi-sensei!" Yuiko whined. "Don't you want to go on a mission with me?" she asked.

'Not in a million Icha-Ichas!' Kakashi thought.

"Why Kakashi, are you refusing a mission?" Tsunade said with a smirk.

"No. I'm just asking why we were chosen," Kakashi replied.

"Well, for starters, there are only very few who are available right now, and most are not on missions because they have just _returned_ from missions. You four are the only ones who have not had any missions for at least three days," she paused, waiting for another protest from Kakashi, and hearing none, she continued, "If you don't have any more questions, here is the mission in detail," she said, placing a scroll on top of her desk. "Kakashi will be the team leader. Proceed as soon as all arrangements have been made. Oh, and one more thing, don't go overboard with the pomp and fanfare, all right? We can't have the clients think we sent them a bunch of ninjas straight from the Konoha loony bin."

"Understood," Kakashi acknowledged.

0.0.0.0.0

"Camarón… a port town east of Konoha…" Iruka read aloud. They were at the hall outside the hokage's office. As soon as they got out of the room, Kakashi handed him the scroll to read because he said he didn't want to strain his non-sharingan eye. This, of course, led to a discussion as to how exactly he managed to read all those Icha-ichas without straining his eye. Eventually, they all came to the agreement that Kakashi was just feeling particularly lazy that night, mainly due to the fact that he had a full-grown woman attached to his left arm. A full-grown, shrill and whiney woman to be exact.

"… Meet up first with the client, the Oro clan. The head will inform you of a clan treasure you are to retrieve for them… stolen by their long-time rival, the Platino clan a week ago. Proceed to the Platino fortress at the next town called Gorrión, just north beyond the mountain range," he continued to read.

"Why do they have to have names that are sooo weird!" Yuiko whined. "Why couldn't they have just named themselves Doggy and Kitty?"

"Heh, wouldn't that be nice?" Genma said sarcastically. He, too, was wondering just how this ditz even ever managed to graduate from the ninja academy.

"I'm glad you agree!" she squealed.

"Anyway," Kakashi said, using that momentary lapse in her iron-grip hold on him to yank his arm away and immediately jump in between Genma and Iruka, who by the way were standing a little too close together for comfort, damn that senbon-sucker! "It seems mundane enough. Does it say what time we should meet up with mister clan leader?" Kakashi asked, peering at the scroll from behind Iruka's shoulder.

"No. It just says here we should be there by tomorrow afternoon," Iruka replied.

"Then the sooner we can leave, the better. I say we head out first thing tomorrow morning," Kakashi suggested.

"That's soooo grrreat! I'm so excited. I'll pack my bags now!" Yuiko squealed as she ran down the hall and out of sight.

"Simple people have simple joys," Genma noted. Then, as if a brilliant idea just popped into his mind, he turned and, completely ignoring Kakashi, he gave Iruka a broad grin. "Hey, Iruka-sensei, have you eaten dinner yet? Wanna grab a bite to eat?" he asked.

Kakashi was silently grumbling. 'He's not gonna go out with you, dumb ass.'

Iruka smiled. "Thanks a lot, but I've got other plans tonight. Maybe some other time," he turned down politely.

'Ha! I knew it!' Kakashi gloated inside.

"How about next Sunday then?" Genma asked.

'Get a clue, Genma. He's not interested in you,' Kakashi thought.

"Sure. Why not?" Iruka replied.

And immediately Kakashi felt his world crumbling. "Are you serious?" Kakashi blurted out.

"It's just dinner, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said with a shrug.

"Yeah, it's just dinner," Genma agreed with a smirk, earning another death glare directed at him. "I should probably get going then. The steak house closes in half an hour," he said before excusing himself from the two.

"So… where are we eating dinner?" Kakashi asked boldly.

"Excuse me, uh, WE? I don't know with you, but I'm eating at home, alone," Iruka replied.

"Oh? So you would go out with Genma-san on a date, but you won't go out with me?" Kakashi said with a frown.

"I'm not going out with Genma-san on a date. How many times do I have to repeat that it's just dinner? Besides, YOU never asked me to go out with you…" Iruka explained.

"So, then, if I asked you to go out with me, does this mean you'll say 'yes'?" Kakashi asked expectantly.

"I never said I would. Don't get ahead of yourself," Iruka said. "I'm not interested in you like that."

"Aww… Iruka is so mean. I'm hurt," Kakashi said, and if Iruka could see his face, he'd be pouting like a five year old right now.

"Can we please just focus on the mission right now?" Iruka asked, tapping the scroll with his finger for emphasis.

Kakashi shrugged, "What's the point. Genma-san and that pink-haired inflatable—"

"Yuiko-san," Iruka corrected.

"…yeah, okay, Yuiko-san, are both gone. Besides what's there to explain? It's all there. Anything else we need will be given to us by the clan leader. You should learn to relax a bit more, Iruka," Kakashi said.

Iruka refused to look at Kakashi as he spoke. "It's just… I…," he began. 'Should I tell him? I don't think, after all he's found out about me, that I can hide anything from him anymore,' he thought. "…After all that happened, I don't think I'm an efficient ninja anymore. Well, as efficient as I should be…" he said softly.

"Hey, what did I tell you about worrying so much?" Kakashi asked. "Come on, you're a brilliant ninja. Don't think otherwise. Besides, the hokage gave you this mission. Do you think she would give a mission to someone whom she thought isn't fit to accomplish it?"

Iruka sighed and closed the scroll. "I guess you're right," Iruka said.

"There! Now that mission planning is over, I'm really hungry," Kakashi declared.

Iruka placed the scroll in his bag and started to walk down the hall, leaving Kakashi just standing there. Kakashi watched Iruka walking away in disappointment.

The Iruka stopped and turned around.

"What are you standing there for? Are you up for barbecue tonight?" Iruka said.

Kakashi's eyes grew as wide as saucers. Iruka was inviting him to eat dinner with him! "Hell yeah!" Kakashi said as he moved to catch up with Iruka.

"This isn't a date, all right?" Iruka cleared out.

"Oh sure, if you say so," Kakashi said with a particularly giddy bounce in his step as he walked side-by-side with Iruka. No one could possibly ruin his night now!

A/N:

Yuiko is from, yup, you guessed it, Loveless. You don't need knowledge about Loveless to understand the story, so don't worry.  She's just an annoying ditz. That's all. I needed a really annoying female character, and no one made the cut in the Naruto universe, so I thought I'd borrow her for a while. I made her a little older than both Kakashi and Iruka here, and since she's a big girl, she's about as tall as Iruka. Oh and those inflatables of hers are bigger as well (is that even possible?).

Anyway, hi! Yey. It's already a whole year since I gathered enough courage and finally decided to first post this fanfic. I've gone through numerous writer's blocks, three computers (I'm now using a brand new laptop, yey!), and lots of unwanted interruptions. I'm so happy I'm still alive after one year. And here's to a year more!

Just kidding!

Thanks a million to those who reviewed, and who continue to read my fic even after all this time and despite long waiting periods in between chapters. I do hope you could find it in you to forgive me. I have been getting around to thanking reviewers. Please keep those reviews coming. You know how important your opinions are! If there's anything you did not like about this chapter, or if you do not like how the story's going, please inform me. Your opinions could only help me improve this story.

Next update will be, once again, a little after one month. If I have extra time, I can maybe finish it a bit earlier, but don't keep your hopes up too high. I've got exams AND reports I have to do. College is still hell. What's new?

Again, thanks for all the support. Toodles!

SD (sexy dolphin, hehehe)


	8. Adrenaline

Hi. Yes I'm still alive. I offer my sincerest apologies for being so late. If you want to hear just what I have to say in my defense, please refer to the end of the chapter. Thank you, and enjoy the chapter. Next chapter will be interesting, as it is one of the very few ones that actually could come close to the rating I put up before. 

All disclaimers, warnings, and other miscellaneous information from previous chapters still apply.

Chapter 8: Adrenaline

"Can I really do it?"

Iruka combed his hand through wet hair and stared at his reflection on the water. It was a familiar scenario. Whenever his demons were all riled up and devouring what was left of his self-respect, he would find himself in the small bathroom of his apartment, staring at the same reflection… only this time, it wasn't on blood-tainted water.

He absentmindedly caressed the scarred skin of his arm as he thought over and over again just what was stopping him from cutting himself that night. "How long has it been since my last mission? Five months… maybe six…" he said thoughtfully.

His hand moved towards his abdomen, where the wound Kakashi had so expertly inflicted on him was slowly healing. "I may not be so lucky the next time."

He felt an increasing need to feel the cold sting of steel on his skin, and see blood flowing down his arm. But somehow, instead of reaching for a kunai, he found himself chuckling. "Heh, if Kakashi-sensei were here, I'm sure he'd just laugh and say 'don't worry about i--" Iruka stopped mid-sentence, surprise clearly marking his face when he realized what he had just said, or who he had just been thinking about.

He pulled the plug on the drain and got out of the tub. "Thinking of Kakashi-sensei… that's not a good sign," he said, shaking his head. "I must really be tired."

o.o.o.o.o

"Did you sleep well last night, Iruka-sensei?" Genma asked the next day as they trudged on a dirt road towards Camarón.

"Well enough, thank you Genma-san," Iruka said.

"Of course! He was with me last night after all," Kakashi interjected with a sly glint in his eye, loving the way Genma's face contorted in a show of surprise.

"You two…!" Genma gasped, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi.

"…just ate dinner and went our separate ways," Iruka answered before Kakashi could say anything.

"Aww… I would've loved to eat with Kakashi-sensei too!" Yuiko squealed, pouting in disappointment like a five year old afterwards.

"Don't worry, once we get to Camarón, we can all eat together. And maybe get some sweets afterwards. How does that sound?" Iruka said with a warm smile, and patting Yuiko's head at the same time, lifting the girl's spirits immediately.

"Okay!" she said, the bounce on her steps becoming more prominent.

Genma and Kakashi just stared at the two. "Iruka-sensei really has a way with children, doesn't he?" Genma whispered.

"Oh yeah. Except this one's not exactly a kid anymore," Kakashi said.

o.o.o.o.o

"Whoo!" Genma exhaled loudly. "We're finally here!" he said as they reached a small, and really pathetic wooden sign that read, "Welcome to Camarón."

The party stood at a dirt road on the mountainside overlooking the small town. The port town was located at a mountainside and beside a large river where several boats were stationed.

"Hmm… we're a bit early. But, ah, what the heck? Let's go strait to the Oros. Hehe, if we're lucky, the client will probably treat us to a nice lunch," Kakashi said with a hint of excitement, which immediately vanished at the words of a certain pink-haired chuunin.

"Ohh! Yuiko can get to feed Kakashi-sensei and serve him his drinks!" Yuiko squealed in delight, instantly attaching herself to Kakashi's arm.

"Ugh… I think I just lost my appetite," Kakashi grumbled.

The ninjas went around the town asking for directions towards the Oro clan house, and they were eventually led to the boundary of the town where a tall, brick wall sectioned off the Oro property.

"This looks more like a fortress than a house to me," Genma said in awe.

"No wonder the hokage gave in to their request for 'as many ninjas as we can spare.' They've got cash," Kakashi said as they walked towards the massive gates to the house where two guards were stationed.

The party was later escorted into the massive compound and to a room where the clan leader awaited their arrival. He was a middle-aged man, with a potbelly, a head full of white hair, and a jovial air.

"Welcome, I am glad that you have arrived. You must be tired from the travel. Please, take a seat," he said in a very pleasant tone.

"Not so much, but thank you," Iruka replied.

"Let's just get straight to the point. It is better if we get this treasure back as quickly as possible, don't you think?" Kakashi said in a no-nonsense tone.

Iruka glanced at Kakashi. He didn't have to be so serious especially when the clan leader was being so kind! Was he like that in every mission?

"Right, right, of course. Well, I suppose you'd like to know more about the treasure, yes?" he asked. The four ninjas nodded in response. "The Oro treasure is a very powerful weapon developed by our ancestors. So powerful that they eventually prohibited its use. We have kept it in close guard for more than 500 years.

"However, our rival clan, the Platinos managed to break into our property and steal the treasure a couple of days ago. Of course, we acted as soon as we can and hired you. And, needless to say, we need you to retrieve our treasure."

"What exactly is this treasure?" Kakashi asked.

"It's a silver-colored scroll. It holds the secret to a very old technique," the clan leader paused, and took a deep breath. It was then that the gravity of the situation was reflected on his face. "An inescapable Genjutsu," he said.

The room was momentarily overtaken by a surprised silence.

"It's not possible! A Genjutsu that can never be broken?" Yuiko asked.

"It is very much possible, believe me. It is a technique that makes a person's worst fears come to life before their very eyes and locks that person in the illusion that will last until the person dies. In most cases, the severity of the illusion itself causes the person to die. It is a very powerful technique," the clan leader explained.

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed as he considered what the man said. No matter which way he looked at it, this technique was strangely familiar… and totally impossible to be possessed by an unknown clan such as this.

"The potency of this technique also lies in the fact that any ninja with a high enough skill level can accomplish it. It does take a great chunk of a person's chakra, but it's no bloodline limit, I assure you. No special characteristics are required," he added.

Kakashi's suspicions had been confirmed. No bloodline limit. No special characteristics needed. If this Genjutsu were as powerful as this man says, then it would be really disastrous if it got into the wrong hands.

"Don't you think it's too late then?" Genma spoke up, rousing Kakashi from his thoughts. "For us to retrieve it. Your rival clan probably copied the contents of the scroll already."

"It's not too late yet, I'm sure of it. The scroll is heavily encrypted. Our ancestors made sure to seal it well. It would take at least a week, maybe two, before they could decode it and remove all the seals. But, even so, we must retrieve it as soon as possible."

"Yes, of course, we understand completely. Please put your faith in us," Iruka said.

"Stingy old man. Didn't even give us some tea," Kakashi grumbled before biting a huge chunk off his roast chicken leg as the party sat in a small restaurant in Gorrión. They took an hour trek up a mountain path after their audience with the Oro clan leader. And, after a quick look around the town, grabbed a bite to eat.

"You can't always expect to leech off of your clients, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said.

"Yeah, I know…" Kakashi said, looking out the window in an attempt to ignore the clingy, young woman beside him that was force-feeding him a whole bowl of vegetables.

They chose this particular restaurant because, from where they sat, the gates to the Platino clan compound can be clearly seen. It was a well-guarded place, much like the Oro clan's own property, and getting inside inconspicuously would be near impossible- especially if they did not know exactly what lay beyond the walls.

"Anything suspicious?" Genma asked.

"Nothin'," Kakashi said.

"What do you think we should do?" Iruka asked.

"Hmm… I say we wait 'till nightfall, infiltrate the place, look for that scroll, and kill everyone who comes in our way," Kakashi stated calmly.

"And from the looks of it, that'd be quite a number of guards and lackeys too, but hey, why not? Killing all of them would be a breeze," Genma said with a consensual nod.

Both Iruka and Yuiko's eyes grew wide, Iruka nearly spraying the food in his mouth, and Yuiko dropping a heaping spoonful of vegetables on Kakashi's lap.

"Wait a sec!" Iruka blurted out after swallowing his food. "You can't just go in there and kill everyone in sight!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Yuiko protested.

"Why not? It's pretty easy with all four of us taking them on," Kakashi said, surprised at the sudden objection of the two.

"Jounins really are insane," Iruka said to Yuiko.

"Yes they are," Yuiko agreed.

"Well… what do you suggest we do then?" Genma asked.

"Can we not kill anyone if it's possible?" Iruka asked. "There's gotta be a way to get in there without attracting any attention. I say we try finding the location of the scroll first, and then retrieve it… _inconspicuously_."

"Hmm… then I guess we'll have to gather information first. We should all separate so we could cover more ground," Kakashi said.

Only a couple of minutes after the four split up to look for information, Iruka sensed that he was being followed, and very skillfully at that.

'Have we been found out?" he thought as his heart began to race. He decided his only option now was to try and lose his pursuer.

He walked for a few more paces to get a good sense of where his follower was, and more importantly, how dangerous he could be. He turned a corner into an alley and dashed towards a sizable pile of crates at the far end, hiding himself behind one of them. His eyes were wide and alert, and his heartbeat raced much like the time when he was fighting with Kakashi. In fact, this feeling was too familiar.

His pursuer emerged from the street, looking for him, and in that instant, Iruka decided to pop out in front of him.

"Kakashi-sensei, why were you following me?" he asked, in a tone he usually reserved for scolding his most mischievous students.

Kakashi's hand rubbed the back of his neck as he chuckled sheepishly. "You're good, Iruka. You found me out pretty quickly," he said.

"I thought we were supposed to go separate directions. You said it yourself! So why the heck were you following me?" Iruka asked.

"Would you believe me if I told you I just wanted to spend some time alone with you?" Kakashi said, titling his head to the side, reminding Iruka of a puppy waiting for his master's approval.

"Pfft. Don't make me laugh, Kakashi-sensei. You're probably just slacking off again," Iruka dismissed. He walked past Kakashi and out of the alley. Kakashi immediately followed and walked beside him.

"Hey, I'm serious, you know? And I'm not slacking off this time. Genma-san is getting on my nerves, and too much of Yuiko-san is giving me a headache," he explained. "Besides, I was ecstatic to finally go on a mission with you, but with them around, I can't even talk to you without one or both of them interrupting, and its getting frustrating. I wanna be with Iruka!" he complained like a little kid.

"Don't joke about embarrassing stuff!" Iruka told him off while trying desperately not to blush. How could Kakashi say something like that so easily?

"Why not? It's not a joke. It's the truth," Kakashi answered, his heart doing happy dances at the sight of Iruka blushing.

"You sound just like a kid," Iruka said, and he didn't mean it in a nice way.

"Ah then that's a good thing, right? Because you like kids a lot. That must mean… you're starting to like me too!" Kakashi happily remarked.

Iruka couldn't believe what he had just heard, if the outraged look on his face was any indication. "What kind of insane logic is that?! You're just so full of yourself, aren't you?"

"Yes I am," Kakashi agreed happily. "But I'm still right," he added, relishing the slightly annoyed look on Iruka's face, who was by that time trying to ignore him completely. 'It looks like the mission's starting to get really interesting.'

Iruka asked around town about the Platino clan in the pretense of looking for a job there. And Kakashi, well, he just tagged along.

"Ya want a job sonny? I could really use someone to scrub the muck off my pigpen right now," an old man proposed.

"Er, no thank you," Iruka declined. He walked away with a snickering Kakashi behind him. "And what's so funny?"

"Oh nothing. Just that people have been offering you these really odd jobs. Garbage boy, fish gutter, and oh yeah, fiancé to an old maid… twice!" Kakashi enumerated.

"Well, you COULD help instead of laughing all the time," Iruka grumbled.

"Fine, you want me to help? Let me do all the talking next time, okay?" Kakashi said.

"Sure. Be my guest," Iruka agreed.

"Aha, there!" Kakashi said, turning to walk to a young lady. "Stay there while I talk to her," he said.

"Well, this'll be good," Iruka said as he watched Kakashi approach the woman. They talked for a few minutes, and it looked like Kakashi wasn't making any progress. Then Kakashi leaned closer to her and whispered something in her ear. Iruka was suddenly feeling indignant. 'He's flirting to get information? I should have known,' Iruka thought. Then the woman glanced at Iruka and giggled, and they kept on talking, this time more animatedly. "Now what did he say to her?" Iruka wondered.

The woman went inside the house, and Kakashi turned around to glance at Iruka, and gave him a wave. A couple of minutes later, the woman came out and handed him a piece of paper. They exchange a few more words before Kakashi walked back to Iruka.

"So?" Iruka asked.

"Bingo," Kakashi said, brandishing the paper in front of Iruka's face.

"You just got lucky," Iruka said.

"Ah, never underestimate the information-gathering prowess of a jounin," Kakashi said smugly.

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. So what is it, oh mighty one?"

"So glad you finally accepted the facts," Kakashi said with a chuckle. "I'll tell you when we find the other two," he said.

They passed by the woman, and she waved happily at them. "Good luck, you two! I'll be rooting for you," she said giddily.

Iruka was perplexed. "What exactly did you say to her?" Iruka asked.

"Hmm… oh nothing, just like what you were asking people all this time," Kakashi said.

"Huh. I find that very hard to believe," Iruka said.

"Why don't you just trust me for once?" Kakashi said.

"Good afternoon, sir," Iruka said cheerily.

The guard looked at the brunette and pink-haired woman dressed in matching blue jumpsuits and holding brooms and rakes. "You're the new gardeners?" he asked.

"Yes we are!" Yuiko chirped.

"Where are your passes?" he asked.

"Right here," Iruka said, handing him a couple pieces of paper that Kakashi so skillfully got only moments ago. Speaking of which, Iruka took a glance at the direction of where his other two companions are hiding as he and Yuiko were led inside.

Kakashi grumbled from his seat atop a tree branch across the road from the compound. "I don't understand why I have to be with you instead of down there with Iruka," he complained to Genma who was sitting on another branch.

"Hey, don't blame your bad luck on me. We drew lots and got surveillance so we have to stay right here and let 'em do the work for now," Genma said. "Just think of it this way, at least your not stuck with her."

"Heh, good point."

"Wow, this place is Huuuge!" Yuiko said when the two of them were left to do their gardening duties. "Hey," she whispered, "how are we going to find the scroll in this place? We can't even get inside the house!"

"I have an idea," he said. He glanced around and saw a guard doing his rounds. "Excuse me," he said. "Could you tell me where the washroom is?" he asked politely.

"You can't go in the house alone. I'll lead you there," he said.

"Right. Thank you," Iruka said, glancing back and smiling at Yuiko, who beamed in return.

He was lead into the massive mansion and he noticed every door was closed, and there were several guards walking down every hallway.

"Don't take too long," the guard said as he opened the door to the washroom.

"Yes, of course," Iruka replied as he walked in and locked the door.

A few minutes later, Iruka came out of the room and closed the door behind him. "Thanks a lot. And I must say, I've never seen a bigger washroom in my entire life!" he said.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on now, outsiders shouldn't be in the house," the guard said.

"I understand. Lead the way," Iruka said with a smile.

When both men were out of sight, the door opened and the same guard that accompanied Iruka went out of the washroom. Looking around to see if anyone was there, the perfect copy of the guard smiled and walked on.

"The inside of the mansion is still full of guards. But there shouldn't be a problem to get around them. There are a couple of places where the scroll might be. If they're working on deciphering it, then they should be in a secluded room with lots of space. There's a room with double metal doors on the far end of the left wing. The other one is a basement, and from the looks of it, it doesn't have any other entrance except a small staircase at the right wing. Both are pretty easy to spot, but both heavily guarded," Iruka told his team members.

"Huh, okay then. Let's split up. Genma-san will take the left wing, and I'll take the basement. Yuiko-san'll provide support for Genma-san if he needs it, and Iruka will do the same for me. How's that sound?" Kakashi asked.

"Hmm… pretty easy, don't you think? Couldn't the Oros have gotten it back themselves?" Genma asked.

"We won't know unless we get it first," Kakashi said.

A guard walked down the dark hallway and noticed a small figure moving at the corner. He took a few cautious steps towards it and grimaced. "Yech. What a big rat!" he said. Then, to his surprise, the "rat" growled and leapt to his face, making him stumble to the floor. "Who's the rat?!" it said baring its canines and making a mad dash between the guard's legs. Only a quick girly yelp was heard before everything was once again deathly silent.

Kakashi whipped his head around when he heard the noise. Then from around the corner, Kakashi's trusty pug came running down the hallway. "I told you to distract the guard, not make noise," Kakashi said.

"Yeah, well he's plenty distracted now," Pakkun said.

Kakashi chuckled as he deftly destroyed the lock of the door with one flick of his wrist. He walked down the stairs, blending into the shadows expertly. The basement was dimly lit, and in the middle was a shrine-like area where four guards stood at attention on each corner. In the middle of the shrine was a jewel-encrusted box with its top open to reveal a simple yet old scroll. A 500-year-old silver scroll. 'Jackpot,' Kakashi thought. 'Won't Iruka be happy things turned out so well?'

The guards didn't even see it coming. One guard fell unconscious on the floor, the others so perplexed by what just happened and even more so when a silver-haired ninja appeared out of nowhere in front of them. "If you don't mind, I'm taking that scroll with me. I've got a brunette to impress," and before they could even react, they fell to the floor one by one in a dreamless sleep.

Iruka waited behind the bushes outside the east wing for Kakashi to surface. Or for Yuiko and Genma to appear. Anyone. It had been half an hour and still no sign of any activity. Was everything going well? He was, honestly, uncomfortable with all this waiting.

Then an alarm sounded and light flooded the surroundings. There was frantic shouting and running. Iruka felt his adrenaline pumping and he grabbed a kunai and whipped around when he felt a presence behind him. He tucked the weapon back into his pack when he realized it was only Kakashi. "You got it?" Iruka asked in urgency.

"I am a genius, you know," Kakashi said, patting his bag.

"Of course you are," Iruka humored him. "Let's go now before they find us," Iruka said, jumping up to the nearby tree.

" I didn't trigger that alarm, in case you were wondering," Kakashi said, following suit. "I would've preferred to just waltz out of here without them knowing. That way it'd be easier for all of us. It was probably the walking pin cushion that got careless and alerted everybody," he reasoned out as they maneuvered their way through the branches.

"I don't understand how you could be so calm about this. Actually starting a conversation like we're at a park or something! We're still in their territory, you know!" Iruka said. "We still have to deliver th-" Iruka was saying when Kakashi suddenly yanked him closer, Iruka's back flush against Kakashi's chest. Kakashi had an arm around his waist and another hand over his mouth, and it took a moment for Iruka to realize that a bunch of guards were searching the ground below.

Iruka's mentally told himself over and over again that it was just the adrenaline making his heart beat so much faster, and not the feeling of Kakashi's warm hand on his face, or his strong arm around his waist, holding him as if he were more precious than any 500-year-old treasure.

When the guards were out of sight, Kakashi removed his hand on Iruka's mouth. The chuunin breathed a sigh of relief, and then realized Kakashi's arm was still around his waist. "Ahm, Kakashi-sensei…" he began.

"Yeah?" Kakashi said, totally oblivious.

"Let go."

"Oh!" Kakashi said, releasing his hold on Iruka. "Heh. Got carried away," Kakashi said apologetically. "Let's just get outta here, I can't wait to get this mission done," Kakashi said, taking the lead and jumping to a tree outside the compound's walls with Iruka close on his tail. They met up with the other two on the rooftop of the restaurant they ate in, and wasted no time by starting on their journey back to the Oro's.

Iruka stared at Kakashi's back as they dashed atop rooftops. "It's just adrenaline, just adrenaline," he whispered to himself as they made their escape from the village of Gorrión and into the pitch-black night.

Extra1: So, what DID Kakashi say to the lady in the street?

"Hello," Kakashi greeted. "I'm in a bit of a pinch and I was wondering if you could help me," he said.

"Oh, sure. What is it?"

"I was wondering if you knew how I could get into that place over there?" he said, pointing to the Platino compound.

"That? Sorry, but no one can get in their without their permission," she said.

"There must be some way, I really need to get in."

"I don't see how. Today, I'm gonna do some gardening with my brother there, and even we need a pass," she explained.

"Oh?" Kakashi's face lit up, not that anybody could have seen. "Then you're the only one who could help me. Please, I really need to get in there," he begged. "See here," Kakashi said then leaned closer to her and whispered something in her ear. "That guy over there, I like him a lot. I was planning to confess to him tonight, but a bird flew in and snatched the ring I was supposed to give him. I ran after the bird and I saw it place the ring in a nest inside that fortress," he said, the lies flowing easily from his lips. "And now I can't confess to him. I really need that ring back," he said, trying to sound as desperate as possible.

"You like that guy there?" she asked, looking at Iruka's direction.

"Yeah, I do," Kakashi said, although this time he didn't need to lie for it.

Then she giggled. "He IS kinda cute," she said. "He reminds me of my math teacher."

"He does give off that teacher vibe, doesn't he? That's one of the reasons why I'm attracted to him," Kakashi said.

She giggled again. "All right then. I'd hate to see two lovers not being together because of me. I'll get the passes and give it to you. I didn't wanna work today anyway. Wait right here," she said before going in the house. "Ohh, this is just like one of those mangas I was reading," she said to herself. Needless to say, she was positively giddy.

Extra2: While Iruka and Kakashi were out looking for ways to get into the fortress, what were Genma and Yuiko doing?

Genma tailed the two ninjas from a safe distance, until he saw a flash of shocking pink hair. He approached Yuiko, who was hiding behind a stack of barrels. "What are you doing here?" he whispered to her.

Yuiko wasn't surprised to hear Genma's voice and continued to watch Kakashi and Iruka as they went from door to door. "I'm watching them," Yuiko replied.

"You're spying on them, aren't you?" Genma asked.

"So are you," she answered, then giggled when she saw Kakashi made Iruka blush again. "They're so cute!" she said.

Genma was beyond perplexed. "I thought you liked Kakashi-sensei?"

Yuiko looked back at Genma with big, wide eyes. "I do," she replied. "But I like Iruka-sensei too. He's so nice!" she nearly squealed. "And what about you, I don't see you clinging to Iruka-sensei now."

Then, something clicked inside their heads and they gasped in realization.

"Class T Mission, Bring Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei together!!!" they blurted out in unison.

They remained frozen there, gaping at each other in disbelief as their targets walked farther away. It seemed they've found an ally in their special mission. There was just one question that remained: Will these two be successful?

TBC.

AN.

So, how do you like it so far?

I would just like to say that I fully intended to keep my 1-month deadline before, however, I met with some very serious personal problems recently. I lost someone very important to me, and well, after that, I was in no condition to write anything worth reading. Eventually, I was buried in schoolwork and once again, writing took a backseat. It was only recently that I got back to writing, so I hope you'll understand. I will not promise you I could update regularly, but I still hope you continue to read my story. If not, I totally understand.

Well, now that the depressing stuff is over, I can now say with confidence that the next chapter will be up within a week or two. I'm just making some finishing touches on it so I hope you'll watch out for it. Like I said, chapter 9 will bring me so much closer to the rating I gave this fic, so that should be a good reason to come back and read it. And please, just so I know if anyone is still interested in reading what I have to write, please leave a review. Anything is appreciated. If you have any suggestions, send me an email, or pm me. I really appreciate those that do, because they're the ones that motivate me to write.

By the way, this fanfic is officially archived here only. I can't get in to aff anymore (too stupid to do anything about it), and I have no idea where else I could place this fic, so if you have any suggestions, that would be great too. I might have to start revising the first few chapters before I attempt to post this somewhere else.

Until next time,

SD


	9. Fear

Hi. Just as promised, here's the next installment. I was late one day for my self-imposed two-week deadline, but oh well. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimers from previous chapters still apply.

Chapter 9: Fear

Once the party reached the Oro clan fortress, the clan leader immediately took the treasure away as if it would burn to ashes in Kakashi's hands, and disappeared into the inner recesses of the house.

But they were not neglected at the very least. Even at midnight, the household was bustling and preparing rooms for the ninjas to stay in for the night. Within minutes, the four ninjas were lead to separate rooms, and instantly, Yuiko's squeals of excitement could be heard through the paper-thin walls of each room. Iruka looked around his room and wondered just what was so special about them. They were kind of big and cozy, with a small table on one side, a single bed that seemed comfortable enough, and… a balcony.

Iruka opened the sliding doors and walked out to the balcony that he discovered he shared with the other ninjas' rooms.

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei, look!!!" Yuiko called out from the left. She was leaning on the railing so much Iruka thought it was a miracle she hasn't tipped over yet. Genma was at the far left of the balcony looking around the scene.

Iruka leaned over to see what the fuss was about, and his eyes grew wide with amazement. The house stood at a sharp cliff, and under the balcony was a raging river at least 100 feet below. Even in the almost blackness of the surroundings, the white waters of the rapids could clearly be seen. "Wow," Iruka whispered, gripping the railing tighter with his hands that felt cold and tingly all of a sudden.

"Yeah, wow," Kakashi agreed as he emerged from the other room to his right.

They stood side by side admiring the view from above when Yuiko's excited voice rang out again. "Oh my! This balcony is PERFECT for couples!" she squealed. "Sooo romantic, don't you think so, Genma-san?" she asked with a wink.

"Oh, yeah, yeah. This place is almost like a love hotel with a scenic view and all…" Genma answered, his voice a little louder than usual.

Iruka looked at Kakashi and Kakashi stared right back at him. Iruka's heart began to pound harder when he realized just how close Kakashi was. And from the way they stood, shoulder to shoulder, it almost looked like they WERE a couple, and it embarrassed Iruka to no end.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was mesmerized by Iruka's face illuminated only by the dim light of the moon. Damn. Even the darkness couldn't lessen his beauty, and with him blushing oh so innocently like that, well, it was near impossible not to fall more in love with him. The atmosphere really was something here, and when Kakashi realized he'd been staring far too long that it became awkward, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat.

Genma yawned exaggeratedly loud. "I guess I'm gonna turn in for the night," he said as he made his retreat to his room.

Yuiko took a quick glance at the other two ninjas doing the staring contest and giggled. "I'm sleepy too. Good thing the bed looked so big and comfy!" she said before bounding into her own room.

Kakashi chuckled, and looked back down at the rapids below. "So this whole house is built on a cliff huh? Imagine, if you fall from here, no amount of charka control will stop that from hurting. It'd feel like a thousand belly flops!" Kakashi said in an amused tone.

"Why do I get the feeling you're the kind of person who'd jump here just to see what it's like?" Iruka said.

"Nuh-uh, not me. Nothing's gonna make me jump there. Do you know how long it takes for me to fix my hair? This right here," he said pointing to the unruly upsweep of his silver hair, "is pure art."

Iruka looked at him skeptically, "Oh really? I thought that's just a severe case of bed head," he said.

"Ohohoho, look who's talking. What's up with that suuuuper tight ponytail? It's not a crime to have a stray strand of hair once in a while, you know. In fact," he said, reaching a hand out and…

"…I'd say that you look ten times better this way," Kakashi said.

Iruka's eyes grew to epic proportions as he saw Kakashi's hands flash behind his head and all of a sudden, his long brown hair fell and was quickly swept by the strong wind, instantly covering half of his face, his forehead protector rendered useless as it dropped around his neck. "Kakashi-sensei!!!" he told him off as his hands flew to prevent his hair from going to his face. "That wasn't funny. Give it back," he said.

"I wasn't making fun of you," Kakashi said. "But I AM tempted to keep this just so I can always see you with your hair down."

"Haha, not gonna happen. Now please, Kakashi-sensei, give me back my hair tie," Iruka said.

"Nope, I think I'll just keep this," Kakashi said, inserting the said hair tie inside his front vest pocket.

Iruka was about to protest when a servant girl went out to the balcony. "Excuse me," she said, "the kitchen prepared a special meal for you if you wish to eat."

"Oh, no thank you, it's late and…" Iruka said.

"Sure, that'd be great!" Kakashi interjected. "In fact, I'd like to eat mine in his room if that's okay," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-sensei what are you-" Iruka was starting to say but was interrupted by the girl.

"So that would be two dinners?" she asked.

"Yes," Kakashi affirmed, and the girl left without another word.

"What was that all about?" Iruka inquired in a slightly irritated voice.

"They prepared a meal," Kakashi said as if that explained everything.

"But couldn't you eat in your own room?" Iruka complained as he followed Kakashi who just casually waltzed inside the chuunin's room.

The jounin inspected the room, turning an empty flower vase around as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. He pulled his mask down and blew the dust off of the vase and set it back down on the table. "Nice vase," he said. "Hand painted too."

"Kakashi-sensei! Can you please focus?" Iruka said.

"Mmm? Oh, right, well I just don't feel like eating alone," Kakashi said. A strong wind blew the door shut, and he turned back around to look at Iruka, expecting to see the chuunin's face half-covered by his hair. But what he saw made his jaw immediately drop. "Ah! How did you?!" he said, pointing an accusing finger at Iruka, who had his hair back in that same, tight, ponytail he usually wore. He took a peek at his vest and found his pocket open and the hair tie missing then looked back at Iruka as if he was making sure it wasn't an illusion.

"Heh, not bad… for a chuunin," Kakashi said.

Usually, a remark like that would make the said chuunin fume, but not this time. Iruka wasn't about to rise to the bait. "I'm surprised you didn't notice sooner, Kakashi-sensei. And I thought you were supposed to be a genius," he said with a triumphant smirk.

Kakashi laughed at Iruka's surprising retort. "I knew there was a reason why I like you," Kakashi said.

"You what?" Iruka asked, his expression a blend of sheer shock and bewilderment. Did he just hear that right?

Kakashi froze and in that instant, he remembered just why elders tell kids to think before they say anything.

'Ho-oly crap!' Kakashi's mind screamed. He cleared his throat, thinking of a million and one ways to get out of this, preferably alive and in one piece. And for all his experience conjuring up fairytale stories and wild lies to tell his team of genins, this time he came up with a disappointing blank.

"Uhh… I like you?" he said, and he immediately cursed himself to the high heavens when his voice came out like a squeak. 'Oh way to go, that was soooo uncool,' Kakashi's mind berated himself.

Then, he could seriously hear the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears waiting for what Iruka would say next. Kakashi could have sworn the silence stretched a full, agonizing minute before Iruka finally reacted.

"Pfft. Oh come on, like I'd believe that silly joke," Iruka said with a chuckle.

The jounin's jaw literally dropped as he suddenly felt indignant at being disregarded just like that. Why, he was actually nervous that time, and Iruka just laughed at him? "But it's no joke!" Kakashi said, "It's the truth," Kakashi tried to explain.

However, Iruka was still chuckling, and it was evident he wasn't getting through at all. "You really had me going there for a second. Come on, you can stop with the joke, I get it already," Iruka said.

"You don't understand," Kakashi insisted. "I LIKE YOU," he said again, and with much more conviction this time.

The smile faded from Iruka's face as the reality of the situation started to kick in. It was probably another minute before he was able to produce a sound.

"So," Iruka began slowly, "you mean to say," he paused again, cleared his throat, and continued, "that you… like… me…?"

"Well, yeah. That's what I've been saying. How many times do you want me to say it? I like you, Iruka. I really, really do," Kakashi confessed. He never imagined he'd be revealing his affections towards the younger man this soon, but since he accidentally let it out, he might as well make it crystal clear.

Iruka still seemed a bit out of it. Like he's still stuck in the denial stage. Unable to comprehend such an impossible situation, he's stuck in limbo between 'is this real' and 'have I gone mad?'

Kakashi could only brace himself for the outburst that would come next. What he got was something else entirely.

"Okay. You like me," Iruka said with as much feeling as cardboard. "I'm gonna go jump off the balcony now," he said, turning to walk back out to the ledge.

"Wait!" Kakashi grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer.

If Iruka didn't know how to react with the confession before, well, he was even more dumbfounded and utterly shocked with what happened next.

Kakashi leaned in and kissed him.

Kissed him.

Frustrated at being treated as a joke, Kakashi kissed Iruka, hoping that what he didn't understand with his words, he would understand with his actions.

If their first kiss was soft and tender, this second one was nothing but. Kakashi was unyielding, his tongue, his mouth, his lips claiming Iruka's own as if the world would crumble if he stopped. It was pure passion, the kind that made Iruka melt into Kakashi's arms, the kind that made his heart race and left his mind blank and his senses tuned in to that overwhelming feeling alone. It was the kind of kiss that made him realize that Kakashi's "like" meant more than just a simple "like." It was definitely more than just "like." It was…

They broke the kiss a few moments later out of sheer need to breathe. By this time, Kakashi had his arms around Iruka's waist and the chuunin was far from noticing it. Kakashi licked his bottom lip as he very contently and smugly gazed at Iruka's flushed face, dazed eyes and parted and slightly swollen lips. Damn, was Iruka sexy.

"So," he began, enjoying the fact that Iruka seemed to be breathing heavily, and it didn't look like it was from air deprivation at all, "you still don't believe me?"

"You kiss good," Iruka said in a soft, dazed voice.

Kakashi chuckled. "Yeah I do, don't I?"

Iruka frowned and pushed Kakashi away. "You're just so full of yourself."

Kakashi was not one to let a good opportunity pass, and so he held Iruka closer despite his efforts to push him away. "Come on," he smirked and leaned in closer again until they were nose to nose, "aren't you even curious about what else I can do really good?" he whispered.

With Kakashi's face so close to his, Iruka couldn't help but notice just how stunningly handsome Kakashi was. Why he would hide such a gorgeous face behind a mask was beyond him. But more than that, the chuunin was taken aback by the look in Kakashi's mesmerizing eyes. His pupils were dilated, and both blue and red orbs were burning with intense passion, the kind that made Iruka feel like Kakashi could eat him up alive right then and there. Iruka desperately tried to resist, but when Kakashi's lips claimed his again, he found there was no merit in resisting at all.

Kakashi pressed his body closer to Iruka's, especially when he felt the other man melt into his arms. His lust surged and the desire to feel every inch of Iruka's skin on his fingertips threatened to overwhelm him. He kissed him deeper as one of his hands moved to remove Iruka's vest.

Iruka gasped and broke the kiss when he realized that Kakashi had opened his vest and his hand was snaking its way under his shirt. "Kakashi-sen…ahh!" he gasped again when Kakashi's hand found a nipple.

"Ah…st-stop…please…" Iruka was barely coherent as Kakashi teased his flesh with his fingers, and started licking his ear and moving his way down to his neck.

"Don't tell me to stop now, Iruka, coz nothing's gonna make me stop…" he said as he slipped the vest off Iruka's shoulders and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud.

Iruka was about to attempt a protest, but he was intoxicated by the electric feeling of Kakashi's lips and tongue on his neck that he couldn't care less that Kakashi seemed intent on divesting him of all his clothing. He was halfway there, too, when Kakashi deftly slipped Iruka's shirt off his arms and head.

Iruka was unable to stifle a gasp of surprise when Kakashi bent down and captured a nipple in his mouth even as his fingers teased the other. The chuunin's hands instinctively flew to the back of Kakashi's head, urging him for more. The jounin complied and bit the hardened nub lightly, earning another gasp of surprise from Iruka.

By this time, all rational thought had fled Iruka's mind, and all he could think and feel was Kakashi. Kakashi moving to his other nipple, sucking and licking and, oh god, biting it just hard enough for it to sting and feel so good at the same time. His arms move to circle Kakashi's back, and found the rough material of Kakashi's vest to be very unappealing. He had not realized he was pulling at the garment as if to get rid of it until Kakashi moved away to remove his own vest, mask, bags and whatever else ninjas usually carry. Soon, Kakashi's shirt was gone as well, and before Iruka had time to appreciate Kakashi's bare torso, he felt the foot of the bed at the back of his knees and fell backwards with a little bounce. Somehow, Kakashi had managed to move the both of them a few steps towards the bed, the sly bastard. And now, Kakashi was on top of him, and back to kissing him like he was out to prove that 'you kiss good' was an understatement.

Lying like this, Iruka could feel every inch of Kakashi's body on his own, from his broad shoulders, to his well-defined torso, those perfect abs, and even lower to that unmistakable hardness pressed against his thigh through their pants. It made Iruka's body warm everywhere, made the passion he felt surge to new heights, knowing that he was the cause of the great Hatake Kakashi's current state of arousal. Iruka didn't realize how much Kakashi was affecting him as well, until of course the jounin decided to surprise him yet again by rubbing Iruka's erection, making him arch of the bed and moan rather loudly.

Iruka didn't mind the smirk playing on Kakashi's face as the older man continued to rub his erection through the cloth of his pants. With his free hand, Kakashi moved to remove the tie that bound Iruka's hair, because really, he had a thing for hair as gorgeous as Iruka's.

"Ohh, if you could only see how sexy you look…" Kakashi said. Once unbound, Iruka's hair splayed on the sheets like a pool of dark liquid, along with his flushed face, lust-glazed eyes and sensuous lips, Iruka painted an ethereal image no one, man or woman alike, could ever resist. 'And he's here, with me,' a thought that elated Kakashi and made him feel like the luckiest guy on the face of the planet.

But, apparently, his luck started to run out the moment someone knocked on the door.

"Excuse me, I'm here to deliver your meals," the girl waiting outside the door said.

Kakashi had no intention to stop, and to silence any protests from the gorgeous man lying beneath him, he kissed him again, and even going as bold as to slip his hand inside Iruka's pants to feel his erection on his own skin.

Iruka moaned and broke the kiss once the knocking on the door resumed. "Ahh… th-the-ah…do-door…" Trying to string a sentence much less think while a devastatingly gorgeous man was stroking his erection seemed an impossible feat, but he tried nonetheless.

"Fuck!" Kakashi cursed. Turning his head to the direction of the door, he called out, "Uh, yeah, could you leave it by the door? We're kinda busy."

Iruka's cheeks flamed even more and he managed an indignant, "Kakashi-sensei!!!"

"Yes, sir. I'll leave the tray here," the girl said.

As the girl spoke, Kakashi not once stopped stroking Iruka, and when his thumb teased the head of his cock, Iruka moaned loudly. Realizing his mistake, Iruka covered his mouth, embarrassed and slightly irked by Kakashi deviously grinning. "Not so loud," Kakashi whispered in Iruka's ear before he licked and bit on his earlobe.

The girl spoke through the door again. "Also, the clan leader wishes to speak with your team leader as possible," she said.

"Yes, We'll come, for sure," he called out to the girl, the double meaning was not lost on Iruka, who was at the mercy of Kakashi's skillful hands.

"Very well then, I shall inform him," she said. Kakashi didn't even bother to listen for her footsteps walking away before pulling Iruka's pants down to his knees to expose his erection and continue stroking.

"Wait!" Iruka said, grabbing Kakashi's hand to stop him. "We should stop."

"I told you, nothing's gonna make me stop," Kakashi said, and even while his hand was captured by Iruka, his other one was caressing his thigh.

"What about the clan leader?" Iruka asked, almost breathlessly.

"Mmm, yes, we shouldn't keep him waiting, huh?" Kakashi said. "So you should help me out a bit with this," he said. He pulled his own pants down and guided Iruka's hand towards his erection. "And we'll leave the really good part for later," he said with a chuckle.

Iruka looked down and blushed when he saw his hand wrapped around Kakashi's massive length. No wonder Kakashi had that arrogance and self-confidence about him. He had the goods to back it up.

When Kakashi resumed his stroking, Iruka mimicked him and glided his hand up and down Kakashi's erection. For the first time that night, he had the satisfaction of hearing Kakashi moan, and he found that the sound only spurred him on.

Together, they stroked each other's lengths, as they shared kiss after scorching kiss. Before long, both men were on the brink of release. It was Iruka who teetered over the edge first, trying to hold back his moan and spilling his seed all over Kakashi's hand and both their stomachs. His release triggered Kakashi's, and soon the older man's cock spurted streams of semen and mixed with Iruka's own cum between their bodies.

They lay there for a few moments, Kakashi slowly crushing Iruka into the mattress but both unwilling to move. Kakashi was still taking it all in, how his earlier blunder of a confession got Iruka to finally allow him to touch him. Although they couldn't go all the way, which was a damn misfortune, he was confident that time would not be far away.

When the haze of his orgasm was slowly fading away, Iruka's mind began to catch up with him, and one thought dominated his thoughts, 'Oh my god, what just happened?' He was never in such an intimate situation with another person, but there he was, in the same bed as a man, Kakashi no less, and he just let him do those things to him… even that, and if it weren't for the blessing of an interruption, that could have easily progressed to so much more. Iruka's face reddened just thinking about it. Oh, he was in really deep shit now. He looked to his side, where Kakashi had rolled over, and he found the older man staring back at him with a smug look. "What's with that smirk?" Iruka asked, a bit irked at the thought that Kakashi might have done this as a sort of joke.

"Oh? Was I smirking? I didn't realize," he said, feigning innocence. Then, just like that, he switched gears. "It must be because seeing you lying naked like that makes me want to do all sorts of nasty things to you," he said, with a sly grin and again with that smoldering look in his eyes.

"You sound like a perverted old man!" Iruka said, blushing furiously, and trying his best to pull his pants up, which was proving to be quite a challenge, what with Kakashi still half on top of him and seemingly intent on staying that way.

"Do you want to see just how perverted I can be?" he asked with a husky voice, his hand sliding down to touch Iruka's thigh oh so close to his groin. He couldn't help but chuckle when Iruka blushed even more. He just enjoyed seeing Iruka red as a tomato.

Apparently Iruka didn't enjoy it as much, because the next thing Kakashi knew, he was pushed off the bed and he landed on his bare butt on the floor with a loud thud. "Ouch, that hurt!" he said, rubbing his backside. "I was only joking. You are SO not romantic at all," he complained like a little kid.

Iruka grabbed the sheet and wiped off all the sticky stuff on his abdomen and groin before yanking his boxers and pants up. He was doing it so hastily that it seemed he was so worried that any more time he spent naked, Kakashi would jump him again. "Were you just joking about liking me too, is that it?" Iruka asked, and he didn't like how bitter he sounded, nor how his heart sunk at the very thought that Kakashi could be making fun of him again.

"Hey," Kakashi said, gentler this time. He pulled himself up and sat on the bed beside Iruka. "Do you always doubt everyone that shows the least bit interested in you?" he asked in the same gentle tone.

Iruka didn't answer and just looked at his hands on his lap, and the unmistakable scars on his arms. He didn't have an answer.

Kakashi saw the confusion and doubt playing on Iruka's face. He leaned towards Iruka and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I know I can be unreliable sometimes, and I may not strike you as the most serious person in the world, but I wasn't joking when I told you I wanted to help you," he said, capturing one of Iruka's hands in his own, "I like you. Please, you have to trust me on this. I'm not forcing you to like me back. And hey, if you don't like me touching you anymore, I get that," he said, moving his hand away from Iruka's, in case he gets shoved off the bed again. "Although it would be difficult not to get aroused when I see you, I'm sure I can control myself…" he explained. "…or jerk-off somewhere," he added as an afterthought.

"You really are obscene," Iruka said with a soft chuckle.

"Oh you haven't seen or heard the half of it," Kakashi said, smiling back. He was glad to see his efforts were working. "Now, let's eat first, then I'll meet with Mr. clan leader, then we can set off in search of the bath afterwards, what do you say? Because believe me, even if you wipe it off, it'll still feel sticky afterwards."

Iruka smiled. "A bath sounds nice."

"We can share a shower or a soak in a tub if you're interested," Kakashi propositioned.

"Don't push your luck, Kakashi-sensei."

In the other room, two ninjas had their ears pressed against the thin wall. When it seemed the occupants of the adjacent room were now busy eating, they moved away from the wall.

"I believe you owe me a hundred bucks," Genma said triumphantly.

Yuiko grinned. "Not a chance. Yuiko was right. The bet was if they'd go all the way tonight. They didn't. So pay up," she said.

"Damn Kakashi. I thought he said nothing was gonna make him stop. Che, you were just lucky that servant came when she did," Genma said as he pulled out his wallet and grudgingly took a hundred bucks out of it.

"It wasn't luck. Even if she didn't come, they wouldn't have gone all the way."

"Oh? Please, explain to me," Genma said.

"Well, it's their first time together, naturally Kakashi-sensei would want to take things slower because he knows what a gentle-soul Iruka-sensei is. He'd want to show Iruka-sensei just how much he cares for him with every touch, every caress, every kiss. And that takes time, so a quickie just wouldn't do. It wouldn't be romantic enough. For love to flourish between them, everything has to be right!" she explained slowly.

Genma was suddenly horrified. "You're freaking me out."

"Genma-san? Didn't you know? Yuiko is a fan girl at heart," she said with another wide grin.

Still, that horrified look on Genma's face persisted. "Fan girls are so scary…"

"The food's not bad. Looks like they're not so stingy after all," Iruka commented as they began to eat together. They used the small side table to place their trays on and sat on the bed next to each other, Iruka thankful for the little blessing of Kakashi agreeing to wear his pants again.

"Naturally, they got what they wanted," Kakashi said.

"Think of it this way, at least we get to rest a little before we return to Konoha," Iruka said.

"It's not like the mission was all that taxing. A team of genins could've done the job," Kakashi said.

"Let's just be thankful that we did not face any real danger, and we can all go safely home without a scratch on our bodies," Iruka said.

"I'm just saying, it was soOo anti-climactic," Kakashi said.

"Better than a mission helping in a farm," Iruka said with a chuckle.

"Oh, the noisy brat told you about that?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, Naruto told me about it, and how they failed miserably to see what's under your mask. You should have heard all their expectations, it was so hilarious," Iruka said with that same sparkle in his eyes every time it was about the blonde-haired boy.

'Again,' Kakashi thought with a tinge of jealously. 'When it's all about Naruto, he gets so… so… happy,' he thought. Then, the cogs inside his head started turning and he leaned closer to Iruka. "And… what about you?" Kakashi said. "You've seen what's under my mask. Was I up to your expectations?" he said, taking a slow sip from his cup.

Iruka dared not to turn his head to look at Kakashi. He knew just how close Kakashi was leaning towards him. If he turned his head, his face would be a few inches away from the jounin's. Even after what they just did, he found the close proximity of the other man to be unnerving. "No," he replied with conviction.

"Wh-?!" Kakashi was caught off guard and nearly choked on his drink. Oh, now Iruka's just being cute. "Your so mean," Kakashi said.

"And you!" Iruka blurted out, as if realization just struck him at that very moment. "Where'd you hide my hair tie again?" Iruka said, brushing off strands of hair that fell to his face.

"I'm not saying a word. I like your hair that way, makes you look more seductive," Kakashi said.

"Oh no, don't tell me you have a hair fetish?" Iruka's face threatened to lose all color.

"What if I do, huh?" Kakashi teased, reaching out to twirl a lock of Iruka's hair.

Iruka blushed and stood up immediately. "I'm looking for that hair tie right now," Iruka said.

Kakashi had to laugh at how comical Iruka looked blushing and embarrassed as he sifting through the almost endless pockets in Kakashi's vest on the floor. He finished his meal and stood up to get dressed. "You finished with that?" he asked Iruka who was still busy looking through the vest.

"Nope, you keep two… oh wait, three volumes of Icha-Icha in your vest?" Iruka asked.

"Hey, those are survival supplies! Now, can I have it back? It's not there, you know," Kakashi said.

"Fine, there," Iruka said, handing the vest to Kakashi.

"Don't worry, I won't attack you anymore tonight. At least not until after I meet with the clan leader," he said, flashing another devious smirk at Iruka before covering his face with his mask.

"Not gonna happen so just go ahead and meet with him. You're making the client wait!" Iruka said, literally pushing Kakashi out of the door, and shutting it in his face. He turned around to look for his own clothes scattered on the floor, and noticed that Kakashi had left his hip pouch on the floor. Iruka trudged to the said pouch and picked it up. He failed to realize it was open so when he picked it up, the contents came spilling out. There were very few standard issue items, such as a couple of bottles of antidotes, a healing balm, and a roll of bandage. Other than that, the pouch was mostly filled with useless stuff… an alarming number of official Icha-icha merchandise such as key chains, button pins, and several collectible cards of the book's characters in rather obscene poses. There was also filthy paper shuriken, a wallet designed as a dog head with its tongue sticking out, a couple of suspicious-looking candies that might have been stored in the pouch for too long, a hair tie…

"Ah! Found it!" Iruka said in triumph as he picked the hair tie up. He immediately pulled his hair back and tied it. It was then that he noticed something glint from under all those stuff. He pushed the cards and key chains aside and just stared at the glinting metal. He felt like all the blood was draining from his face, and he couldn't move.

It was a kunai. And not just any kunai… his kunai.

He felt the chunks rise up his throat as he picked it up. It looked like any ordinary kunai, but there was no mistaking it. It was his kunai, the very same one he used to slash himself over and over again, and the same kunai he used to defend himself during the test. He didn't know what to think, what to do, how to react. "What is Kakashi-sensei doing with this?" he thought aloud. "He knew, he knew it was what I used, and I dropped it fighting him… why did he pick it up, why did he keep it? Is this another joke?" he asked himself.

Then, thoughts of what Kakashi said came back to him…

"…I wasn't joking when I told you I wanted to help you. I like you. Please, you have to trust me on this."

"Trust… I have to trust him…" he whispered. He decided to place everything back into the pouch. One by one, he returned every item inside the pouch. When everything else was inside, he looked at the kunai in his hand, and hesitated to put it back. The familiar feel of the handle in his hand, the coldness of the metal, it brought back memories… and it made his wounds itch. The urge to see his blood trickling down his arms returned, and Iruka shut his eyes, forcing himself to stop thinking about the sting of a blade cutting across his skin. "I have to trust him," he repeated, placing the kunai back into the pouch hastily. "But why is it so hard to do that?" he asked himself, clutching the pouch in his hands.

All this time, Iruka saw Kakashi's sincerity in his actions, his clingy attitude, his teases, even his touches, his kisses. All of them felt so real to him. It was the first time in a long, long while since he felt that someone actually cared for him, since he felt needed, even loved. Suddenly, it was as if Kakashi had assumed a larger part in his life, and it hurt to even think it was all a lie.

He sat there on the floor, unsure of what to do. He thought for a while, and tried to settle his emotions. Finally, he decided. "There must be a logical explanation," he said. "I have to ask him about this," he said before he dressed up hastily and left the room in search of Kakashi.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was in a dimly lit room, waiting for the clan leader. It was the same room where they first met the clan leader, and looking around, he noticed for the first time that there were doors leading to a balcony on the other side, the same with their rooms. There were also satin-covered pillows and gold-colored ropes hanging from the ceiling at the place where the clan leader sat previously. It was like a throne, and the said throne was still empty, much to Kakashi's annoyance. 'Damn it, I could still be with Iruka right now. I thought the clan leader was the one who needed to talk to me.' he thought. Then, as if answering Kakashi's thoughts, the clan leader arrived with a couple of servant girls in tow. Kakashi was alarmed to see them carrying the scroll inside the room. 'Is something wrong with it?' Kakashi thought.

"Good evening, how are you enjoying your stay?" the clan leader asked.

"Well enough," Kakashi replied. "What is it that you want to talk to me about? I'm positive we got the right scroll."

"Oh yes, yes you did, and we are very thankful for your services," the clan leader replied. Kakashi's narrowed his eyes. Something was off. He couldn't have been brought here, alone, if only to thank him for a job well done. "In fact, we are very grateful you've made the job a whole lot easier for us," the old man said, and in that instant Kakashi's instincts kicked in and he stood in alarm when the leader took the scroll into his hands.

"What job would that be?" Kakashi asked. If it was just the old man and the two servants, he could take them on, no problem. Iruka and the others were nearby as well.

"Why, finally putting an end to our rival clan, of course," he said.

It was at that time that Iruka walked in the room with a confused expression on his face. He heard what the leader said, and he sensed something fishy was going on as well, if Kakashi's elevated charka was any indication. "What do you mean?" Iruka asked.

"Oh so glad you could join us," the old man greeted in false amiability. "Very interesting thing, this scroll," he began, turning the scroll over in his hands. "Our clan has been trying to steal this for a long time now, and thanks to you, we now have the Platino clan treasure in our hands."

"What?!" Iruka blurted out, unable to hide his surprise. "Kakashi-sensei!" He called out and looked at Kakashi in alarm and was surprised that he looked calm and composed despite his flaring charka.

"You've been trying to steal it for a long time? Boy, your guys sure are weak. We could've done it with blindfolds, with our hands and feet bound, and with a rabid dog tied to our neck," Kakashi answered, and it visibly irked the old man.

"I don't think you are in any position to be so cocky," the clan leader said through gritted teeth.

"Oh I think I can. We stole the treasure from the real owners, and we can take it back just as easily," Kakashi said.

"Is that so? I'm sorry to shatter your illusions, but I'm afraid there'd be no taking the treasure back. In fact, I don't think any one of you could ever set foot out of this house alive," the leader threatened.

"You don't seem to realize it, but you made a grave mistake when you chose to hire us. No one gets away with tricking Konoha shinobis," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-sensei! We should warn Genma-san and Yuiko-san!" Iruka interjected. His heart was pounding so hard; he can't help but worry about their comrades.

"Your companions? I'm afraid they're preoccupied as of now. Despite what you think, we DO have skilled fighters in our ranks," he said, and as if to prove his point, loud noises sounded through the house, like that of breaking glass and of a body being violently thrown to the wall.

"Don't worry about them, Iruka," Kakashi said in an attempt to keep Iruka calm. "They can hold their own."

"I wouldn't worry about them right now. You see---"

"You're starting to piss me off, old man," Kakashi said, and this time there was no jesting in his voice. "Just get on with whatever you're planning. We all know it's not gonna work."

The old man was fuming now. "You want to die so badly? Then I shall grant your wish. Tell me, oh dear ninjas of Konoha…" he said as he peeled the first few inches of the scroll, "…what is it you fear the most?" he asked, and in one swift movement, he unfurled the scroll and the room was filled with bright light.

"That's impossible!" Iruka exclaimed. 'They couldn't have broken the seal so quickly. Unless, they lied about that too,' he thought. For a moment, the light blinded Iruka and he did not know what to do. What if they HAD broken the seal, and they were now trapped in an inescapable illusion? 'It doesn't matter!' Iruka thought, 'I've lived in fear all my life, there's nothing this illusion can show me that will scare me as much,' he thought.

Seeing the bright light from outside, Yuiko and Genma ran towards the room, having disposed of their opponents. When they reached the room, they could not see anything but white everywhere.

Once the light subsided, the four ninjas were surrounded by guards- and not the ones that can go down with one hit.

"Come, let me show you the meaning of fear!" the old man said.

"Not a chance," Kakashi scoffed, and in the blink of an eye, he was in front of the clan leader, holding a kunai to his throat. "Now just hand over that scroll and we'll be going on our way," he said, his voice low and menacing. The copy-nin was all business now.

For a moment, the clan leader was visibly shaken, but he composed himself. "You think you can kill me with your parlor tricks?" he asked, and with that, the servant girls standing on either side of him whipped out scythes and slashed at Kakashi, taking the ninja by surprise. Kakashi leapt backwards and before his feet even touched the ground, Iruka dashed toward the clan leader. He lunged forward, narrowly escaping two scythes that sliced through the air. The chuunin knocked one girl away with a roundhouse kick and the other with a lunge punch before he reached his hand out to grab the scroll.

Everything happened in mere seconds. Iruka's fingertips had barely touched the scroll, and Kakashi's feet had just touched ground when pandemonium erupted in a blur of punches and kicks, blows and strikes enough to fracture bones and send bodies flying everywhere.

The guards came at the four ninjas from every direction. Iruka withdrew his hand immediately when a guard dared to kick him from behind. He whipped around and caught the man's foot in one hand, twisted it in an uncomfortable angle, and flung the man towards another couple of guards on the attack. The chuunin blocked a punch to his face with his arm and knocked a knife out of a guard's hand with his other elbow.

On any other time, the sickening sounds of breaking bones and tearing flesh would have made Iruka flinch, but he was busy dodging blows and sharp objects to really be worried about anything else. In a split second, he saw a glimpse of silver hair as it disappeared behind the numerous guards before said guards were sent flying to the opposite wall hard enough to crack concrete and human sculls.

As Iruka defended himself against the guards, he stole quick glances at his comrades just to see how they were faring. The guards were by no means more skilled then any one of them. Simple ninjutsu could take them out, but their sheer number worked well to their favor. Iruka was worried about his companions. He couldn't help it.

His eyes quickly scanned the scene. He already saw Kakashi and those poor souls who dared to attack him. He now looked for the other two, and found Genma on the other side of the room hauling two men up by their collars and throwing them against the surrounding guards. And near him was Yuiko, and for a moment Iruka was worried about their only female team member. However, as soon as he saw Yuiko knee a guard in the crotch so violently that it could send shivers down any man's spine, Iruka was convinced he had nothing to worry about but his own hide.

Iruka caught a man's arm and threw him over his shoulder where he landed right in front of the clan leader. He looked at the old man's face and found him looking on safely and smiling. 'What the heck is he smirking for?' Iruka thought. Sure enough, his guards were losing. Their numbers were dwindling and all four Konoha shinobis were far from exhausted.

Then a scythe swooshed right in front of his face, missing him by a mere inch as he leaned backwards. He almost forgot about those pesky girls and their scythes. He leapt backwards as the servant girls focused their attentions on him once more. They were skilled, probably more so than almost all the guards in the room, and before Iruka knew it, his back met the cold wall that separated the room from the balcony outside. He was cornered. The girls struck again simultaneously and Iruka just barely dodged them. Both servants raised their scythes once more, ready to strike, but was knocked to the side by a guard's lifeless body thrown at them purposefully.

Iruka looked at the direction where the unexpected help came from, and saw Kakashi giving him a wave. "You needed a hand," Kakashi managed to call out to Iruka even as he was fighting off several rather feisty guards. Iruka managed to smile a little as he began exchanging blows with guards, as the scythe-wielders were currently incapacitated.

Within moments, every guard left standing was dealt with. The floor was lined with bodies of nameless guards, either unconscious or dead.

"Give up, old man," Kakashi said, throwing the listless body of a guard to the side. "These were just a bunch of lowlifes who can't even fight. Too bad your illusion didn't work."

"Oh? I won't be too sure of that," the clan leader said with an ominous grin. Just then, the servant girls stood up somewhat shakily from where they were thrown. One of the girls walked to the old man's side. "You must have noticed, this whole house is built on top of a cliff," He said before he snapped his fingers, and the servant beside him pulled one of the ropes hanging from the ceiling. There was a huge explosion from the balcony and Kakashi was horrified when he realized the explosion had been fatally near where Iruka stood.

In that split second, Kakashi's head whipped to the side, and he saw Iruka being thrown off his feet, the floor below him crumbling into pieces and falling to the river below.

Iruka could have easily regained his balance, or teleported himself to a part of the room that was still in tact had it not been for one of the servants who decided to attack him just as the explosion occurred. Everything happened within a fraction of a second that there was no way for Iruka to dodge the girl's attack. The scythe ripped through vest, shirt, and flesh, and Iruka was sent flying out of the gaping hole made by the blast. Kakashi felt like his heart would stop when he realized Iruka was falling… falling down to the raging river.

He saw it so clearly, every detail, the splash of blood, the glint of the blade, even the look of horror on Iruka's face, the look of a man facing certain death. It was like everything was happening in agonizingly slow motion.

Kakashi screamed Iruka's name.

As Iruka fell towards the river, he thought with some detachment, 'So this is how I'm going to die.' Then he heard Kakashi call out his name, and before he realized it, his eyes had watered and tears spilled from his eyes and floated upwards like stars twinkling in the black night.

And just before the torrid waters swallowed him up, for a brief moment, he saw an image that he thought was just conjured up by his imagination…of Kakashi jumping out after him, silver hair fluttering wildly in the wind, and a hand oustreched as if reaching for him. Like a savior in a fairytale.

'It would have been nice,' he thought with a small smile, before he hit the water and the horrendous force engulfed him in darkness. A cold darkness he might never wake up from.

TBC.

AN

Wow. That's the longest chapter I've written so far. I planned to chop it up somewhere in the middle, but I figured it was better to give it in one go since everything that happened is very much interrelated with one another. Besides, I didn't want to end it any other way. Evil me. I also planned to take the "bed scene" a little further, but oh well. That'll have to do, for now. As you may have also noticed, the Genma, Yuiko POV somewhere was supposed to be an extra, but I thought it kinda destroys the mood if I placed it at the end. Anyway, tell me what you think about this chapter. Do you like where it's going so far?

Special thanks goes to all those who reviewed so far. I'm honestly surprised sometimes because I never expect to get so many reviews. But I do, and it makes me so happy. I appreciate every single one of your little comments and inspirational messages. I'm doing better now that I was a few months ago, so thanks a lot. I received probably one of the sweetest messages anyone has ever given me from one of the reviews you guys posted. It's from Akai, did I get that right? The unsigned one… thanks a lot for it. If you guys have time, look through the reviews and see what I mean. Really sweet message. I would cook if I knew how to… and believe me, I'm doing really well in the chocolate-eating department. Thanks again!

And by the way, at the risk of being more evil than I already am, I have not… take note, HAVE NOT finished the next chapter. Far from it, actually. So please be patient and wait for the next installment. I'll try to have it out within a month, if I'm not too busy. By ending this chapter where I did, I have to take responsibility and not make you guys wait too long, right? So I better get to work ASAP. But not tonight… I've got an early day tomorrow and oh, look at the time… I've got only less than 5 hours to sleep.

Oh well. I've slept for fewer hours than that.

Till next time!

SD


	10. Letting Go

Disclaimers from previous chapters still apply.

AN: Hello everybody. No, I haven't died or contracted any weird diseases as of late (although my mom did get the measles… poor thing, red and itchy all over). I did however get an adorable sharpei puppy who thinks the whole house is his toilet, and I'm his personal servant. Oh, and an awful amount of schoolwork, and oh heavens, a law class too! Oh all the boring supreme court cases I've had to endure.

You might want to read the previous chapter, even just the last part before you read this, just to get reacquainted with stuff since, you know, it's been like forever since I last posted. But, hey, thanks for returning. Lengthier explanations at the end. Enjoy.

Chapter 10: Letting Go

There was a huge explosion, a scythe swinging through the air, Iruka falling down the cliff, Kakashi shouting his name and then jumping out after him. Everything happened so fast, Genma and Yuiko didn't even have any time to react.

"Iruka-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!" Yuiko gasped, clamping both her hands to her mouth.

"Shit, you son of a--- you'll pay for what you did!" Genma growled.

The old man was laughing hysterically now. "Fools! All of you are fools!" he bellowed. "You don't stand a chance against the Oro clan! You will die! All of you will die!" he said as the two servant girls wielding scythes stepped in front of him to block the two ninjas from approaching.

"Well, Yuiko, looks like it's up to us to show this senile old man who he's really messing with," Genma said to the other ninja left.

"Yup. I say we beat them up good and then dangle them by their underwear out on the cliff!" she said almost too enthusiastically.

Genma eased himself into a fighting stance and smirked. "I think I like the sound of that," he said. 'Kakashi and Iruka, you guys better come back alive!' Genma thought.

Falling, Kakashi was falling so quickly, and yet not quick enough. He reached his hand out as far as he could, and yet the distance between them only grew farther. His chakra flared to epic proportions but it was no use. He felt so helpless. No matter how skillful a ninja he was, his hand would still not reach Iruka.

He saw Iruka's tears then that small smile that graced his features. It was so beautiful and so tragic at the same time. Kakashi thought it was like Iruka was saying goodbye to him, smiling at him for the last time. There would be no tears and no smiles after this. No laughter, no clever quips, no embarrassed blushes, no angry retorts, no warmth from those brown eyes. Kakashi felt an agonizing pain in his chest, like his heart was being ripped apart.

And in that instant, Kakashi knew the true meaning of fear.

Kakashi plunged into the water like a torpedo, conjuring up all his chakra control just to cushion his fall. He remembered his previous joke and realized that he was right. No amount of chakra control could stop it from hurting.

There were bubbles everywhere. He couldn't see anything but white and when he raised his head out of the water, he searched the waters frantically for a sign, any sign that would lead him to Iruka. He battled the current as he searched and searched. A few seconds passed by and the cold dread inside Kakashi began to swell. 'I lost him. I lost him. Oh god, I lost him!' his mind began to chant. He was starting to panic. He never panicked. Not until now.

Then, for a split second, almost as if it were a figment of his imagination, he saw a glimpse of Iruka's brown hair before it disappeared beneath the waters ahead.

He swam with such speeds he never knew he possessed. The strong current of the water seemed non-existent to the jounin now. He reached his hand out again. Maybe this time, he could reach Iruka. Oh how he hoped he reached him.

The moment his hand grazed the back of Iruka's vest, Kakashi grabbed the other man and pulled him up enough to keep his head out of the water. His worried eyes scanned Iruka's face, deathly pale and unresponsive. But he was alive. That was all Kakashi needed to know for the moment. Using his chakra to keep both of them afloat, he hugged Iruka close to him, cradling his head on his shoulder as the swift current swept them away.

Iruka can't remember exactly how he got hurt… it was so long ago, he was very young back then. He could remember that somehow it was his fault, that somehow, some childish act had gotten him that wound across his nose. He could remember a little about how much it had hurt and a little of how much blood was dripping down his face. But more than that, what he remembered more vividly was the look on his mother's face. Suddenly the lines on her face were more defined, as if the years caught up with her in that moment. She looked very tired, and her face showed an expression of worry like her world was shattering before her eyes. She was scolding him for not being careful, scolding him for not listening. But as she did that, he could see the expression on her face. He couldn't understand it then, why his mom looked more hurt than he did.

It was probably the same way he looked when Naruto came to him with tears rolling down his cheeks as he showed him a large bruise on his cheek and several small ones on his arms and legs. The boy was just starting in the ninja academy, and he got into a fight with one of the older boys who told him he was a freak who did not deserve a family. It must have hurt badly. He didn't understand why the other kids ostracized him. And yet Naruto had that stubborn look on his face, like he was willing himself not to cry. He kept rubbing his eyes and suppressing his sobs. But he stopped and looked at Iruka's face. "Is Iruka-sensei hurt, too? Why is Iruka-sensei about to cry?" the boy asked.

And when Iruka opened his heavy eyes and saw the same look on Kakashi's face, like he was feeling all of Iruka's pain as well, from the splitting headache, to the dull pain on his chest, to the almost paralyzing soreness of his entire body…

Somehow, Iruka felt at ease for the first time in a long while. Somehow, in that moment, a warmth blossomed in his chest, and he felt loved.

Iruka tried to open his eyes but he felt like his eyelids wouldn't budge. He tried again, and when he was able to open his eyes even just a little, he saw Kakashi's worried face hovering above him. The older man looked so pale and his eyes somehow looked like they were about to cry. "Kakashi-sensei?" he asked, and he was suddenly wrapped in a warm embrace.

He felt Kakashi's sigh of relief on his ear. "I almost didn't think you'd wake up," Kakashi said. He pulled away from the embrace and cupped Iruka's face in his hands. "I'm so glad you're still alive," he said before kissing Iruka passionately.

Before Iruka had any time to react, Kakashi broke the kiss and hugged him again tightly. 'What happened?' Iruka was about to ask, but then the memory of the blast, of him falling down the cliff and hitting the water, all of that came back to him.

He sat up, holding his head as the memories surged. In that moment, he had so many questions, but the only one that he was able to ask was, "Why are you here?"

Kakashi pulled away from the embrace again to look into Iruka's eyes, "I jumped out after you," he began, "Don't you remember? You even looked at me before you fell in the water… after that, I somehow managed to get a hold of you and we were washed away here," he said.

"Here?" Iruka asked automatically. He took a quick look around and saw that they were in a small cave at the side of the mountain. He was laying on a standard issue sleeping bag wearing only his pants that were rapidly drying. He saw his vest and shirt lying on a huge boulder on one side, along with Kakashi's own vest and shirt. Kakashi opted to be modest and leave them in their pants, which was all for the better. At least, Iruka didn't have to feel awkward towards him. Kakashi sat beside him on the dirt, the light of the fire making shadows dance around them.

His hand came up to his chest where he was slashed and saw that he was now bandaged and properly treated. Kakashi had done it.

Was he dreaming? Kakashi was here. And he saved him.

Iruka was even more perplexed.

"Why did you save me?" he asked. "The mission…"

"Do you think I care more about the mission than you? God, Iruka, when I saw you fall, I couldn't even think of anything else but going after you," Kakashi said, lightly caressing Iruka's cheek.

Iruka felt his heartbeat grow faster with Kakashi's words. To think Kakashi was so overwrought with concern for him that he dropped everything else just to save him. And yet, it all felt so surreal. How could someone care for him that much? He hated himself for always doubting. And yet, he can't help it. "Why?" he whispered. "I don't understand. Why are you doing this?"

"Hey," Kakashi said with a smile that seemed to dispel all of Iruka's worries. "I'll say it as many times as you want. I like you. I like you so much that the mere thought of you dying is enough to make me go crazy."

The chuunin fell silent for a while. He already made a decision to trust Kakashi. But he had to be sure. He just had to know for sure whether Kakashi's feelings for him were true… before he could allow himself to start having feelings for him as well. Then again, maybe it was already too late.

Nevertheless, he slowly reached for the hip pouch that was still securely fastened beside his own. Kakashi's eyes showed his surprise when he saw what Iruka was holding. He must have left it in the room. And from the hesitant and troubled look on the younger man's face, Kakashi deduced that Iruka had seen what was inside of it.

Iruka opened the pouch and pulled out the kunai. He cradled it in his hands as the silence between the two stretched on. "I found this…" he began, observing the weapon's every knick and scratch just to make sure. He looked back at Kakashi's face that held an unreadable expression. "You know what this is, right?" he asked, his voice sounding frightful and hopeful at the same time.

"Yes, I had a hunch," he replied. "It's a kunai, the one you dropped during the fight. The one you were using to hurt yourself."

"Then why do you have it?!" Iruka's voice rose, not quite yelling but enough to show the torment he was going through. "I'm trying, Kakashi-sensei. I'm trying so hard to trust you… but I keep on thinking that this might be another joke, that maybe you're just saying you like me then getting me all confused and later laughing at my face," he said, and this time he was more confused and frustrated than angry.

"Then trust me," Kakashi said. "Trust me enough to tell me everything that's bothering you. Even if you don't have any feelings for me," Kakashi paused, trying not to wince. He didn't think saying that would actually hurt that much. And as much as the thought that Iruka might never return his feelings, he realized he had no place to be selfish at that moment. He took a deep breath as if bracing himself for what he was about to say next, "at least trust me enough to let me love you," Kakashi said.

Love.

Iruka's eyes grew wide. Love. That single word sent Iruka in a new state of shock. He hadn't realized the impact of that one word. He shouldn't be surprised anymore. He already knew that was what Kakashi meant when he said he liked him. He already felt it. It was the word that explained why Kakashi was there in front of him right now, why he had saved his life. It was a word he never thought would leave Kakashi's mouth. And a word he never thought anyone would say to him.

And as if that whole time, he was holding his breath, he gasped for air and shook his head. "How could you love me?" Iruka choked. "We've known each other for so long. You've always insulted me… made me feel miserable… those scathing remarks… insensitive jokes… you've even taken Naruto away from me… how could you love me?!" he said. He knew he was being unfair with his last accusation. But he couldn't help it. That was how he felt.

Kakashi felt his heart break when he saw Iruka on the verge of tears. He never knew the younger man felt that way. Never knew that his foolish actions before had hurt the one person he cared about the most. He never hated himself more than he did in that moment. "I never intended to hurt you…" Kakashi began, his voice almost a whisper. "I've always liked you… but I didn't know how I was going to approach you. And when I was near you, I always felt so awkward and ended up rubbing you the wrong way," he tried to explain.

"And for the first time in my life, I felt like I couldn't do anything right, so I resigned myself to just watching you from afar. I thought that'd be enough… but then the hokage approached me with a mission," he began. "She… was deeply concerned about you. She noticed peculiar things about you… and she wanted me to find out what was wrong."

With the mention of the hokage and a mission, Iruka's eyes went wide and unfocused, and he started to shake. "Oh god…" Iruka whispered.

Kakashi wanted to just embrace him and show him the sincerity of his actions, the meaning of his words, the honesty of his feelings. But he called in his years of shinobi training to help keep his composure, and make Iruka understand everything. If he lost his senses now, he'll lose Iruka as well, and he couldn't stand that. There was absolutely no other choice.

"So the test…?" Iruka asked.

"Was part of the mission. But I promised you I wouldn't tell a soul and I kept it. I told the hokage nothing," Kakashi said.

Iruka didn't reply. He was still shaking, and he stared at the flame like it held all the answers.

"Oh, Iruka, please believe me. I wish I knew the right things to do, and the right things to say, but I don't," Kakashi began. "When I found out you were hurting yourself, I wanted to do everything I can to make whatever wretched feeling you're experiencing to go away. I wanted to be your hero, I wanted to bring a smile to your face… not the smile that you show to other people to make them think you're okay, but a real happy smile. I thought, hey, if I could make Iruka smile like that all the time, then I'd be the luckiest guy on earth.

"I swear, I never meant to deceive you in anyway. I care about you so much, and I almost lost you when you fell… please, I don't want to lose you again. Not because of this. Please, believe me. Trust me."

Kakashi's words seem to reverberate in Iruka's head. Why was he feeling so confused? Kakashi wanted him to trust him. Maybe he already did. Maybe somewhere along the way, it became more than just trust. His pounding heart told him it was something deeper. When? When exactly did he start to fall for him?

"I… I need to be alone right now…" Iruka said before standing up despite the soreness of his body. He couldn't stand to look at Kakashi's face. There was that look again. The look of hurt one felt because of love. Iruka averted his gaze. 'Please,' he thought. 'Don't look at me like that.'

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked softly.

"Outside…" Iruka said, and not waiting for a reply, he walked swiftly out of the cave. The cold air hit his face and for a moment he was stunned. It was pitch black outside, and he looked up at the patches of sky peeking through the treetops. There wasn't even a star in sight anymore, only heavy clouds gathering above. He shivered and walked on. The wilderness outside of the cave was dark and lonely, and he silently wished he had stayed in the cave with Kakashi. At least there, he was warm, and he felt oddly secure. That was what Kakashi made him feel just then. Like he wasn't alone. Like he belonged with Kakashi. And it only added to his confusion.

He should be mad at Kakashi for deceiving him, angry with him for playing all those silly games and toying with his emotions, and most of all, furious at him for professing his love. No one ever professes love to Iruka. No one.

But Kakashi did. He said he loved him. And Iruka believed him. The man saved his life! Threw away all rational thought and jumped off a cliff to save him. How could he not believe him? But more than that, there were those meaningful glances and cryptic smiles sent his way, gentle touches and passionate kisses. He never thought anyone could love him, but now the feeling overwhelmed him.

He continued to walk until he reached a clearing by the riverbank. He sat on one of the larger boulders and held his head in his hands. Admittedly, his confusion and anxiety was slowly ebbing away.

What scared him more was the fact that he was starting to fall in love with Kakashi. He didn't want to admit it, but maybe he already had.

Could it be true? Could someone as useless and as weak as him be worthy of being loved?

Surely there must be some mistake. Why would Kakashi want to be with him? Someone who can't fight to save those he loved, someone who can't even fight to save himself. Why?

Those thoughts swirled in Iruka's mind for a few moments, until he felt the presence of another person sitting beside him on the boulder.

"You asked me why I had your kunai with me…" Kakashi began.

Iruka glanced to his side and saw Kakashi holding the kunai in both hands, cradling it as if it were a precious jewel. 'He followed me out here just to explain himself?' Iruka thought. 'Just when I've almost forgotten about it.'

"I know to other people… it might look like any other kunai. But you and I both know it's not," Kakashi said.

"It's a symbol of my weakness," Iruka answered cynically.

"Yes it is," Kakashi agreed.

Iruka couldn't help an empty chuckle that came from his throat. It was surprising to Iruka why Kakashi agreed so easily. Although, maybe not surprising after all. It just showed him as plain as day what Kakashi really thought of him. Weak. Useless.

"But, it is also a symbol of your strength," Kakashi added.

Iruka stopped and turned to look at Kakashi. "What did you say?" Iruka asked, unable to comprehend what he just heard.

"You used this kunai to hurt yourself so I thought of throwing it away when I saw it. But I didn't because… I realized you also used this kunai to save yourself. If anything, this kunai didn't show me your desire to die, but your desire to live… to fight for your life even if you thought it was hopeless, to fight for the people you care about, for Naruto and the others who might be in danger. And for me, that's the best reason to keep it."

As Kakashi spoke, Iruka could feel his chest grow heavier and heavier. He couldn't speak or utter a single sound. He just sat there motionless as he watched the kunai in Kakashi's hands.

Kakashi supposed Iruka's silence meant he didn't want to talk to him, but he continued nonetheless. "Look, I know you said you wanted to be alone right now…" Kakashi began, then sighed. "But… aren't you tired of being alone?"

The loneliness in Kakashi's voice struck Iruka. He turned to stare at Kakashi's face. Then his eyes grew wide as realization struck him.

Why WOULD Kakashi want to be with him?

He found the answer in Kakashi's eyes.

There, in those blue and red orbs, was loneliness as deep as his.

It was like all the pressure in Iruka's chest erupted and tears flowed continuously down his face.

Why hadn't he realized it before?

The pain, the suffering… Kakashi felt it too, just like him. Blinded by his own troubles, he didn't see just how much those eyes were crying out for him. All this time, Iruka never once knew why Kakashi was doing this, why he was insisting on getting close to him. Now he knew. Kakashi needed him too. He wasn't useless after all.

Suddenly the strong, independent, and fearless image of Kakashi he had in mind drastically changed. And in its wake, all Iruka could see was a man who was deeply wounded, a man who was not afraid to be vulnerable in front of him, a man who wanted exactly what he himself had wanted for so long… to be loved.

Kakashi knew the pain of losing someone he loved. How many times had Iruka seen the jounin standing in front of the memorial stone for hours, even in the rain or snow? He knew what it was like to grieve for the rest of his life, to love someone who was never coming back. He knew exactly what Iruka was feeling.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka's sobbing form. The chuunin looked inconsolable. Right now he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Until Iruka turned to him and buried his face on his chest and cried. Kakashi hugged Iruka tighter, as if nothing in the world is going to make him let go.

Iruka looked up at Kakashi even as the tears flowed from his eyes. "You…" Iruka began, trying not to choke on the words as it left his mouth. He must look pathetic now. "You're lonely too, right?" Iruka asked, his voice hopeful. "Tell me you feel exactly how I feel. Tell me you feel it too…" he said. He knew the answers to his questions, but Iruka wanted, no, needed to hear it from Kakashi's lips.

Kakashi smiled weakly. "I'm lonely… You're not the only one. Is it selfish of me to want to be with you because you make my loneliness disappear? Is it selfish of me to want you to accept me too? If you would just let this selfish man in… then you'll never have to be alone. We'll both never have to be alone anymore," he said, staring back at Iruka with eyes overflowing with emotion.

And then Iruka kissed him.

Iruka rose up and kissed him on the lips, hugging Kakashi back like his very life depended on him.

Kakashi kissed back earnestly after he got through the initial shock. He felt like he just won a huge battle, and his prize was here, holding him back and kissing him with all the love he could muster… all the love he ever wanted from him. Iruka finally accepted him.

They parted, and Kakashi cupped Iruka's face in both his hands, tenderly wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"Just promise me…" Iruka whispered, his pleading voice told Kakashi just how much he wanted this. "…Promise me you'll never leave me," Iruka said. He knew it was an impossible request. He knew someday he'd lose him, just like everyone else. Kakashi would leave him alone too. He knew that, but he just wanted to hear Kakashi say it to him.

"I promise you," Kakashi began, "that I'll never leave you, and I'll love you whether you like it or not."

Iruka kissed Kakashi again, letting him feel all the emotion he had bottled up inside through their kiss. There was no turning back now for Iruka. He was going to stop doubting himself and others. He was falling in love with Kakashi more and more, and he wasn't going to deny it. After a long, long while, Iruka was going to live.

They spent a few more moments sitting together by the riverside, watching the rapidly flowing water just an arm's length from their feet. Kakashi was holding Iruka in his arms, and he wasn't about to let go anytime soon.

"We were drifted pretty far from Gorrion, I think," Kakashi said as he absent-mindedly played with a lock of Iruka's hair.

With that Iruka turned to him in alarm. "Genma-san and Yuiko-san!" Iruka gasped. "Where are they? Are they alright?"

"Shh… don't worry about them. They'll manage without us," Kakashi said.

"Did you say anything to them… where we would meet up to give the scroll back?" Iruka asked, genuinely concerned for their comrades' safety.

"Uhh…" Kakashi smiled sheepishly. "I really didn't have enough time… or presence of mind to say something useful to them before I came after you."

Iruka had to admit the thought of Kakashi jumping after him made his heart beat faster. But he was still concerned about the other two ninjas. "So, what did you say?" he asked.

Kakashi looked up at the cloudy sky thoughtfully. "I think I said something like… 'take charge' to Genma-san." When Iruka looked at him as if he had done some grave mistake, Kakashi tried to explain his way out. "But hey… I'm sure he understood that they have to get the scroll… and return it to the Platino's themselves… or something…hehe," he laughed nervously.

"But Kakashi-sensei," Iruka began.

"Look, don't worry about them so much. We have to worry about ourselves first…"

"But the scroll…" Iruka tried to say, but Kakashi continued.

"…like how we can get back to the Platino house to meet---"

"Wait," Iruka said, placing a finger on Kakashi's lips to stop him from talking. "You didn't let me finish," Iruka interrupted. "What I'm trying to say is… the scroll… I have it."

Kakashi's eyes grew wide. "You what?" Kakashi said when Iruka removed his finger.

"I have the scroll… It's in my pack, back in the ca-mmph," Iruka explained, the last part coming out in a muffled yelp when Kakashi suddenly kissed him.

"Wow, I didn't even realize you got it. You're just amazing. No wonder I fell in love with you," Kakashi said with a wide grin.

Iruka blushed like a ripe tomato and pushed Kakashi away. "Stop saying such embarrassing things," he said.

"Oh that's not so embarrassing compared to all the things I told you a while ago," Kakashi beamed.

"I'll be sure to remember every single detail," Iruka replied with a smile of his own.

"So, let's see that scroll for ourselves, shall we?" Kakashi said. They both stood up and started walking back to the cave.

"Hey…" Iruka began.

"What?"

"Did you really 'watch me from afar'?" Iruka asked, and had the pleasure of seeing Kakashi blush.

"Damn, when you say it like that, it makes me sound like a stalker," Kakashi said.

"Well, did you?" Iruka urged.

"Uhh… lets just say I'm really good with leaves," Kakashi said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Huh. Now I know why the leaves on the tree just outside my classroom were thicker than usual… " Iruka said thoughtfully.

"Well, that's not the only tree you should be worrying about," Kakashi said with a wink, and Iruka was left thinking of all the other times Kakashi might have spied on him.

"This is the troublesome scroll alright," Kakashi said when they got back to the cave and Iruka took the scroll out of the bag. "Then we'll be the ones bringing it back to the Platino's."

"You think Genma-san and Yuiko-san will be there when we get it back?" Iruka asked.

"Hmm… I'm sure they'll try to steal it from the old man, and when they realize it's not there… they'll put two and two together and meet us at the Platino compound," Kakashi said.

"I sure hope so," Iruka said as Kakashi started inspecting the scroll.

"Hah, I knew it!" Kakashi said in triumph.

"What is it? They didn't get to open the seals, did they?" Iruka asked.

"No. Not even a single one. The old man tried to fool us by blinding us with that bright light so we can't see that when he opened the scroll, the writings didn't appear…" Kakashi said.

"…because the scroll was still heavily encrypted," Iruka finished.

"Exactly. I had a hunch that was what the unnecessarily bright light was for," he said.

"So, wait a minute," Iruka said. "You knew that the illusion might be fake…from the very beginning?" Iruka asked.

"Well, I didn't believe for a second that the scroll was activated and the illusion had taken effect. I thought, 'who is this old geezer fooling?' But when I saw you falling, I was shocked that what he said was true… that he was going to show me the thing I feared the most," Kakashi explained.

"Kakashi-sensei! What were you thinking?" Iruka asked, trying desperately not to blush and to calm his heart from beating to quickly. Kakashi feared his death? It was too good to be true. "What if it were only an illusion that I was falling? You could have died!" Iruka said in sincere concern.

"I knew it could have been an illusion. That if I jumped to save you, I would have fallen into their trap and I would die, our mission would fail and the Oros would win. But I knew that I couldn't just stand by and watch you die, whether in an illusion or in real life."

Iruka was dumbstruck. Even if it were an illusion, Kakashi would still save him? He would choose him over his mission, over beating the enemy, even over his own life? "You would do that… just for me?" Iruka asked.

"I already did… and I'd do it again if I have to."

Iruka felt his eyes begin to water again.

"Aww crap. Did I say something wrong again?" Kakashi asked.

"No, no," Iruka said with a slight smile. "I just… I was just thinking… if there was something good that I did… for me to be worthy of you," Iruka said.

Kakashi felt like the world had just sung him praises fit for a king. "I'm not all that special, you know. And don't ever think for one second that you're not worthy of being loved. You are more than worthy of anyone's love… just because you're alive and you are you. There's no other reason you need," Kakashi said.

Iruka smiled and hugged Kakashi tightly. "You're so kind to me all of a sudden," Iruka said with a smile on his face. "I think I'm starting to rely on you too much already…"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Well… I'm not THAT kind," Kakashi said, shifting uneasily.

Iruka eased his embrace a little to look at Kakashi's face in wonder.

Kakashi cleared his throat again and glanced downward for a split second before meeting Iruka's eyes again.

Iruka, bewildered, looked down at where Kakashi glanced… and saw exactly what Kakashi meant, and blushed a whole new shade of red again.

"I can't really help it," Kakashi said with his own face blushing slightly. "Especially when the usually shy Iruka suddenly kissed me, several times, and even hugged me tightly…"

"So…" Iruka said, then cleared his throat as well, "out there… by the river… when we were… uhm… sitting together…?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle at how innocent and embarrassed Iruka looked. "Yeah… that wasn't a scroll you were feeling poking you at all…" Kakashi said unabashedly.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka said indignantly.

"What?! It's the truth. I can't help the way I feel every time you touch me… or I touch you…It just happens…"

Iruka looked at Kakashi's face thoughtfully. Then blushed a deeper shade of red when he said, "Do we… uh… have to take the scroll back immediately?" Iruka asked shyly, almost refusing to meet Kakashi's eyes.

If he did meet Kakashi's eyes, he would have seen them sparkle like a little boy's on Christmas day. "Hmm…" Kakashi said, then a lecherous grin was plastered on his face, "I'm sure they wouldn't mind waiting till morning…" Kakashi said before hugging Iruka tighter, their bodies touching in all the right places. So much so that Iruka would definitely think that THAT is NOT a scroll. Not a scroll at all.

EXTRA:

In the Platino Clan house:

"Yuiko-san?" Genma asked.

"Yes?" Yuiko answered.

"They have the scroll right?"

"Yes!" Yuiko answered in her usual perky self. "They survived. I know they did! Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei are the greatest! They won't let their love end in tragedy!" she said.

"Ohh… is that so huh?" Genma said thoughtfully.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh! They'll return the scroll for sure!" she said.

"Then why the heck aren't they here yet?! It's nearly sun up! Where in the world are they!!" Genma complained.

"Oh, Genma-san… you know those things take time," she said with a giggle.

"What things?" Genma asked, then seeing that lecherous fan-girl expression on Yuiko's face, he balked. "Never mind. Forget I asked."

"But Genma-san, don't you wanna know what I think's really happening?" Yuiko said, her voice positively giddy. "You see here… they're probably somewhere… in the forest…

"Ohhh…dear hokage, what did I do to deserve this?" Genma mumbled to himself.

"…like, oh, oh! A cave! And they've got their sleepingbags…" Yuiko went on and on… until Genma thought that he really was placed in a never ending illusion he would surely die from.

TBC

NOVEMBER 5, 2009: Important Author's Note: Hi... I'll post the next chapter within the next couple of days. This next chapter, however, is NC-17, which could lead to the suspension of my account if ever the powers that be get wind of it. Hence, I've started posting a REVISED version of this fiction on my lj page, **renka-sd DOT livejournal DOT com** . Feel free to just go there and read the REVISED and edited version (now made more reader-friendly with less! grammatical errors). As of now, only the revised chapters upto CH7 have been posted there. I'll post the rest within the next couple of days, along with CH11.

Leave a comment on my lj if you want. I'll post a proper explanation and sort of apology letter for my absence these past YEARS! on my lj as well, so please go there if you're one of those who used to read this fic but since I didn't update for so long, felt cheated, and now need at least some sort of explanation to ease your curiosity/anger.

Again, I'll continue posting future chapters here, but I'll only post the REVISED chapters on my lj, **renka-sd DOT livejournal DOT com** , so if you want the better versions, you can go there. Nothing much changed in the story, I just made some details clearer and corrected some errors here and there. If however, you don't mind reading through this, then please, do go on.

Lots of love, SD.

AN:

I suppose I owe you guys an explanation just so you know why I again did not finish the chapter immediately. The reason is I actually got most of the chapter done already in a little over a month. Then I left it to stew for a week, and when I read it again, I was totally unsatisfied with it. It wasn't going the way I planned at all. Too heavy and convoluted even for me. So I scrapped nearly half of it and I revised it, and revised it, and revised it… until voila! This 10th chapter finally materialized. Hopefully this revision is acceptable and not too confusing.

What do you think? Not up to par? Did I miss something important? Anything you think I should change? Please, do tell. Leave a review, an email, a pm, even hunt me through ym, that's fine too. So long as I can hear what you guys think and whether you think I'm going in the right direction, or waaay off course.

No promises as to when I'll post the next chapter. Only finished like 3 pages of it so far… I still have a long way to go. All I can say is I will try to finish it as soon as I can. You can't rush genius, you know. Haha, okay scratch that. Even I couldn't stomach how egotistical that sounded. But seriously, I don't like rushing 'cause when I post it and read it again and see things I so desperately want to change, it eats me up. Everything has to be the exact way I want it to be. I hope you understand this little quirk in my personality.

Thanks for all the support, for reviewing, and even for just reading. The fact that you still read it despite the long months in between updates is something I am truly thankful for. Well, on to the next chapter. Hope to hear from you again and again.

SD


	11. Important AN and part of CH11

Hi. I'm back. If you want to know what I've been doing these past few YEARS!, and if you wanted to read an edited and better ( I assure you, its better. Not very different, but better. Less errors both on facts and grammar) version of this story, feel free to visit my lj- **renka-sdDOTlivejournalDOTcom** (just replace the DOT with . :p but I'm sure you knew that already!) Or you could navigate to my profile page and just click on the link there. :-D

Since this next chapter is not allowed here, and I don't think I'd want my account suspended, I've just posted the somewhat safe part of this chapter. If you want the full chapter, please go to my LJ. Thanks. Reminders will be at the bottom as well.

Fandom: Naruto  
Title: Trapped Dolphin (11/?)  
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka  
Rating: NC17! for this chapter, NC17 overall  
Warning: Truckloads of Angst, Suicidal tendencies, and at times too much cheese. Read at your own risk.  
Summary/ Teaser: "This isn't a joke, Iruka sensei. I WILL kill you," Kakashi warned. It was quite chilling to hear Kakashi utter those words. Iruka never imagined for an instant in his life that he would feel the wrath of Konoha's legendary copy nin..."

Chapter 11: The Mission's End

The fire burned brightly in the cave as heavy rain started pouring outside.

"Hey, why are you shivering? I haven't done anything yet."

"It's c-cold!"

"Heh, don't worry. I'll warm you're body up soon enough."

"Kakashi-sensei! Stop sounding like a perverted old man!"

"But I AM a perverted old man," Kakashi said with a chuckle before capturing Iruka's lips with his own. While Iruka was distracted with the kiss, Kakashi's hand slid down to tweak a nipple between his fingers. Iruka moaned into the kiss and the corners of Kakashi's mouth curved upward. He bit the chuunin's lip before he mumbled, "Is this 'coz of the cold too?" he asked as he continued to tease Iruka's hard nipple.

"If you continue talking like that… there's really gonna BE someone sleeping out in the cold tonight. And it's not gonna be me," Iruka warned.

Kakashi's chest rumbled with his laughter. "Do you know you're so hot when you're angry?" he asked.

"Kakashi-sensei…please…" Iruka begged almost too impatiently, and Kakashi was damn lucky that didn't give him a massive nosebleed. He thought he was aroused before… now it seemed he reached a totally different level altogether.

"Oof!" was the surprised sound that came from Iruka's mouth when Kakashi suddenly pushed him down on the sleeping bag and ravished him. The feeling of that wonderful tongue inside his mouth, and those big, warm hands roaming all over his body made Iruka lightheaded with pleasure. It felt like he was burning inside. Like every kiss, every touch only fueled the fire within him. Only Kakashi. Only he could make Iruka feel this way.

Then Kakashi's hands cupped Iruka's rear and gave a good squeeze. Iruka gasped… and then the gasp turned to a loud moan when Kakashi ground his hips on Iruka's. Suddenly, their pants felt like a total hindrance to both, but Kakashi continued to ground his hips on Iruka's, letting him feel just how painfully aroused he was even through the layers of fabric. "Mmm, I want you so much," Kakashi moaned into Iruka's ear even as he humped him through their pants.

Iruka shut his eyes tightly as a new wave of arousal washed over him because of Kakashi's words. There was an ache growing inside his body… like this wasn't enough. Like all the amazingly good kissing, touching, and that gloriously wonderful grinding wasn't enough. He wanted more… he wanted to feel more of Kakashi. He wanted to feel everything. He wanted Kakashi. All of him.

Before he knew it, his hands were already on the waistband of Kakashi's pants, not nearly pulling on it but fumbling with it.

Kakashi, getting the hint, helped Iruka pull his pants down from his hips to his thighs to his knees before he kicked the garment off. And before long, Kakashi was the one undressing him, and he was the one kicking his pants off to the side.

Then Kakashi's hands came up to tangle themselves in Iruka's hair as he almost literally devoured Iruka's mouth. He ground his now thankfully unclothed hips over Iruka's and they both gasped, breaking the kiss instantaneously when their naked erections rubbed against each other.

Kakashi looked at Iruka's face. He was panting heavily, his eyes were half open and dazed, his lips swollen, and the most beautiful shade of pink was splashed across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "If this is a dream… then I'll definitely massacre anyone who wakes me up from it," he said before claiming Iruka's lips once more.

On Iruka's part, he couldn't, for the love of him, understand just how Kakashi could still string a coherent sentence now. Not when it feels like he's about to spontaneously combust and his mind had long since stopped functioning properly. And ohhh god, is that Kakashi's hand stroking both their erections at the same time? Iruka had to agree… if this was a dream… all hell would break lose if he should wake up from it.

Distantly, he heard himself whimper the moment Kakashi's mouth left his. "Please," he whispered. He didn't exactly know what he was asking from Kakashi. All he knew was he wanted more.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was at the end of his line. He was surprised he still had a shred of control left in him, but when Iruka whimpered and pleaded, he knew he was doomed.

"Oh, fuck…I'm still human after all," he mumbled to himself.

"Please," Iruka begged again, his hands gripping Kakashi's shoulders desperately. Then he bucked his hips forward, wanting more of Kakashi … of the agonizingly wonderful sensation of the force of Kakashi's weight on him.

This earned him another colorful curse from Kakashi.

AN: Please please visit my lj instead. Link's at my profile page. If you want the link directly to this chapter, its

**renka-sd**DOT**livejournal**DOT**com/4520**DOT**html**

If you want to read the previous chapters, they've been edited there as well.

I don't want to be suspended here. I might want to post other stories here as well, so I'd very much like to keep this account if possible. I know I might be pissing some people off because of this, and I'm terribly sorry!

Thanks!

SD


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